


Take Me To Church

by Gospa



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Boys In Love, Coming of Age, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi story, Story of Konoha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-03-09 04:09:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 63,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3235736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gospa/pseuds/Gospa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Konoha's residents and history, centering and following the growing relationship between its two most notorious boys. HIATUS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:  
> Name title in Italics font: Past/Flashback  
> Name title in normal font: Present.

* * *

Naruto

The first thing Naruto ever noticed about Uchiha Sasuke was his pale skin. A smooth neck, with a strong build. He was tall, too. Even when they had been younger, he had always been taller, even if just by an inch. His sharp features and symmetrical face had always made Naruto jealous.

All the girls loved Uchiha Sasuke.

Dark hair,

Dark eyes,

Dark personality.

Naruto, after all, had been chubby only until late puberty, with a round face and big eyes. The girls had never paid attention to him. He’d been the loser in his class and the last on every test. He’d always been so far from the Uchiha. So, so far.

* * *

Sasuke

Sasuke’s father had always tried to tell him that family was everything. He had had this shoved down his throat since he had learnt how to speak—maybe that was why he had been a quiet child. Either way, his father had always tried to tell him, the only people that would stick with you in your life are those related to you.

But his father was unsociable, like him. It always made the Uchiha wonder, maybe his father’s way of thinking came from his inability to bond, his inability to form relationships or friendships other than that with his wife. And god knows if she even still loved him. Maybe it was his father’s own insecurity that made think this way.

Sasuke shook his head. Why was he thinking about this?

“Watcha thinking bout?” Suigetsu peered over him.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?” He cooed. “You look depressed.”

“Hn.”

“Are you thinking about gay porn?” Suigetsu asked.

Sasuke raised a brow.

Suigetsu explained, with a low mutter, “I always look depressed when I think about gay porn.”

“No.”

Suigetsu had pink skin and blue hair. He sat one leg on the ground, bent as not to touch Sasuke, who was sitting on the other end. His hair was long enough to frame his face—too long for a boy, Sasuke had always thought. He had light coloured eyes, and sharp features, unlike Sasuke’s, feminine. Girlier than a girl.

Suigetsu wasn’t someone he would call his ‘best friend’. The term had never seemed to fit well with the boy, if he was his best friend, it was only by default. Mostly their friendship was based on the dissociation with the rest of society. Suigetsu had a desire for shock and even when he was provoking other, the boy had no filter. His mind was something unexplainable. Sasuke was the only one blasé enough to accept him.

The Uchiha held the full beer in his hand, he didn’t even like to drink, while watching Suigetsu tap on his empty can rhythmically on his chest.

The room was dim and the air thick.

All he could think was how unnecessary this situation was.

“You said Juugo would be here.”

Suigetsu groaned. “I told you, I tried to get him to come… But you know how he is… Homework.” Suigetsu mocked. “Alcohol is for losers.”

“It’s just a party.”

“That’s what I told him!” Suigetsu exclaimed. “See! Even you agree!”

Juugo was in a similar situation to Suigetsu and Sasuke, with his dissociation from society and awkward personality, Suigetsu had ended up clinging to him. Juugo was so calm and civil; Suigetsu had become obsessed with him. In the end, they had become friends.

“Hey boys!”

Ino walked into their room with long blonde hair and a tight dress. She was one of the most popular girls in their year level, not that it mattered, had invited them to a party. There were a few unrecognisable people Sasuke had seen, university students probably, that had made it in.

The house was triple storey, very modern. It was smooth beige from the outside, with almost every room having a wall sized window overlooking the rich neighbourhood, most of the furniture looked like it was designed specifically for the Yamanaka family.

Suigetsu and Sasuke were in the middle storey lounge room drinking beer, alone.

“What are you doing here alone? The others and I are upstairs, do you wanna come?”

“Who’s upstairs?” Suigetsu asked.

“Kiba, Sakura, Shikamaru, Tenten…” She said. “Shino, Hinata—

“ _Hinata’s_ at this party?!” Suigetsu exclaimed.

Poor Hinata was not someone accustomed to gatherings.

Ino shrugged. “She heard Naruto was coming.” 

“Naruto’s up there?” Suigetsu asked.

“Yeah.”

* * *

Naruto

Ino walked through the door with a shrug. “No good.”

“He’s not coming?” Sakura asked.

“No.” Ino sat next to Hinata on the couch.

“Is he alone?”

“No. Suigetsu’s with him.” Ino replied.

“So, if he’s at this party I guess he’s back to normal then?” Chouji asked from next to Shikamaru.

Half way through the last school year Sasuke’s brother had died.

Kiba turned his head, pulling out his elbow and nudging the boy next to him. “You must be relieved then!”

The attention in the room was brought to the blond next to Kiba.

Naruto sat beer in his hand, which he’d only really began drinking recently. He sat up on the couch in the back of the room with Shikamaru on his left, and Lee beside Shikamaru. With his soft blond hair and thick jaw line, it was fair to say, Naruto had grown into manhood.

They waited for his reply, but after receiving none, Ino cooed, “Aw! You miss him!”

Naruto’s response was loud. “PFF— _like hell_! I’d miss him like I’d miss a rock in my _shoe_!” He leant back into the couch. “I’m _glad_ he doesn’t bother me anymore!”

Sasuke didn’t come to school for a month after the death, and at first he barely talked to anyone. Naruto tried not to look at him too much when it had happened, god knows the first two or three days everyone was always was. He knew how it felt to be looked at. He didn’t know what to do. Sasuke didn’t make crude comments anymore. There was no banter. Their fights had gotten them close enough to have a relationship, but not close enough for that sort of comfort.

So, he had stayed away when Sasuke had come back. Space.

Time passed and the Uchiha started to drift back into himself. Everything started to come back together, everything except Naruto. Sasuke just stopped acknowledging him.

People reacted to grief in different ways, Naruto guessed.

Ino laughed. “That’s so cute.”

The couch creaked, and he watched his Shikamaru stand up.

“Smoke.” Shikamaru explained.

Naruto stood up too. “I’m coming.”

The party was a drag and the cold air on the balcony felt amazing on his skin. He found himself very grateful to be out of the crowded area and in the open space. The sky was already pitch dark. The view would’ve probably been amazing otherwise.

He watched Shikamaru pull out a packet from his pocket, then a cigarette and lighter.

“Need something?” Shikamaru asked.

 “Just some air.” Naruto replied.

Nara Shikamaru had features that almost reminded him of Sasuke. The same dark look, dark eyes, and dark hair, except Shikamaru looked warm to him. His hair was not black, but brown like his eyes. He had tanned skin, which made Naruto think of the sun. His personality was so calm and mellow, so unlike the Uchiha.

Naruto leaned on the railing, ignoring the smoke coming from the other boy.

“This party is a drag.” Shikamaru said.

“I know, right? There’s like nothing to do here, usually Ino’s parties are better than this.” He complained.

Truth be told, it was Naruto and Sasuke that were usually the life of the party.

Uchiha Sasuke was definitely not a smiling ball of energy, but when he entered a room he demanded attention. It was thanks to that, and his sarcastic arrogance, that he was so easily able to bait the loud, dramatic, humourist and good hearted blond.

There was enough energy between them to fill a room up for days—like an episode of Tom and Jerry, Shikamaru thought. Maybe this was them all growing up. The thought made Shikamaru’s stomach curl.

“What do you think of Temari?”

The question came out of nowhere, and Naruto had to pause to process. “Temari?”

“Yeah.”

He imagined a blonde girl with green eyes and tan skin. “She’s good looking.”

Shikamaru nodded slowly, agreeing. The girl was curvy and thick in the ways high school boys couldn’t really appreciate. Apart from Shikamaru.

“You like thick girls?” Naruto asked, reading his mind.

“Thick?”

“Like curvy.” Naruto said. “ _Ass_.”

Shikamaru laughed. “Yeah.”

“Is that why you never dated Ino?”

Shikamaru made a face. “I never had interest in her. She never had interest in me. Did you think there was something between us?”

Naruto shrugged. “A bit.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. She was always bossing you around and stuff… You like bossy girls… Don’t you?”

“Not like that.” Shikamaru said. “I don’t like crazy girls.”

Naruto laughed. “Ain’t Temari crazy?”

Shikamaru shook his head. No. Temari was playful. Strong. Not crazy. Smart.

Temari was two years older than them, from Sunagakure, which explained the dark skin and thick hair. She was a dark blonde, unlike Ino. Unlike Ino in a lot of ways, actually, Shikamaru thought. For a while in school there had been rumours that Ino and Shikamaru had been dating, or at least having sex. But those rumours had died down. Shikamaru had never paid attention to them, and Ino had never really been offended. Ino was thin like a model, and cute. Nice to look at, sure. But Temari…   

“Ino always had a crush on the bastard though,” Naruto said. “So I guess it doesn’t matter.”

Shikamaru never took Ino’s feelings for Sasuke seriously—not that it mattered. He had always thought it was just petty competition and jealousy towards Sakura.

Naruto had never gotten along with Ino when they were younger. In truth, she had been one of the girls which had loved Sasuke but hated Naruto. She’d called him a lot of names when he was younger and pretty much never let him around her. Luckily though, she’d out grown that childish nonsense. Naruto was never one to hold grudges anyway, and had found himself accepting Ino’s redemption. They were friends.

He stared at Naruto, who had his crossed arms on the railing of the balcony, leaning his face on it. Blue eyes turned to the Nara boy, “what?”

“Nothing.”

“Is all you wanted to ask about? Temari?” Naruto said.

Shikamaru put his used cigarette out, and then threw it off the balcony. “I’m thinking of asking her out.”

Naruto’s eyes lit up. “Really?!”

“Yeah.”

“Wow.” Naruto grinned. “About time. I’m surprised she hasn’t asked you out yet. Anyway, go ahead. Take the lead, man. Maybe she’ll get really turned on and let you top.”

Shikamaru sniggered. “Have you even had _sex_ with a girl?”

Naruto’s eyebrows furrowed, offended, he replied “ _Yes!_ Multiple times—actually!”

“Oh.” Shikamaru raised a brow. “Who?

“The girls I met.” Naruto muttered.

“Where?”

“I don’t know. There were a lot.”

“Pick one.”

“A bar.” Naruto replied. That was the common meeting place. “Or a party.”

“A party? Was that your first time.

“No.” Naruto said, and then following Shikamaru’s patient stare, continued. “It was back when I was working in that grocery store—before I got fired.” He’d been caught eating the food. “This girl came in and asked where the condoms where. I led her to the isle…” Naruto paused, blushing. “She asked if I recommended any. I said I don’t know. Then she asked which ones I normally used…” One thing led to another and they’d had sex in the storage room.

“That was your first time?” Shikamaru asked impressed.

“Yeah.”

“Are you lying?”

“No!”

“Damn…” Shikamaru said. “…Do you remember her name?”

Naruto shook his head.

“How was it?” He asked. “Good?”

Naruto shrugged. “Not bad.”

“Really?”

“It was better than my right hand.”

It hadn’t been mind-blowing. Better than doing it himself, sure. That was how sex was to him. If anything, he felt disappointed, when the boys in his class talked about sex it was like a battle of conquer. An amazing journey with the ultimate reward. Naruto had never expected himself to be so blasé about it. He was a passionate person. He either loved things or hated them. Yet, here he was.

Maybe Naruto was just mature… Then again, Shikamaru was the most mature person he knew, and he was obsessed with the act of ‘love’.

Then again, he wasn’t complaining. Sex was sex, and sex was good.

Shikamaru stared at him for a little too long, finally asking, “Was it enjoyable for her?”

“…Well, to be honest, she finished pretty fast…”

“Really?” Shikamaru was in doubt.

“No! Really! She must’ve been one of those hormone crazed girls or something!” She _had_ offered herself in a grocery store.

“Huh.” Shikamaru said. “And you didn’t really enjoy it?”

“It wasn’t bad.” Naruto repeated. “I don’t know. I didn’t hate it… What’s it supposed to feel like?”

Shikamaru and Temari had had sex before. Temari was a strong female who had never had much concern about the pressure of relationships when it had come to her libido, especially for boys only two years younger than her. He imagined the first time they’d had sex, in the school toilets with her under him and hands gripping his loosened hair. “Like every inch of your body is powering your dick.”

* * *

  
Naruto struggled with the door knob to the bathroom. The Yamanaka residence had three bathrooms; they didn’t use the one on the top floor because it didn’t lock properly or something?  But Naruto needed to get away, the balcony was taken and this was the next best thing. The other bathrooms were either in use or dirtied.

This party was a drag. He was tired. What time was it?

He entered the bathroom only to be met with expensive marble floors. Damn, Ino was rich. He ran the tap water; washing his face and smoothing back his hair with the cold water, watching it reform its messy shape almost immediately.

He glanced at all the soaps and lotions on the bathroom sink. For guests? The blond took a small soap in his hand and tossed it around a bit. Then put it back down. No use stealing soap.

There was only one window in this bathroom, and it was closed. Maybe that was why it felt so stuffy. He pulled against the collar of his shirt, and then put the toilet lid down, climbing onto it, and starting to wrestle with the window handle. Locked?

The last time Naruto had been startled, was when he’d been nine years old and expelled for the first time. After all, his father did work in the law enforcement. He’d been waiting on the curb of his school, with his backpack on his lap and had watched the car slowly pull up with a less than happy Minato driving. To be honest, after that, it had gotten a lot easier.

Other than that, there were horror movies. He could watch them easily, Naruto thought, but it was always in the middle of the night when the lights were out and he was by himself that the fear snuck in. Oh, it had been so funny to laugh at the way the evil corpse girl had crawled behind the stupid man and killed him when it was happening, but suddenly when he was alone and vulnerable, it was a lot less funny.

Those two things came to his mind when he heard the door to the bathroom rattle and creak. Startled, he froze, staring at the heavy door opening.

It was not until the door was firmly closed that Sasuke was met with wide blue eyes, and for a moment, they just stared at each other.

“WHAT?!” Naruto’s voice echoed. “What do you want?!”

The trance was broken. Sasuke’s face twisted back into a familiar look of annoyance. He glanced one more time at the blond before turning back to the door—like brushing of dust. Naruto ignored the irritation in his stomach.

Naruto watched Sasuke’s pale hands wrap around the door knob and then struggle. At first it was a minor annoyance, just twist. Then the twist became a rattle and pull. Again. Again. The rattling stopped and pale hands dropped from the door knob.

Wouldn’t it be funny if they got locked in here together? Naruto thought.

* * *

  
“Are you planning to break the door down?” Sasuke’s voice was harsh, and condescending. Angry.

You’re not the only one annoyed at this, Naruto thought, rattling the door knob, pulling and nudging the best way he could until he was basically wrestling with the door. “To get away from you! Probably!”

He let go of the door, muttering a ‘fuck’, and then smacking it with a closed fist.  

Sasuke watched him, and when the blond went back to the toilet, he too retried opening the door.

Ino was so rich, but not once had her family thought to fix this bathroom?

Naruto sat on the toilet, elbows on his knees and head between his hands. This was it. It was over. He was going to be trapped here with Uchiha Sasuke forever. How would they survive? How would they not kill each other? They would have to drink tap water to survive. Where would he sleep?

“Do you have a phone?”

Naruto looked up. Sasuke stood next to the bathroom mirror, staring down at him.

“I don’t have any credit left. Do you have yours?” Naruto replied.

It was the first time they had had a civil conversation in a long time.

Sasuke’s jaw tightened. “It’s not with me.”

“Where is it?!”

“…At home.”

Naruto stared at him with furrowed brows. “At _home_?!” He exclaimed. “You went to a party without a _phone_?!”

Sasuke scowled. He was aware how stupid it sounded, but truth be told he barely used his phone. It was one of the reasons he was so unsociable, and more than once had that habit cost him.

Naruto took out his phone, straight away tapping Sakura’s name. He put the phone to his ear. _‘Sorry, but your call cannot be—_

He hung up.

They were already at the top storey, no one would likely hear them screaming for help over the music and talk. This was really it. Fighting the urge to throw his phone across the bathroom, he put it in his pocket and leaned back on the toilet.

Ten minutes passed while Naruto was on the floor next to the toilet while Sasuke sat cross legged next to the sink. Naruto had spent around eight minutes playing Tetris on his phone, until it had shut down. Out of Battery.

“Did you tell people where you were going?” Sasuke’s voice was monotone.

Naruto glanced at him for a second, then to his own hands. “Yeah.”       

Sasuke watched the blond fidget, sulk, and then climb onto the toilet.

“You think you can climb out of there?” Sasuke mocked, watching him try and open the small window.

“Maybe I wanted some fresh air!” Naruto yelled. “Maybe you smell like shit!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, only angering him more.

“Why did you even come here?!” Naruto yelled. “All you do is roll your eyes and ignore people!”

Sasuke looked less and less agitated by the blond and more and more tired.

“You’re so _mature_!” Naruto mocked. “Too good for people like us! But you still show up to these events!”

“I didn’t even want to be here.”

“SO WHY ARE YOU HERE?!”

The room went quiet, all but the noise of the music downstairs and a few people screaming from laughter in another room.

There was something so blank in the way Sasuke was staring at him, it made Naruto want to hit him. Naruto’s fists were clenched, eyebrows furrowed, not realised how ready he was for a fight until now.

Sasuke was the first to look away, visibly agitated and uncomfortable.

Naruto stood up eccentrically, pacing around the room. He had never been good in small spaces, worse than that; he had never been good trapped. When he was younger the teachers gave up giving him detentions and started expelling him instead because the blond couldn’t stand detentions. And worse than that, he was trapped with _Sasuke_.

Sasuke slowly arouse.

Naruto watched him with glaring eyes.

“I can’t stand?”

Naruto turned around. “ _I can’t stand_.” He mocked.

“You sound stupid.”

“ _You_ sound stupid.” Naruto said.

The bathroom felt too small. Sasuke was moving too, walking. He moved past Naruto, and with an accidental shove—or maybe not accidental—things snapped.

Naruto could remember so many fights from their youth. The memories all seemed to blur, all the fights seemed the same looking back on it. He never really remembered the few hits after the first one. He never even remembered the cause for most of them. He just remembered Sasuke’s body on top of his and their wrestling hands trying to mark each other. It seemed so long ago to him now, but the body remembers.

Frustration, aggression and bottled up feelings could make you do ridiculous things.

The first thing he felt was Sasuke’s chest, and then he heard Sasuke grunt as his back was shoved against the wall. He felt his heartbeat accelerate, and as usual in fights, everything sped up.

The Uchiha, within a second, was shoving Naruto back into something else. That would bruise. His hip collided with the sink, unbalancing and throwing both to the floor. A loud wallop was heard and Naruto struck with the ground. That would also bruise.

Someone’s wrist was slammed into the marble floor. Someone’s arm accidentally hit into the window of the shower—Had Sasuke inadvertently pushed the lotions and soaps off the sink? Why was Naruto asking that? He swore he heard something crash.

Naruto grabbed Sasuke’s arm.

Sasuke didn’t know if Naruto had punched him in the stomach, but he felt something. They were basically wrestling. He tried to stand up, but was shoved backwards and kneed in the ribs. He didn’t know what about that moment made him so mad, but his fist flew straight to Naruto’s jaw.

Naruto felt the impact instantly. “Fuck.” He whined.

He tried to grab Naruto by the collar but the blond had used his right leg to unbalance Sasuke until they were both back on the floor. That was going to bruise too.

Naruto took his opportunity to propel Sasuke further into the ground. He held him down, trying to move on top of him, but their movements were so clumsy and all over the place in such a small space that Naruto’s knee ended up slamming into the floor. He felt the eruption of pain travel through his kneecap and down his shin, foot slipping. His entire right side went off balance and he fell again.

Sasuke tried to further the damage by kneeing him, which caused both boys to go off balance, again.

They collided violently with a grunt and a thud, slipping and falling.

He felt a hard chest underneath him and the up and down rhythm of someone’s breathing. Everything slowed down again. Naruto tried to move, but without the threat of fists flying into his face he found himself shutting down.

It was only after a moment that he processed the hot breathing in his ear.

Lifting his head, he found a worn out Uchiha under him.

“Fuck you.”

“Shut up.”

Sasuke’s breathing was hard. His skin was turning pink from adrenaline; light sweat covered his forehead and neck. Naruto had never been this close to him before, at least without trying to dodge an attack. It was like seeing a subdued lion up-close for the first time.

He hadn’t realised how hard he’d been staring until his eyes met with Sasuke’s.

“What are you doing?” His voice was low.

Then they heard the door handle shift. Naruto watched the door move seemingly all at once he felt hands propel him away. He was so taken aback he couldn’t brace himself and ended up propelling into the bathroom wall. Ouch.

By the time things came onto focus again Sasuke was walked out of the bathroom and Ino was peering inside, staring at the mess they had created.

“Someone said they heard yelling from here…” Ino said. “…Are you okay?”

* * *

  
He needed to go to the toilet. Well, not really. But he needed to get out of class.

It was the second day of school, in the first semester. It wasn’t supposed to be stressful, at least for him, and yet it was. He’d been only half an hour into class but was already looking for an excuse to leave.

He’d barely been able to focus in class, he’d been so tired. All he could think about was the party, thought he tried not to.

Naruto was struggling in school more than ever. He just needed to pass this year, only this was the hardest year to pass. He wondered if Shikamaru would help him. No, better not bother him. Shikamaru was naturally smart, he had never needed to study before. He would need to study this year, and the boy was so used to not studying, it would be difficult enough to get his own shit together.

He opened the doors to the toilet, as if by god’s plan, was met with the sight of Uchiha Sasuke. He was peeing in the urinal, and staring at Naruto with an odd look.

Naruto’s face tightened. Shit. “What?”

Sasuke looked away.

He tried to casually move to a urinal at the right distance from the other boy, slowly and awkwardly unzipping his pants. His zipper got stuck and by the time Sasuke was zipping his up, Naruto was only just pulling out.

Not only did Naruto have stage fright when it came to urinating, but he didn’t even need to go.

Sasuke washed his hands—a bit too slowly, Naruto thought— and exited.

As soon as he was gone Naruto let out a sigh, put his penis back in his pants and went to wash his hands. The water was cold on his hands; he rubbed some on his neck, closed his eyes and let out another longer sigh.

Fuck.

He was almost done washing his hands, when he heard the door reopen and footsteps—fast.

He could not turn to look before feeling himself grabbed and shoved against a wall. He braced himself for a hit, expecting a fist. Instead a hand curled itself under his jaw, tightly, and before Naruto had time to open his eyes in a confused manner, he felt warm and soft lips press up against his.

This was not a kiss Naruto was a familiar with. This was a hungry, devouring, fight with their mouths that Naruto was desperately trying to keep up with.

His hands made their way to Sasuke’s back, clawing and grabbing, feeling his body go into panic mode. Closing his fist and hitting the Uchiha’s shoulder, feeling Sasuke ignore it.

When Sasuke finally pulled away, it was only for air and his body was still pressed firmly against Naruto. He watched the blond under him breathe heavily, dazed and confused expression on his face, like he’d just been rescued from drowning.

Naruto didn’t know what he was expecting his body to do—maybe a punch, to pull away from Sasuke or atack him, but instead he felt himself grab himthe Uchiha by the collar and pull him back in.

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

Naruto

Naruto had only seen Uchiha Itachi a few times.

He had the classic Uchiha look, dark features, pale skin, nice jaw line and fit body. Though his hair was longer and eyes bigger, he resembled Sasuke without doubt. When they were little, around eight or nine, Itachi Uchiha would come and pick Sasuke up from school sometimes. This was before Sasuke started to be alone, well, he was always alone, but this was before Sasuke became aggressive.

Uchiha Itachi wasn’t like Sasuke; he wasn’t like young shy Sasuke or old superior Sasuke. Itachi Uchiha wore a weird and gentle type of smile on his face, the sort of smile an adult gave a child when trying to tell to them shut up. Only it was his resting face.

Naruto had always secretly preferred Sasuke, though he seemed to be the only one. Even if Itachi was more approachable than Sasuke, the blond was always unsettled by him. He was not simple like Sasuke. Sasuke was black and white while Itachi was constant shades of grey.

Itachi wore the face of a boy who had fought his demons and lost.

* * *

_Minato_

You started out the boring way, as you do, sitting in your police car and just patrolling. Your partner Shikaku always has a cup in his hand and a cigarette in the other. Shikaku is so laid back you don’t understand how he’d passed the tests to be an officer. Given, you’re pretty laid back yourself, but in a disciplined sort of way, you’re relaxed in order, whereas Shikaku just didn’t give a fuck.

Shikaku was attractive in the wilderness sense, dark, manly and rugged, whereas you’re attractive in the charismatic, beach boy look. It was quite the comparison to see you two next to one another. It suited both your personalities.

You parked out in your usual spot, inner city of Konoha; this was the most asked for position. It was supposed to be where all the excitement was. All the shit happens in the inner city, it was the place most likely to get shot. When you told people where you parked out, all the officers assume you’ve seen some wild shit. But truth be told the most reoccurring call was from a nearby apartment building about noise control, among other things.

The first time you’re called out to that apartment building, it’s a Friday night, nearing nine pm.

“I’m telling you Minato.” Shikaku says finishing a cigarette. “One day we’re going to be looking back on these days like they were the best days of our lives.”

Shikaku throws out the finished cigarette out the window of the driver’s seat; you still didn’t know why he was the one in the driver’s seat.

“I mean, I’m ready to do shit.” Shikaku said. “I’m ready to go out, to live life.”

You didn’t know how to reply to that.

“I don’t wanna just get married and have kids, and that’s it? You know?” He looks you over.

You know, you don’t understand.

“So what if you meet the one?” you hear yourself ask.

“Like soul mate?”

“Sure.”

“You believe in that?”

You shrug, why not?

“I don’t believe in that shit.” Shikaku shakes his head, and then pauses. “if they do exist though…

I doubt mine does.”

“Why?”

Shikaku paused again before breaking the gravity of the question with a joke. “Cause no woman

would be able to handle all this manhood.”

You smile, shake your head, then roll your eyes.

A sound breaks the silence.

Shikaku is the first to snatch up the radio and hold it to his ear. “Hello?”

Your attention is held onto him but all you hear from the radio is muffled talking.

“So there’s a domestic disturbance like a block from here.” Shikaku says turning the car on.

“Did they say what it was?” You asked.

“Nope.”

When you arrived at the apartment building it was dark.

“This is the apartment.” Shikaku says hearing muffled arguing from inside.

Shikaku looks towards you and motions to the door, it’s better if you lead in this situation.

Shikaku doesn’t have patience so much as tolerance. You knock on the door and the arguing stopped.

The door opened to reveal a middle aged woman, maybe in her late thirties, dressed as if she were in her early twenties.

“Thank god you’re here!” She said.

The woman looked both of you up and down and decided very much she liked what she saw.

“We were called in here for a domestic disturbance.” You speak ignoring the way she looks at you.

“I can’t believe you actually CALLED THE POLICE!” Such a loud voice.

You look to see at the edge of the room was a girl, your age, long red hair and a face of murder.

“Calm down.” Another girl put a hand on angry girls shoulder.

She wears anger like a gown, you think. The other girl is assessing the situation in a matter of fact way. Long dark hair, curvy body, peach skin, she was popular with the boys, you bet.

“Every day!” The old woman ignores the girls. “They play their damn fucking music! And look!

I’m a party girl as much as the— …I… Is… Is that cigarettes I smell…?”

Everyone’s attention turns to behind you, Shikaku looked like a five year old caught stealing. He opens his mouth, breathes in, purses his lips and started inspecting the door frame.

You give him a tired look to hide the amusement.

Police officers weren’t meant to be smoking on the job, though it was common knowledge most of them did.

“Look!” The woman turns her attention back. “These girls!” Red hair girl looks challenged while dark hair girl looks in pain. “Need to turn their damn music down! I tell them this every night!

Why do they listen to music?! Why?! I need my fourteen hour beauty sleep!”

“She should change it to sixteen hour beauty sleep.” Red hair girl mutters too loud.

“Excuse-me?!” The woman turns with ferocity. “You come into my apartment! Insult me! In front of police officers!” She turned back to you. “I want her arrested.”

“Look.” How do you handle this? “Just…” You looked towards the girls then back to the woman.

“Just, keep the music down.”

“Good one.” Shikaku nods and pats your shoulder.

Are you being mocked?

Red hair girl looks unimpressed and turns to her friend with a snort.

The woman is frozen, her heavily pencilled eyes started to turn red and puff up. “I…” She slams herself into you “I can’t keep doing this!” She cries. “Every night! It’s always something with these girls! I can’t keep doing this!”

She reaches out a claw to try and pull Shikaku in but he backs away from her long and decorated fingernails.

“You have to do something!” She wails into your chest.

You would have an easier time chasing a robber or gunning down a murderer. “What… exactly do they do?”

You’re still unsure what the exact problem was, the music?

“Okay.” red hair girl speaks. “Basically every now and then we play music, just for the hell of it, it’s never that loud, none of our other neighbours complain. But this woman moved in and suddenly you drop a pin and all hell breaks loose! This has only happened once or twice before, but she decides now she needs to call the police!”

All you can think is what a ridiculous lack of charisma.

“She threatened to hurt me!” The woman sobs out.

“THAT’S A LIE!”

The woman only sobs harder, your eyes lingered on the angry girl and her hair a bit too long.

You look back to your partner with a strained expression.

Shikaku goes from leaning on the door way in a relaxed manner to alert.

His time to shine.

“Okay, okay, everyone calm down. Here’s what’s going to happen.” Shikaku turns to the younger girls. “No more loud music, if we have to come here again… Shit is going to get serious.”

They look to each other unaffected.

“Thank you.” The woman let go of you but still has her hands digging into your arms.

You’re sure she’s trying to feel your muscles. There would be bruises there.

“Alright.” Shikaku digs his hands into his pockets. “So, is that all you needed?”

The people in the room look at one another for a moment.

“Cool.” Shikaku says. “I’ll just get everyone’s information and then we can leave.”

“Why—

Shikaku shoots you a look.

“… Oh… Right… Protocol…”

You don’t quite understand why you’re letting the woman lean on his shoulder and cry softly about the difficulties she has to go through while your supposed partner is chatting up girls. Well, one of them. Shikaku is visibly engrossed with the dark haired one; she doesn’t look like she minds, whereas her friend keeps glancing between them in annoyance.

Shikaku is taking down ‘information’ while smiling his award-winning smile, the dark haired girl smiled back, but not the usual swooned flirty smile, more like a ‘let’s see what this idiots has’ smile.

“Let’s go, Romeo.” Shikaku says when he's done.

I’m Romeo? You think.

You smile apologetically to the woman, then to the girls, dark haired girl who you will later refer to as Yoshino, smiles politely back, where as her friend, later known as Kushina, looks you up and down, then away, tightens her mouth and rolls her eyes.

“I’m telling you, I think she’s the one.” he pauses. “she’s crazy… But I like it.”

You never thought you would hear Shikaku say those words.

But two years later, you had grown closer, and even though before he and Yoshino started dating, you hadn’t known him that well, the change was still apparent in the man. He smoked less was the biggest difference. Though, you thought, watching him take another drink of his beer, he just replaced smoking with drinking. Shikaku said it was easier to control, you don’t agree personally, but it works for him.

“I’m gonna marry her.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Shikaku looks at you. “I’m gonna marry her.”

You’re silent for a second. “Have you got a ring…?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow.” You hear yourself say.

Shikaku clamps his hand on your shoulder. “Will you be my best man…?”

Neither of you say anything for a moment. You wonder if it shows on your face how touched you are. Hoping not, you just smile and say “of course.”

Shikaku grins. “You have to come out with us”

“Oh?”

“We’re going out, with her friends, my friends, to the clubs.” Shikaku explains, you both were still only twenty two. “I want you to come.”

“So I can third wheel?”

“She’ll bring her friends.”

You smile your usual smile, how can you politely tell your friend that you don’t want to watch him and his girlfriend hold each other, giggle and poke at each other like high schoolers?

“Hey.” Shikaku looks at you in a different sort of way. “She’s bringing her friends.”

So that’s how you end up at the club with your best friend and fellow police officers, Inoichi, Chouza, Shibi, etc. You don’t quite understand how Yoshino had done what she’d done, but your best friend is officially whipped. Some people say there are certain women that are born to be wives, well, you think, Shikaku was just born to be a husband.

Yoshino holds herself with a certainty like a rock, a smile carved on marble, as delicate as it looks, is still rock hard. You think, maybe, this is what attracted Shikaku. That smile with that body, being framed with a tight, short dress. That's when you see her friend, the redhead, she eyes a boy that looks her way, ready for a fight, tights and high heels, classic war armour for women.

Her friend, the other one, whispers something in the redhead’s ear. She then looks at you, you smile.

She thinks you’re a pussy.

It gets late, in your head you expected to have talked to her by now, to have wooed her. You don’t fully understand why you want her approval so much, you think maybe because you’re so used to getting it. Girl’s come to you because they see safety in you, she doesn’t. She looks at your smile and she sees an inside joke no one else knows. You think, maybe she’s not used to being smiled at.

“How long have you been a cop?” A girl asks.

She looks up at you while you’re seated; she makes herself smaller for you. That’s what men want, she thinks. You look at her smile and her tight clothes and know she’s looking for safety in you, you know even if you were to offer it no amount would ever be enough.

“Around two years.” You say. “What’s your name?”

“Ai, and you?”

“Minato.”

“Harbour.” She says the meaning of your name in irony.

She’s the fourth girl to try and talk to you. You remember before Yoshino, how Shikaku would bully you, how it was unfair you got all the girls yet wanted none, he’d say. Shikaku had said you were lucky you were good looking. He’d said it was okay if you were gay. You tried to tell him you were straight, he didn’t believe you.

Maybe you should go home with this girl to prove something.

You notice her hands rubbing on her long legs, you change your mind. You know a trap when you see one. The girl sees you eye her legs, she smiles.

Your glass is empty.

“I’ll go get us drinks.” You stand.

“Oh.” Her smile is questioning.

She’s wondering if you’ll come back.

You won’t.

The air is thickening; you wish you hadn’t worn a jacket. The heat is rising up and everyone is moving. Your friends are either talking to girls or trying to dance. You don’t remember specifically when Shikaku left you, but you remember the sound of Yoshino’s voice and suddenly he was gone. You started talking to the barkeep before he got annoyed, you tried to talk to a guy at the bar, but he hadn’t come here for you. There was a point where you looked around for

Kushina, if you were struggling with socializing you couldn’t imagine the difficulty she was having. You didn’t see her.

You’re back at the bar and ordering another drink when you feel a hand on your shoulder.

“Brother.” Shikaku leans in. “I’m leaving.”

He calls you brother to let you know he’s sorry. Sorry for what? Ditching you in the club or leaving you now? You look at him; see Yoshino waiting for him in the background. You decide to forgive him.

“Fine.”

“You cool?” Shikaku asks.

No. “Yeah.”

He pats your shoulder in a brotherly way. “I’ll see you next week.”

This party wasn’t as good as you expected; you watch Shikaku leave and wonder if Inoichi is still hitting on girls. You were all drinking and laughing before everyone went on their own way to find a mate for the night. You wonder if maybe you should go back to the girl.

You look back, she’s gone.

She’s used to men leaving.

The alcohol drives away the guilt.

* * *

 

_Kushina_

You’re jealous.

You sit at the bar with your friends and try to make your hair look prettier, even though you don’t think it could ever be pretty, long red hair. They made fun of you when you were little for it, all the boys, everyone said you would grow into it and the boys would love you for your uniqueness.

That was bullshit.

You grip your glass of alcohol a little too tight.

It’ll be empty soon.

You’re thankful your friends are still with you. That’s the main difference between genders you’ve noticed, boys don’t care. They’ll leave one another in a heartbeat for a girl. Girls stay together, to protect each other, you guess.

You glance up across the club to see a familiar blond talking to a girl, brown short hair, you wonder if that’s his type.

“He’s looking at you.”

You look to your friend, Noriko, more like Yoshino’s friend.

“Who?”

Noriko puts a hand to the side of her face, pretends she’s pulling a strand of hair away and motions to the side with her head. You glance in that direction to see a boy, light hair, dark eyes, not really your type, but good looking. He’s talking to his friend with a smile on his face, he glances in your direction. You look away. He’s still looking at you, a smirk of a smile on his face.

His smile makes you uncomfortable, but you’re flattered.

“He’s cute.” Noriko says.

But that doesn’t mean he’s good, you think. You don’t say that though, because your friends tell you you’re too hard on boys, too untrustworthy. They tell you how can you find love if you refuse to look, you say you’ll look when it’s worth looking for.

The bartender comes up to you with a drink in hand, your friend eyes it.

“For you.” The bartender motions to the boy that was looking at you.

Your friend gives you a look.

You exhale and think this might be a night of change.

He watches you drink it.

* * *

_Minato_

You decide to go home.

After hours passing, finding your friends, being ditched by them, talking to another girl, having a drink off with Inoichi and then a dance off, talking to another girl, you decide it’s time to maybe head home. You become thankful you drove here with your own car, a taxi is expensive and you can’t imagine having to wait for any of your friends to take you home.

“Hey.” You grab Inoichi’s arm. “I’m leaving.”

He looks at you with feigned interest. “You sure?”

“Yeah.”

He shrugs at you. “I’ll see you later.”

You pay for your last drink at the bar. All you can think about is your bed and rest, maybe a shower and a bad comedy. Adjusting your coat you spot a familiar redhead at a table alone, she looks tired, or maybe she’s just really wasted. With her head in her hand she looks like sitting up alone is exhausting her.

Is she okay?

You’ve barely made three steps towards her when you see someone approach her from the bar.

He’s touching her shoulder, trying to get a look at her face. She looks resilient and resistant; he’s trying to persuade her.

You don’t know exactly why you feel the need to go to her so fast, but you do. With increasingly faster steps you end up at her table, the person touching her looks up at you almost with a challenging look.

You smile. “Hey.” You look to her. “You okay?”

She looks up at you with a drained expression.

“She’s fine.” The guy smiles at you. “I’m just taking her home”

She doesn’t look like she wants to go with him.

“I think it’s better if you leave.” You hear yourself say.

Underneath her eyes you can see a hint of surprise.

“I’m her boyfriend.”

“She doesn’t have a boyfriend.”

“How would you know?” He asks.

“I’m her friend.”

You’re not really her friend; at least she doesn’t consider you her friend. You know this. But she’s only just sober and between you and him, she’s safer with you.

“Look.” He inches closer to you. “I don’t know who the fuck you are, bro, but I was with her first. Find some other bitch.”

You inch closer to him with a smile on your face that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. You feel your heart beat faster and all you can think is where on his body you will hit first. But you feel something grab softly at your forearm. You look back to her and she’s grabbed you, if it wasn’t for whatever was in her drink she’d probably be grabbing you harder, maybe in her head she is.

“Take me home.”

She breathes it out so softly and with such struggle that you’re the only one who catches it. Your heart slows down and feels heavy, like it’s going to drop to your stomach.

Your eyes are on her and when they return to the guy, he’s gotten the message.

You carried her out in your arms. The cold air had hit you like a punch. You watched the skin on her arms prickle up in the cold, her smooth face tense up, trying to open her eyes but giving up after the second try. She let you hold her like that, and you wondered if she still thought you were a pussy.

You wondered if she’d ever been held like that before.

When she was in your backseat, she lay down as if she’d been put to bed. You tried to turn your radio down enough so it wouldn’t wake her, there were barely any good songs on but you keep it on to fill the silence.

You don’t realise how tired you are until you stop at a red light and close your eyes.

“Are you taking me home?”

Her voice is groggy and forced.

You look at the backseat to see her face half buried in the seat. Tired eyes look up at you. Not the tired you got from being sleepy, the sort of tired you got from giving up a fight.

“Where else would I be taking you?” You turn back to the road.

The red light turns green.

Shikaku had forced you two to visit her apartment so many times on ‘check up’s. AKA nothing else was happening, and Shikaku wanted a quick lay. Somehow Yoshino had thought it was romantic, or maybe she was just as horny as he was. Either way you had ended up in the living room either watching TV or awkwardly avoiding small talk with this redhead. It was thanks to that that you knew the exact way to her apartment, maybe you should thank Shikaku after this, you think.

You glance back at her; she looks like she wants to say something, avoids your eyes.

A minute passes and you assume the conversation has ended, the radio commercials are the only thing making sound when the droplets of rain begin. The wind shield wipers start to move and in the back you hear her shuffling. You look in the rear view mirror to see she’s laying more comfortable in the backseat.

“I thought you would be going home with another girl.” her voice almost croaks from not being used.

You pause for a second, “What made you think that?”

She thinks it’s a stupid question.

You smile. “Besides I was planning to go home with the most beautiful girl, and I did.”

You turn back just in time to see her face crinkle like she’d taken a bite out of a lemon, you laugh.

Her face softens until it’s only her eyebrows crinkled and a soft pink flush has risen to her cheeks.

She looks annoyed more at her reaction than what you’ve said.

The car ride becomes light hearted and you feel her becoming comfortable.

“Your place or mine?” She says.

“Your place.”

She twists her legs to make herself more comfortable and buries her hands under her chest.

“Do you remember what happened?” You hear yourself ask.

She doesn’t say anything for a second. “I had a drink.”

She was drugged.

Your mouth tenses up thinking what would have happened if you hadn’t had come, you know she’s thinking the same thing and the light air is gone. She feels sick. She buries her face in the car seat.

When the car stops and engine cuts in front of her apartment building, you ignore your disappointment. This was maybe the first time you and her had proper time alone. You look at the backseat to see her still lying down, for a second you think you see a glint of disappointment in her eyes. You make eye contact and suddenly she’s trying to sit up, her arms shake a little when she supports herself. Straight away you unbuckle yourself, get out of the car and open the door for her.

You put out your arm but she pushes it away weakly.

She’s not used to accepting help.

She takes her high heels off before standing up, so she can walk better.

When she exits the car you close the door and suddenly aren’t sure what to do next.

You’re standing in front of your car door, watching her clumsy walking, biting your lips and fidgeting with your hands inside your jacket pockets. Suddenly you see her stumble a little on the path walk, pause, and then turn to you.

She looks at you as if in surrender. “Can you help me to my apartment?”

You all but run to her.

Her arm goes over your shoulder and you’re supporting her, you can’t help to think it would be easier and faster to carry her. But then again maybe it’s better if it takes longer.

This is the closest you’ve been to her, ignoring how you carried her to your car. You pretend you don’t see the glance she does to your face and your body. You try to hide a smile. Though you’ve gotten attention from girls before for your physique, none have quite made you feel this proud.

It’s awkward and your feet bump into each other a few times, your hand goes around her waist and you hold onto the wrist of the arm around your neck.

“You know Shikaku and Yoshino are going to get married?”

You pause for a second before opening the door to the apartment building.

“Yes.” You answer.

“How do you know?” She asks as if personally offended.

“He told me.”

“Why?”

“He wants me to be the best man.” You say as if obvious. “How do you know?”

“He wanted me to help buy the ring.” She says untying her arm from your neck.

She grabs your arm instead to use as support.

“What are you going to do when Yoshino moves out?” You ask trying to keep conversation alive.

This was probably the first time Kushina was speaking to you without being condescending or defensive.

“I don’t know.” She says. “Live on my own; I don’t even need a roommate at this point. I just got used to living with her.”

“What do you do?”

She looks up at you.

“For work.” He explains.

“Oh.” She pauses. “I’m a cleaner … at a motel.”

You don’t say anything.

“But I’m studying to be a nurse!”

You can’t imagine a nurse with her temperament or sass, but you say nothing.

“What about you?” She speaks defensively. “Why did you become a police officer? Just for the girls?”

You look at her questioning, why does she keep assuming you’re a ladies man? Before you can reply both of you have reached the elevator. The silence returns as she presses the button for it to open. For a second you wonder if you’re supposed to leave her now, but she drags you by the arm when she walks in.

“I wanted to help people.” You say after she presses the button to her floor.

She looks at you with surprise.

“That’s why I wanted to become a police officer.” You continue. “To help people.”

She pauses for a bit, as if torn between replies.

“Is that why you became a nurse?” You hear yourself ask.

“I’m not smart enough to become a doctor or lawyer, and nurse is the next best paying thing”

She’s honest.

The elevator makes a noise and the door opens.

Once again you’re dragged out by her and you walk down the hall, your heart beats a little faster at the thought that she may drag you into her apartment too. You bite your lip, you couldn’t even if she did, she’s too drunk… Drugs were probably still in her system… You wouldn’t take advantage. It was not your nature.

The walking slows down and suddenly you’re both standing in front of a familiar looking door.

She let’s go of your arm and walks to her door, before pulling out her key she turns to you and your stomach does a back flip.

“You lied.”

“What?”

“About being a police officer… To help people… You lied.”

He doesn’t have time to defend himself when she continues.

“I’ve never met a cop that’s helped me.”

Apart from me, you want to say.

“Why did you become a cop?” She asks again.

You want to ask her why it matters, but you don’t want to anger her. You look into her eyes for a second before looking away; you search inside your mind to find a way to reword what you said before so she understands.

You look back down to her; meet her eyes and all you can think is: The women in her life don’t have a good history with men.

“I meant what I said…” You hear yourself speak. “I just want to help people.”

Because you’re not the only one who’s suffered, you want to add.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She asks after an awkward silence.

Your eyes meet hers again and you realise you were staring at her hair.

“You’re always looking at me like that…” She continues slightly annoyed. “The first time you came to our apartment too… You’re always looking at my hair.”

“I like it.” You reply quietly.

She wasn’t expecting that, she pauses “What…?”

“It’s beautiful.”

“It’s stupid.” She says as if by habit.

“It’s beautiful.” you pause. “… and crazy… it suits you.”

She stops and looks at you whole. “…You like crazy girls?”

Your eyes snap from her hair to her face and you reply very quietly. “… I love crazy girls.”

* * *

 


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

 

Naruto

One time when they were both twelve, they got into a fight so violent Sasuke didn’t come to school for two days. And when he did his arm was bandaged. They had been shoving each other, as twelve year olds do. Long story short, there had been a window, broken glass, and Sasuke had needed stiches in his right arm.

It wasn’t crazy. The wound wasn’t so bad that Sasuke was emotionally and physically scarred for the rest of his life. In fact Sasuke was almost proud of the battle scar.

But when Sasuke had come back to school with a bandage, Naruto didn’t fully understand why he felt like crying.

Nor did he understand why, five years later, he was remembering the incident.

He guessed when you fucked your life long best frenemy, you start to really think back to the moments that impacted.

Then again, he _was_ sick. When you’re in bed capable of barely any movement, you really start to ponder at your life. It had already passed the first week of school, and he had missed pretty much all of it. Every day one of his friends would drop by his house to give him another load of homework. It was piling up and all Naruto could do was cough, sneeze and stare at it with tears and snot soaking into his pillow.

He had gotten sick two days after he and Sasuke had had sex. His face flushed at the memory. Sasuke bent over toilet stall wall. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He had still had the hickeys and marks on his body when he went to the doctor, and in a fit of panic had blurted out he’d had unprotected gay sex. The doctor had been unimpressed, giving him some cough medicine and a handful of condoms.

Sasuke had been the one to initiate _it_ , and surprisingly, after his initial wave of surprise, Naruto had reacted pretty encouragingly. I mean, it was just, bodily instinct, after all.

He ran a hand through his hair, trying to get the thoughts out of his mind. So, what? It wasn’t a big deal. He had had sex with girls before. To be fair, he had never really been close with them. Naruto pouted to himself; after all, he had never had a girlfriend.

But sex was just sex. He blushed. What now?

Naruto glanced to the pile of homework and notes stacked up on his desk. He doubted any one of his friends had even done them.  He was too sick to do anything worth doing. What did he usually do in these types of situation?

Ah, _right_.

Flashbacks of middle school came to his mind. The last time he’d gotten sick, he had been fifteen. And he had spent nearly all of the week _masturbating_.

He had been a virgin back then, both in mind, heart, and body. He liked to think he had matured past his fifteen year old self. After all, he was eighteen now—almost. He was pretty much a man.

The blond shifted to his side.

Then again, no one was home.

His hands travelled down to his pants, unzipping. He closed his eyes, eyebrows furrowed, feeling himself in his hands. Rubbing. Okay, there was a girl, big breasts, curvy, long hair… big eyes. Dark. He liked dark eyes? Guess so.

She put her wet mouth to the tip of his cock, circling the edge with her tongue, and then swallowing whole.

Her head bobbed up and down between his knees, sucking.

He imagined putting a hand through her hair, pushing and pulling as she moved.

 _Fuck_.

This wasn’t working.

 ** _No_** , Naruto thought. It’s too late to give up now! He’d already started.

Her mouth was around his dick, he imagined her breasts. Big and soft, bouncing as she moved.

 _Knock_.

“Naruto?”

His eyes opened.

 _Knock. Knock._ “Naruto?”

“What?!” He called, scrambling to cover himself with his sheets.

“Are you okay?!” Minato’s voice was suspicious.

“Uh… Yeah!”

The door opened, revealing a middle aged man with blond hair verging to grey. “Is everything okay?”

 “Yeah.” Naruto said.

Minato gave him a look. “…Are you sure you’re okay? You look really red in the face…”

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck and forced out a cough. “I’m sick, so…”

“Ah, right. Sorry. I just came to tell you I got a call from your uncle.”

Naruto’s eyes lit up. “Jiraiya?!”

“Yes. His publisher quit and he’s having trouble finding someone to publish his stories, so he’s trying to cut back on the money and needs somewhere to stay. He’s coming to stay with us a bit later on. Alright?”

His uncle wrote erotica.

Naruto grinned, face still flushed. “Yeah. Cool. For how long?”

Minato smiled. “Not sure. Probably around a week or so.”

So, Jiraiya would either be staying with them for a week or a year.

“Alright.” He took one last look at the room. “Make sure to stay in bed. Also, there’s some ramen in the kitchen, for dinner. Proper made ramen, not the two minute kind.”

“Ah,” Naruto said. “Cool. Thanks.”

Minato left, leaving Naruto grinning. Suddenly it felt like Naruto was ten and being taken to the fair by his pervert uncle all over again. And by pervert uncle he meant, his uncle was a pervert towards women and stuff… Not pervert to him. His uncle was a straight _non-paedophile_. He was still a good uncle. And by pervert towards _women_ , he didn’t mean his uncle was a _rapist_ , just… really horny and sometimes inappropriate… In the most respectful way, of course. Given, his uncle did end up trying to use him as bait for women at the fair, but still, it had been fun… Once again in the _non-rapist_ way.

After Minato closed the door, Naruto curled up in bed, closing his eyes again. His hand made its way back to his crotch.

* * *

 

When Naruto came back to school the next week, he had tissues in his right hand and a prayer in his heart. He hadn’t done any of the homework or given assignments, and he looked like shit.

“Woah.” Kiba almost laughed when he saw Naruto.

“Yeah, yeah, I look shit cause I’m sick, what’s your excuse?” Naruto’s voice was deeper and more hoarse than usual.

Kiba laughed. “Fuck, what’s got your panties in a twist? You should be grateful you missed out on a week of school!”

Naruto sat down next to him and looked at his friends with under eyes circles, puffy eyes and reddened cheeks. “It’s not exactly like I’ve been on vacation.”

“Your voice is so croaky.” Shikamaru said.

“Your face is so ugly” Naruto’s voice cracked half way through triggering a laugh from his friends.

 “You know Naruto, if you’re really that sick you should’ve just stayed home.”

The boys turned around to face their homeroom teacher, Hatake Kakashi walking into class, late.

Kakashi had actually been their teacher in primary school, when they were twelve. Naruto remembered all the single mums trying to get a parent teacher interview with him. They would always be waiting around his office after school with ‘ _concerns about their child_ ’.

I mean, Naruto understood the appeal; Kakashi was fit for his age, messy grey hair and dark eyes. If his hair was darker he could’ve even passed for an Uchiha.

It was only just recently that Kakashi had decided to start teaching high school students. In fact, Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura had been Kakashi’s most common students and there was a short period where they were almost like a team. Kakashi was the only teacher who looked proud when Naruto and Sasuke got into a fight without breaking each other’s bones.

But still, Naruto was really grateful, it was so much better than having Anko as his homeroom teacher. Naruto had flashbacks of the crazed woman throwing markers at him every time he got an answer wrong. Her aim was horrible and his friends ended up sitting away from him, every time she threw a marker at Naruto it ended up hitting Shino or Shikamaru. One time it hit Kiba, and he and Naruto almost got into a punch on.

“I’ve been at home for a week.” Naruto said.

“You’re late.” Sakura said to her teacher.

Kakashi ignored her. He took his seat at the front of the class and glanced around. “Who’s missing?”

“Sasuke’s probably somewhere fucking Suigetsu.” Kiba muttered.

Images of Sasuke bending Suigetsu over a table in an empty class room ran through Naruto’s mind and he felt like vomiting again. The others must’ve been thinking the same thing because they all looked at Kiba with a cringe.

Even Sakura turned to give the Inuzuka a glare.

Shikamaru sniggered “Didn’t Suigetsu hit on you one time?”

Kiba turned bright red “ _SHUT UP_! It’s not my fault I look like this! **_ONE TIME!”_** His voice quieted.“…I wish it worked like that on girls…”

“Gay guys have barely any standards, apparently.” Shikamaru snickered.

“Fuck off.” Kiba muttered.

Naruto said nothing.

As if summoned, Suigetsu walked through the class room door, all but strutting.  When he noticed the crowd staring at him, he stopped. “What?!”

The class went back to their former conversations.

“And your friend?” Kakashi asked.

“Hm?”

“The Uchiha.”

“Ah,” Suigetsu said, pausing. “He’ll be here shortly— _woah_! You look like shit!” Suigetsu laughed, eyes falling on Naruto. “What’s wrong with you? Do you have a disease?!”

Naruto ignored his friends laughing. “I’m sick.”

* * *

 

Naruto didn’t participate in sports.

It had been a wrestle trying to get his teacher, Gai, to let him off. But eventually he had persuaded him. It was the last class of the day and it was the only one he had with Sasuke that day. Naruto hadn’t seen Sasuke do anything to do with sports for years. He did have a good body for someone who specialized in theoretical work, though.

Naruto remembered in the earlier years of school Naruto and Sasuke had been the most competitive in sports. Apart from the few exceptions, such as Lee or Kiba. Although he and Sasuke had always been the most physically capable. In his opinion.

“What are you staring at?” Sakura sat on the bench Naruto leant on.

He let out a sick cough to fix his voice. “Hey.”

Haruno Sakura was not unpopular with the boys, her smooth peach skin, thin pink hair and bright green eyes definitely set her apart. With a heart shaped face and slim body, though lacking what was desired on the chest and hips, she still had appeal in the sort of slim model sense.

Naruto himself had had a crush on Sakura when he was young, around the age of twelve or so. Some people rumoured that Sasuke and Naruto’s entire relationship started because of that crush. Which, of course, wasn’t true. Naruto didn’t really even like her anymore, at least not like that.

“What are you staring at?” Sakura repeated lightly.

“Uh, nothn’.”

Sakura looked in the direction he had been staring, only to see Uchiha Sasuke sitting on a bench. He was resting, legs apart and staring casually at his water bottle as Juugo slowly explained something to him.

Sakura’s eyes travelled back to the blond. “How are you?”

Gai had decided to give his students some freedom this lesson, most people were resting or trying to take it easy. There were only a select few stupid enough to be going crazy on the first day of school. Naruto sat on the ground, leaning back on the bench behind him.

“Naruto?”

“I’m alright.” He said. “Just sick.”

“I can tell.” She said putting a hand to his forehead, watching his face wrinkle and pull away. “You’re hot.”

Naruto grinned.

She slapping him in the arm and rolled her eyes. “Shut up.”

In the distance Naruto could see Hinata walking laps. She looked so tender, he thought, even when she was just walking.

“Hey.” Sakura turned to Naruto. “I meant to ask you ages ago, what happened in the bathroom?”

Naruto’s heart started to race. “Huh?”

“On the first day of school.” Sakura continued “You left to go to the bathroom, but you never came back. Did something happen?”

“Oh.” He paused. “I just… felt really sick. I think my flu was staring to come in.”  

“I just wanted to know if anything unusual happened…” Sakura said. “Sasuke left for the bathroom not long after you…” She muttered.

Naruto furrowed his brows. They weren’t even friends.

“No, not really.” He said.

“You didn’t see him?” Sakura asked. “He didn’t come back for a while after you. I was wondering if maybe you got into a fight.”

“No.”

“Oh.” Sakura said. “You didn’t see him?”

“…No.” He lied.

She looked like she was about to say something else, when he let out another few coughs and a sneeze.

After a moment of silence she asked “do you take cough medicine?”

“Yeah.” Naruto said wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

Naruto bent over to cough again and when he came back up Sakura was staring at him with wide eyes.

“What?” Naruto asked.

“Is… _Is that a hickey_?” She whispered.

Naruto looked at her with wide eyes. “Huh?”

Her mouth gaped “You have a _hickey_?!” This time her voice was louder.

“Wh— What?! No!” Naruto started covering his neck, turning red.

“ _There_! You do!”

Sakura moved Naruto’s hands and motioned to the bottom of his neck, near his collar bone was a fading, but visible, mark.

“You have a _hickey_!” Sakura repeated in shock.

“ _What_?!” A loud voice boomed behind them.

Both high schoolers turned to see their fellow student, Kiba.

“Naruto HAS A _GIRLFRIEND_?!”

“SHUT UP!” Naruto’s voice was weak from sickness, unable to give the roar it needed.

Everyone was looking at them now. The brunet was always trying to act up around girls, especially Sakura or Ino. The asshole was doing this shit on purpose.

“Someone gave Naruto a hickey!” Kiba cooed as the entire class was looking at them.

Naruto wanted to sink into the earth all over again.

“Naruto’s got a _girlfriend_ ” Kiba laughed.

“Shut up!” He croaked.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Ino came up to them.

“Naruto has a girlfriend!”

“What?!”

“Yeah—she gave him a hickey.”

 “I don’t!” Naruto said. “Fuck off!”

“So who gave you that hickey?” Kiba asked

Naruto covered his neck. If he wasn’t so sick he would’ve already put his hands on the Inuzuka, then again, if he wasn’t so sick Kiba probably wouldn’t have made a scene like this. But no, he was now vulnerable and had to sit while everyone gawked at _Uzumaki Naruto_ maybe having a sex life.

“Let me see!” Ino said.

“No!” Naruto said. “Go away!”

Hinata was approaching them, looking more than a little perplexed.

“So, where’d you get it?” Sakura asked, growing quiet.

“Hooker?” Kiba scoffed.

“I—NO—” Naruto panicked. “IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT I DO WITH MY BODY! JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN’T GET LAID DOESN’T MEAN OTHER PEOPLE CAN’T!” His throat tightened with every word. This would come back to haunt him.

Kiba turned bright red. “W—SHUT UP! I CAN GET LAID ASSHOLE!”

“BOYS!”

Both students turned to see their teacher with his hands on his hips. “Hurry up and get moving! What are you doing?!”

Kiba bit his lips—like a child. “Nothing! Coming!”

Sakura and Ino watched the brunet jog off.

“So you don’t have a girlfriend?” Sakura whispered.

Naruto blushed. “No.”

Ino slapped Sakura’s arm playfully, laughing. “Okay, stop. You’re making him blush. He probably gave it to himself with a vacuum.”

* * *

 

Shikamaru

Shikamaru waited after school at the bus stop, sitting on the roofed bench with a cigarette in his mouth.

“You know smoking’s bad for you!”

He turned to see a familiar blonde sitting down next to him.

“Are you going to keep that up forever?” Ino asked.

Shikamaru finished his cigarette and threw it on the concrete.

Ino watched him breathe out the last air of smoke and for a second her expression become serious and sad. She remembered why he had started smoking in the first place. She remembered how Shikamaru used to not be able to stand it as much as her. The smoke made his eyes water, he used to say. Now he could go through a packet a day if he needed to.

“I hate when you smoke.” it lacked the aggressive tone she usually had scolding him.

He looked to her. “…Sorry."

She sighed and snapped out of it.

Ino looked away from him and leant back in the seat. “I don’t think Asuma ever wanted you to smoke, you know.”

“He left me his lighter.”

Her mouth pinched up and he could tell she didn’t like talking about him. “I don’t think it was for you to smoke, _moron._ ”

He looked at her form next to his. Sometimes he looked at Ino and wished he could love her the way she needed to be loved, that she could excite him the way he needed to be excited. They were so perfect on paper, he thought. Yet all he saw when he looked at her was a sister.

“If Asuma came back to life and told you to stop smoking, what would you do?” She turned to him with big eyes.

“I’d stop.”

“And if I told you to stop?”

“I’d roll my eyes.”

She let out a groan to lighten the mood. “ _Honestly._ Everyone think’s your so damn smart! Mr IQ over 200 my ass!”

He had to smile at that.

For a moment they just sat there quietly.

“What are you thinking about?”

She bit the inside of her cheek and answered quietly. “Asuma.”

Asuma.

You know, Shikamaru never used to like Sasuke Uchiha. There was a point in his life where Shikamaru was sure he even hated the Uchiha. So pretentious, he was smart, sure, but so was Shikamaru. Shikamaru still wasn’t as arrogant as him. Uchihas, he used to think… The whole family; full of arrogant people. Even his older brother had been arrogant, but at least he wasn’t so damn smug about it.

Sasuke Uchiha was the only one that made Shikamaru almost put in actual effort in a test, just to see his face when he found out he didn’t get the highest score. But then Shikamaru had opened the test up and thought no asshole was worth it.

But then Asuma died.

And then Itachi died.

There’s a special club for those who lose loved ones, Shikamaru thought.

It had been unrelated.

Itachi had died nine weeks after Asuma had.

Ino, Chouji and Shikamaru had been Asuma’s favourite students in primary. They often had private homework classes after school with him; he was really the only one that could make Shikamaru work. He was the only one that saw this kid wasn’t stupid, just lazy.

It was an odd thing to try and describe in full the sort of relationship Asuma had with his three students, but in many ways he was like a second father to them. He was probably the first person that made Shikamaru think that maybe he shouldn’t just settle.

He had also ended up being their high school teacher for a few years. Ino had cried for three days when he died, and when she came back to school Shikamaru never saw her cry again. Shikamaru hadn’t been there for Chouji, he didn’t know how Chouji mourned but he knew when the boy came back to school there was something different about him, an air of maturity, as if he was finally letting go of his childhood and embracing manhood.

Asuma had died in a robbery gone wrong, that’s what he heard. He just woke up in the middle of the night with his father going to the hospital. His mother had been crying.

Kurenai was supposed to have married him. At the funeral she’d taken Shikamaru’s hand and given him the lighter. He didn’t fully understand why Asuma had wanted him to have it, but he took it.

Then he started smoking.

Asuma always smoked.

Even when they were in primary, he’d smoke in front them, they were twelve, always after class. More than once he’d bribed them into not telling the principal. When Asuma started teaching high school it was every day you would find him between classing pulling out a cigarette.

He couldn’t do it at home, he’d say, Kurenai didn’t like it.

Shikamaru didn’t hate Sasuke anymore.

Shikamaru had often heard the phrase, _we hate what we don’t understand_ , he had never really thought about it before.

Losing Asuma had been like losing an uncle or second father. He couldn’t imagine how it had been for Sasuke when he lost his own brother.

Sasuke and he had actually had a sort of understanding since then, an unspoken agreement. Shikamaru didn’t really understand the benefit it did either of them, but there was a recognition between them. Like between two soldiers who fought in a war, although never friends, meet again twenty years later, no hellos or how are you, only a look. A nod of acknowledgment. We survived.

“What are you thinking about?” Ino asked.

He paused. “Do you still have feelings for Sasuke?”

 She looked taken aback. “W—Where did that came from?”

He shrugged and resisted the urge to pull out another cigarette.

Her lips pursed. “Why do you care?”

“I don’t,” He said. “Just wondering.”

She looked at him for a second. “I don’t know.” Ino paused. “Maybe.”

Shikamaru wondered if her feelings had become real for the Uchiha, or if she was still just chasing Sakura.

Before he could continue he heard the familiar sound of a bus engine pulling up.

It was the late bus; all the other students had taken the bus that left straight when school ended. Ino had needed to hand in some work so she stayed behind. The only other people on the bus were some old people and a few teenagers from differing schools.

The blonde stood up, took a step on the bus and looked back to her friend who was still sitting on the bench.

“You coming?”

Shikamaru smiled lazily. “No, I’m not waiting for the bus. I’m waiting for someone.”

* * *

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

 

_Itachi_

_Knock_.

Itachi peeked from under his arm, he looked to see between the opened door and door frame was his twelve year old brother. Sasuke looked monotone as usual. He eyed Itachi as a way of permission. When Itachi turned his head back into the pillow, Sasuke took it as affirmative.

Itachi lay on his side, facing the wall. Sasuke walked to his brother’s bed and shoved Itachi’s thigh, the older boy sighed then slowly moved closer to the wall leaving room on the bed.

Sasuke crawled next to Itachi, never touching, and lay on his back with hands curled together on his stomach, like he were seeing a therapist.

“Where have you been?” Sasuke asked.

“Out.”

“Where?”

“With friends. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?” His tone was playful.

Sasuke’s brows furrowed. “You were gone for half a month.”

“Yes.” Itachi said. “With friends…”

“Were you with Shisui?”

Itachi sighed. “No.”

Sasuke’s lips pressed together but he said nothing.

This was Itachi’s last year at high school, he was going to graduate. He wasn’t supposed to be graduating this year but he was so smart apparently they bumped him up. Sasuke remembered the pride that had swollen up in their father’s chest when he had found out, his face poker as usual, but unable to conceal haughtiness in his eyes. There was a part of Sasuke that was tempted to work hard so maybe he could be bumped up too, but he had given up chasing up to his brother, it never really worked.

“I heard you went to the hospital.” Itachi said.

Sasuke looked surprised for a moment but then said. “Yeah… A few days ago”

It was the first and only thing Itachi had said when he had returned in the middle of the night and Fugaku was done yelling at him. _Where’s Sasuke?_

To tell the truth, he had been gone for half a month and although he did miss his education, the part that really angered Fugaku was the lie he would have to tell the school, a funeral maybe, the death of his great aunt. Itachi was curious to see what bullshit his father would come up with to hide the fact he had left for half a month to get wasted and/or do drugs in some corner of the inner city.

“What happened?” Itachi asked his brother.

“Fight.”

“That Naruto kid?”

“Hn.”

Itachi turned around to face his brother and looked at Sasuke’s bandaged arm. The older boy picked it up by the wrist and inspected the bandaging.

“He fractured your arm?”

Sasuke looked insulted. “No!” As if he would let that moron do something like that, “It’s _cut._ ”

Itachi looked at Sasuke oddly.

“Pushing me.” Sasuke confirmed. “He pushed me into a window.”

Itachi put the arm down, looked to Sasuke and spoke in an uncharacteristically hushed tone. “He better look worse.”

Sasuke smirked. “He will.”

Itachi looked content with that answer. He turned in bed so he and Sasuke were both on their backs staring at the ceiling.

“Where did you go?” Sasuke asked again.

Itachi was quiet for a second. “Promise not to tell dad?”

Sasuke was torn between laughing and scoffing. “Cause he talks to me so much?”

Itachi couldn’t help but laugh, a very soft and short laugh, because Uchiha’s did not laugh outrageously and loud. Images of Fugaku trying to spread out a picnic blanket were enough to make anyone laugh.

“Yeah, okay.” Itachi said with a grin. “I was out with Deidara and Kisame.”

“You don’t even like them.”

Itachi shrugged. They probably didn’t like _him_.

“What about all the work you missed in school?” Sasuke said. “Dad’s going to be pissed if you start failing.”

“Is that hope I hear in your voice, lil bro…?”

“No!” It came out a bit too fast.

Itachi smirked, “liar.”

Itachi put his hands under his head. He didn’t want to tell Sasuke he would easily be able to catch up on the work. But something in Itachi thought his little brother already knew, maybe he should fail purposely just to life his brothers esteem a bit, no, Fugaku would squash it back down twice as bad. He turned to see Sasuke staring at the ceiling in his own thoughts.

“Hey?” Itachi said.

Sasuke looked to him.

“What are you going to do when you finish high school?”

The little Uchiha looked to his brother oddly “Shouldn’t I be asking you that…?”

“I’m asking you.”

Sasuke thought for a few moments then in a very laidback tone said “I don’t know.”

“Oh?”

Sasuke shrugged then watched Itachi turn back to the ceiling. Right answer.

* * *

 

Naruto

“Naruto, are you listening?”

“ _Yes_!”

He was still sick, sort of.

At this point it was only really a cough and a sweat.

The doctor had said he would be completely back to normal within one or two days. Even his voice was starting to lose its rasp. Sakura had said it was too bad, when Naruto was sick his voice had deepened and sounded more masculine. But now it was going back to its normal pitch.

“You need to start putting more effort into your school work” Kurenai looked up at him through long eyelashes.

She was his math teacher... One of his worst subjects. They’d just had math and Kurenai had decided to keep him in after class to have a little chat with him.

He sighed, “I know.”

It was so _hard_ , though! And Naruto was all about not giving up, and being the best he could be, and succeeding, and all that shit. But, fuck…

“Have you thought about getting a tutor?” Kurenai asked.

Naruto made a face like a shrivelled fruit.

Kurenai sighed and flicked through their practise test, Naruto had gotten less than ten per cent. The only one who got lower than him was Shikamaru, who got zero per cent. But Kurenai didn’t bother with him because everyone knew Shikamaru would make it up in the actual exam, probably scoring a hundred per cent… Pfft.

“There are some extra classes after school you can attend” Kurenai said “If not either learn to study harder or get a tutor. Maybe one of your friends can help you. You hang around Sakura a lot. She’s good at math.”

That might be an option… Sakura _was_ one of his closest friends.

He just hoped she wouldn’t start blabbering about Sasuke again. Naruto bit his lip. The truth was he sort of wanted to tell her they’d had sex… She was a good friend. She was good at that sorta stuff too, after all the years advising Ino through her relationships and boy troubles. If he had to tell anyone he would tell Sakura… But then again, she did have feelings for Sasuke? Didn’t she?

To tell the truth he’d been avoiding Sasuke for a while, since he was sick. Naruto wondered if the others had noticed it, if they had then Sasuke would definitely have.

 _Of course_ Sasuke would have noticed.

 _He’s **Sasuke**_.

Naruto basically ran to hide in a locker every time the Uchiha walked past him in the hallway. But he was sick, there was a lot he needed to deal with, with the bastard and he couldn’t do it in this state. Given, he was a lot healthier now… He couldn’t take any risks. Besides, no matter how little he wanted to admit it there was a part of him that just didn’t want Sasuke to see Naruto looking like this.

“Naruto?”

“Huh?”

Kurenai looked impatient, “Did you hear me?”

“Yeah, yeah!” Naruto said. “Sakura, tutor, failing grades.”

Kurenai looked annoyed “ _Naruto_. You’re going to fail this year if you keep going like this. I’m doing this because I’m worried for you.”

He felt a pang of guilt, “I know! I’ll start putting more effort in! Believe in me! Okay?”

Her face softened and after a moment she just sighed, “You can go now.”

He pretended to not notice the disappointment as he left.

* * *

 

Naruto wasn’t sick enough to skip sports this time, especially not with Gai.

Their last activity was running. Tracks. The blond tried to be a good sport and pretend like he was a fine, and he was, really. But every now and then he would run a little too hard or pull something the wrong way. He hated being sick. One more day, Naruto thought, just one more day and he would be completely healthy again.

Naruto had only finished his second lap when he slowed down near a bench to find his friends casually resting. Sai and Shikamaru sat on the bench while Kiba sat on the ground, using the bench to lean on. Said bench was between the trees far off the track and would probably be breaking soon, which was probably why Kiba was on the ground.

Naruto put his hands on his bent knees, panting, “how the hell did you guys finish so fast?!”

“We didn’t.” Shikamaru said in a monotone. “I did half a lap then came here. These two just joined me.”

“I was working out in the gym all last night, my body needs a break.” Kiba lied.

“I just want to feel a part of something.” Sai said.

“How haven’t you got caught?” Naruto squatted.

“Gai’s been really busy trying to motivate Juugo.” Shikamaru smiled. “He hasn’t noticed us.”

All the boys turned to the other end of the tracks. Gai was making excessive hand motions and yelling things about ‘ _youth’_ and ‘ _power’_ to poor Juugo, who just sat cross legged on the ground and kept trying to relax. Sasuke stood behind them both, mouth pressed together, unsure what to do about this.

Naruto grinned. “Why did Juugo even decide to do this class?”

“Who knows?” Shikamaru snickered. “It’s great to watch.”

Kiba’s face tightened. “Ugh, has anyone else noticed how much of an asshole Sasuke’s been lately?”

Naruto turned back to his friends.

“Oh?” Shikamaru said. “Is that new?”

“No, but now he’s even more of an asshole!” Kiba said. “I don’t know why all the girls love him. I wish you two could go back to fighting all the time.” Kiba looked to Naruto. “I liked seeing him get punched.”

“Then why don’t you go fight him?” Shikamaru said. “Scared?”

Uchiha Sasuke wasn’t exactly a pussy, Naruto admitted.

“Shut up!” Kiba replied. “He’s not even worth my time!”

Naruto and Kiba had fought in primary school too, though they had made up though. Kiba wasn’t worth hating for long. Even now they had moments of fire between them. Kiba was just _too much_ … Sure, Naruto was a lot too… But Naruto was positive and Kiba was negative. The blond didn’t know how else to describe it. Naruto saw the good and Kiba saw the bad. Naruto acted like an idiot, Kiba _was_ an idiot. But Kiba was also his friend...

“It’s just cause he’s got money.” Kiba continued.

“We’ve all got money.” Shikamaru knew not to take him seriously.

“Yeah, but he’s got more than us!” Kiba defended “His dad’s rich and shit. He comes from a famous family or whatever bullshit. Why does he even do sports?”

“You’re just saying that cause you don’t have a dad.” Sai said.

 “Fuck off.”

Father’s had stopped being a sensitive subject for Kiba at the age of thirteen.

“I’m just saying,” Kiba continued. “He’s become even more of an asshole now, and I’m getting tired of it…” He turned to Naruto. “Do you think I could beat him?”

“No.”

The first thing Naruto processed was Shikamaru’s burst of laughter, then Sai’s sly grin and last of all Kiba’s shocked and insulted yell.

“I—W—Waddaya mean?!” Kiba spluttered.

Naruto grinned and shrugged. “Have a go. I won’t stop ya”

Kiba fought to keep the pout of his face, but was still visibly offended.

“ _BOYS_!”

They all turned to see Gai with his hands on his hips, staring at them.

“Fuck.”

“You’re meant to be running laps!” He yeled.

Sai stood up, followed by Naruto and then Kiba.

 “SHIKA-MA-RU!” Gai called “ _Don’t make me come over there_!”

Shikamaru lazily rouse.

“Why did **_you_** even do PE?” Kiba asked as they walked, “ _Juugo_ does more than you.”

* * *

 

It was after another lap that Naruto felt his throat truly dry up and tighten. He was desperate to finish the required laps. Sasuke had already finished. There was a part of Naruto that thought maybe Sasuke had pushed himself to finish earlier just to beat Naruto. But then again, Naruto thought, that was exactly the paranoia that led to Sasuke and Naruto’s fights. Maybe not everything meant something…Yet somehow with Sasuke it always did… He added.

Naruto allowed his body to slow down and squatted to catch his breath. He wondered how hard it would be to stand up. The boy had become so unfit over recent years… Naruto made a mental note to start jogging in the mornings before school again.

Ever since he started his job—which he was fired from a while ago—his exercise had slowly decreased. Sure, he was still fit. He had _muscles_. But they weren’t the same as they had been. His stamina was slowly on the decline. He read somewhere that it took twice as long to lose your muscles as it does to make them. Damn.

Across the yard, Naruto caught eye of Kiba. The brunet was still ‘stretching’, he had a water bottle in hand while twisting his hips and making conversation with Hinata and Ino. Hinata looked amused and confused while Ino just looked at Kiba like he was stupid.

Naruto couldn’t pick up what Kiba was saying, but the grin on his face showed it was probably stupid. The entire scene made him want to shake his head. Some boys really would do anything to impress a girl. Had he always been like that?

He looked again, this time focusing solely on the water bottle Kiba was holding. Damn, his mouth felt so dry. After swallowing spit, he eyed around for the water bottles that Gai had ordered them to put away. They had meant to put the bottles on bench near the beginning of the tracks.

His legs moved on their own, feeling faintly limp.

He scanned the bench of bottles of his: The cheap plastic one you buy at the supermarket. Nothing special like Shikamaru’s glass bottle or Kiba’s bottle with the logo of a gym he had gone to once.

Naruto squatted, recognising his as the one under the bench. He had to stretch his arm to grab it, but eventually his fingers wrapped around the thin plastic.

“Don’t trip.”

Naruto looked up to see Sakura putting her own water bottle to her lips..

The blond grinned up at her, “Enjoying the view?”

She made a face.

Naruto stood up quickly, stumbling a bit backwards, but not falling. It was only after noticing her change of expression that Naruto felt his shoulder hit into someone. He turned around hastily.

“Hey!”

Sasuke looked at him with dark eyes. Naruto felt his stomach drop. Oh.

* * *

 

The changing rooms were full of talk, but Naruto could barely focus.

He couldn’t keep hiding from Sasuke forever. His sickness was warring off to the point where he had no excuse. And somewhere deep inside his stomach, in a place he would never admit to, he felt guilt.

How could he possibly confront Sasuke if he couldn’t even handle bumping into him? Naruto had always assumed he and Sasuke would have a confrontation about what happened, but it was one thing to think about it happening and another for it to really happen. Like the test you always know is far away, only to wake up to it happening that morning.

He felt sick, and it had nothing to do with his dying fever.

Maybe he didn’t have to confront Sasuke?

Naruto rolled his eyes. Idiot.

“NARUTO! ARE YOU LISTENING?!”

Naruto turned around.

“Well?!” Kiba exclaimed, “did you _know_?!”

His surroundings came into focus. Kiba looked at him personally offended. Shikamaru was changing out of his running shoes and looking up at them with an amused smirk. Sai looked at the scene, visibly uninterested.

“Know what?”

“That Temari and Shikamaru are _dating_?!”

“Kiba, you’re too loud.” Shino scolded.

“Shut up!” Kiba retorted, “Why are you even doing PE?!”

Shino sighed, used to Kiba’s drama.

“Seriously!” Kiba said to Naruto “Did you know _Temari’s_ dating _this_ asshole?!”

A few people turned to them in curiosity, then away. Shikamaru Nara had had girlfriends before.

 “Oh?” Naruto looked to Shikamaru. “You finally asked her out?”

 “Yeah.”

“W—Wait a minute!” Kiba spread his arms out. “You _knew_ this was happening?!”

Naruto shrugged, “It was pretty obvious, everyone knew.”

If it was another day Naruto might’ve laughed at Kiba’s horrified face.

“How can you get a girl like fucking _Temari_ , and _I_ still be single?!” Kiba bellowed.

“Shut up!” One of their classmates yelled.

“YOU SHUT UP!” Kiba stuck a finger in the air. Then Kiba said quietly, “I can’t believe you’re dating Temari…!”

Shikamaru shrugged.

“This is soooo unfair!” Kiba put his hands behind his head.

“What’s unfair is you not wearing deodorant” Sai muttered from his locker.

A series of snorts and sniggers were heard around them.

“Shut up!” Kiba put his arms down.

“It’s because girls know you’re gross.” Shikamaru said, standing. “No girl wants a boyfriend that only thinks with his dick.” He changed shirts.

“Shut up!” Kiba muttered.

The Inuzuka was not ugly, he was definitely not unattractive. But he was one of those boys a girl could have an interest in only until she hears him say something true to his nature.  He looked annoyed, and then seriously troubled “This is so unfair” He turned to Naruto. “At least you don’t have a girlfriend either, yeah?”

Naruto looked to Kiba, who was looking at him with hopeful eyes.

He smiled grimly.

Then Kiba’s expression changed to scorn, “Oh, _that’s right_. Of course not. You have like eighty hickies.”

Naruto’s face reddened, tone hushed. “Shut up! There weren’t eighty!”

Kiba’s eyes scanned Naruto’s body. None left.

Kiba sighed, “ _Whatever_.”

People were already finished getting dressed and leaving when Naruto was about to close his locker. He didn’t comprehend what was happening when he felt a hard shove to his shoulder.

Oi!” Kiba sounded, “ _at least say sorry_!”

The Uchiha barely looked at either of them.

“Fuck!” Kiba complained, “Why’d you let him do that?!”

Naruto had the type of butterflies in his stomach he wanted to vomit out. _That_ hadn’t been an accidental shove, it had been on purpose, and it had been hard. Much harder than Naruto’s accidental _bump_ earlier. Who lets someone put their dick up their ass and then tries to shove them into a locker?

“Asshole!” Kiba called after Sasuke, “Come back here and apologize! Be a man! Faggot!”

Naruto wanted to grab Kiba and shake him.

Sasuke turned around. “Excuse me?”

It was like Sasuke’s voice had broken the mood of the entire room with a crack. People were looking now. He had stopped, turned and gave them a look Naruto had only seen in Sasuke a few times.

“What did you say?” Sasuke said stoically, towel over his shoulder.

For the first time in a _long_ time he just wanted to grab Sasuke and calm him down instead of fighting.

Sasuke approached them with a few steps and looked straight to Naruto. “What did you say?”

Naruto glanced around. “I didn’t say anything.”

This was not how Naruto usually reacted, and people could tell. Most were already staring at the two in curiosity. There hadn’t been a fight in close to a year. Shikamaru looked visibly intrigued.             

“Man, _go fuck yourself_!” Kiba spit.

Sasuke didn’t even glimpse at the brunet.

Kiba made the face of a child who was just told they couldn’t have ice-cream after dinner then looked to Naruto as if to say _‘Well?’_

“ _I_ didn’t say that shit, bastard.” Naruto wondered if it sounded as whiny as he heard.

“You didn’t have to.”

Naruto felt something in the pit of his stomach he did not recognise. He would’ve argued that it was ridiculous for Sasuke to assume anything just by Naruto’s character or actions. But the blond remembered just how much fight’s they’d been in all because Naruto thought Sasuke gave him a look. A look had always been enough to start something between them, Naruto thought. A smile, a snicker, a frown. But Naruto hadn’t given anything to Sasuke. Right?

Maybe the Uchiha misread the silence, because he took it as confirmation.

“If I’m a faggot, then what does that make _you_?”

Naruto’s heart skipped a beat.

Shikamaru and Sai were the only ones close enough to hear, both looking between each other oddly.

They had gotten to the point of reading each other so well. Yet Naruto could not read him. Not now. Not for a while. He had the same bundle of confusion and angst inside him as when Sasuke had stopped acknowledging him last year. Naruto had felt that bundle ripped and thrown out when they had had sex, but now it was crawling back up through his stomach and consuming his insides worse than ever.

What the fuck.

“Faggot or not,” There was an anger in Naruto’s voice he hadn’t expected. “you’re still a fucking _asshole._ ”

If the Uchiha was bothered by the reply, it did not show. For a second Naruto felt like he had said the thing Sasuke was hoping him to say. Though it hadn’t exactly calmed Sasuke down, it hadn’t pissed him off. Lately it was like everything Naruto said and did had pissed Sasuke off. The Uchiha had gone from ignoring Naruto to waiting for any provocation. They were going in circles.

Sasuke glanced at him one last time, and it was just when Sasuke had turned around and Naruto had remembered to breathe when he heard Kiba speak.

“ _Fag._ ”

* * *

 


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

 Naruto

He ran until his legs begged him to break.

It was at 5:40am in a near empty park that he slowed to a stop. Blond hair clung to his forehead. Naruto thought the only thing more annoying than the layers of sweat on him was his throbbing right hand, or maybe the taste of blood in his mouth. Don’t bite your lip when you run.

He calmed his breathing and ran his good hand over his face.

For a moment he was crouching, getting his breathing in order. Calming his body. Then raising himself slowly, he tested his feet out. He should buy new runners soon. He hadn’t used these ones since he had last worked out, which was last year. There was also a tight burning pain in his leg muscles. He really should’ve stretched better.

Taking a deep breath, the seventeen year old started to walk slowly.

Naruto had always been an extrovert by nature, so it had been hard growing up for him without friends. And though he had friends now—and was not quite alone as he used to be— he still sometimes missed the silence and desolation you could only get from being alone.

He supposed this park was a good place to get alone time. He often spent time alone here when he was little… In fact it had barely changed. The grass was still bright green, the trees were still tall as hell and the benches still spread over the park randomly. His eyes travelled over the benches—looking much worn out since when he had been younger—, there weren’t many people here apart from joggers. Yet somehow his eyes caught sight of two boys he didn’t know how he had missed.

Boy one was talking to boy two, leaning back on the bench while boy two stared up patiently. They were around his age, Naruto realised. Boy one had dark hair, brown and messy while the second boy had features probably considered too delicate for a boy. Something about the way they talked filled Naruto’s stomach with a familiar type of curiosity.

It was when boy one’s eyes flickered over to him, that the blond realised he’d stopped and was staring. Fuck.

Naruto didn’t wait and see what their reactions were. He ran a hand through his hair and started to run again.

* * *

 Minato

There was an unholy tiredness in Minato’s eyes as he walked through the police station at approximately 6.35pm. There were lines on his face he used to only get when he smiled. Shikaku argued it was from stress, Minato argued it was just from age. Shikaku wouldn’t even know stress anymore. He’d satisfied himself to head of a department position a long time ago, and that didn’t seem to be changing. Minato on the other hand, was in charge of budgeting, staff management, operation management and most of all public relations. Minato knew stress very well. And he knew the lines on his face were from age, not stress, fore he had been stressing a long time before they came.

“Sir,” The young detective started. “We didn’t really know who else to call, I was told to call y—

“That’s enough.” When had Minato’s voice become so harsh?

“S—

“Just take me to him.”

There was something in Minato’s gut as he walked. Eyes around glanced to him awkwardly then to each other. Déjà vu entered him through his steps and gut. All the many, many times he had come for Naruto. His son, in a police station giving attitude to the police, feigning dumbness and watching them writhe. Surely, his mother would’ve been proud. But it hadn’t been his mother Naruto had been thinking about.

Though it was not Naruto waiting for him. Minato knew this, thankfully. That boy had worn him down more than god knows how many years in the law enforcement. No, instead Minato watched the door open to an interrogation room where Sarutobi Konohamaru sat handcuffed to the table, playing with his feet. The long scarf draped around him, there were scratches and scrapes on his arms like he’d tripped on concrete and his hair looked nothing less than a mess.

Large brown eyes wondered up to Minato.

Minato sighed.

“S—

“Why is he handcuffed?” Minato muttered.

“I…” The detective paused. “Procedure.”

“You can go now.”

Minato watched the detective awkwardly scuffle off.

Konohamaru wasn’t actually meant to be interrogated, but it was either this or a holding cell and little boys in holding cells didn’t do well. Minato sighed loudly entering the room. It was lit with a white light meant to make the atmosphere eerie. White walls, silver table and blue carpet. The whole lay out was like a hospital waiting room.

Konohamaru tapped his feet together and looked up at Minato with a strange type of pout. The boy was not as intimidated as he should’ve been.

Minato put his cap on the edge of the table and pulled out the chair. “Are you going to make this difficult?”

Minato could already see Konohamaru inspecting him. As if the brunet had imagined this scene in his head before many times, and Minato was not living up to his imagination.

“No answer…?”

Konohamaru huffed without reply. At the five minute mark Minato lost his patience. “You tried to rob a police car.” He waited, but got no reply. “Do you understand how stupid that sounds…?”

Konohamaru furrowed his eyebrows.

God, he was tired. Minato stretched his shoulders and back. New approach. “You know, your father—

“Wasn’t like this. Neither was my mum, or my grandpa, yeah, yeah. I get it. I’m a mutant.” Konohamaru rolled his eyes. “But you were never like this and Naruto turned out like me.”

Minato looked at him unimpressed. “First of all, _you_ turned out like _Naruto_. Second of all, this isn’t about him. Third of all, he grew out of it.”

“What happened? You stopped bailing him out?”

“Don’t change the subject.” He repeated more to himself.

Konohamaru pressed his mouth together hard.

“Konohamaru,” Minato began easy. “You broke into a police car and tried to take a weapon…” Pause. No answer. “You tried to take a gun… Do you underst—

“It’s not like I was gonna do anything!”

The outburst threw Minato off. When he pulled himself back together he only had one word on his mind. _Spoiled_.

“Konohamaru,” Minato said. “You need to understand the severity of this situation… Is there any family—?”

“They’re all dead.”

He ran a hair through his head to fight the urge to roll his eyes or do something else disrespectful, (a trait his son had inherited).“Are there any responsible adults that I can call…? A godparent…? Someone that looks after you…?”

Konohamaru was quiet for so long Minato thought he wasn’t going to reply, until, “Ebisu…”

“Ebisu.” Minato confirmed. “You stay with him?”

“Ever since Grandpa died.”

Right. Grandpa. Better known as Hiruzen Sarutobi.

Sarutobi Hiruzen had been a legend throughout the force in Konoha. There were other cities in their country he was just as well known. He exposed a number of organised crime heads and put away more than his fair share of dangerous criminals. Maybe if he had continued his work he would’ve become a full blown legend. But when your son and his wife die in a car accident, and you are made to choose between career and caring for your one year old grandson, you do what you have to do. What is right.

The old man had never been very passive or reclined when being threatened. Somehow it was depressingly fitting for him to have died the way he did. Minato remembered clearly the report he had read on the situation. The old man had been mugged, he had fought back, he had been stabbed and the mugger left an old dying man without turning back for a half empty wallet.

Minato rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and suddenly felt so, so old. “I’m going to go call Ebisu... When I come back be ready to tell me what happened. I’d prefer a clear conscience when I go home today.”

* * *

 Naruto

Naruto had a lot of fights when he was younger. And behold, they were not all with Sasuke. Because though Sasuke had been snarky, arrogant and provocative, he was not the only one that had been snarky, arrogant and provocative. In fact civility was not common through children in Naruto’s time. And though they were barely a generation apart, it seems the children now were much better behaved.

There was one particular fight that came to his mind though. He had been ten. A boy named Miyagi had come into their class half way through the semester. Same age. All Naruto could remember about him at this point was he had chubby hands and thinly cropped black hair. Ugly boy. Uglier personality.

Looking back on it, Naruto realised Miyagi was probably just jealous, and/or had abusive parents or some shit. But back then Naruto only knew about Miyagi from what he experienced.

Naruto never told his dad he was bullied. The blond never told his dad about much of anything. Minato slowly made the discovery of Sasuke and Naruto’s feud through exasperated teacher phone calls and meetings. But that was that, and that was different.

Naruto never told his dad Miyagi shoved him, or took his things, or laughed at him all the time. Naruto never told his dad no one defended him, or that somehow Miyagi had more friends than Naruto.

Naruto never told his dad anything.

So, Naruto did not tell his dad about the time he attacked Miyagi.

Because Naruto had been trying to be good. Because the feud with Sasuke was wearing Minato dry. Because Naruto was not close with his dad, but he was young and full of love for his father. So, he had been trying to be patient. Because though he did not believe in god, he could’ve sworn at that time the lord above was testing him.

It was after school, on the way home, that Miyagi had provoked him. They were not on school property, no teacher would find out. Because Naruto was not a pussy.

Miyagi had ended up with a broken nose, bruises on his face and arms, and a twisted ankle. He didn’t bother Naruto again, because, Uzumaki Naruto was not a pussy.

Uzumaki Naruto was not a pussy.

And as Uzumaki Naruto walked through opened doors looking for Uchiha Sasuke, he thought two things. One, maybe Minato would be proud if he knew his son was actually in a public library. Two, he was not a pussy.

* * *

 Konohamaru

It was going to get late soon. It usually did around 5 o’clock. Konohagakure: The city in the leaves. No other city in their country was this in tune with their nature, Konohamaru was sure. He had been named after it. How embarrassing to have to tell your class mates your name was ‘Konohamaru’, as if your parents had been so uncreative. Well, he wouldn’t know. He never had the chance to ask them.

“Konohamaru, this is a bad idea.”

“Moegi, you said you’d be cool with this.”

“I know…but…”

“Just let me concentrate!” 

Udon looked between them. Udon was a quiet and reserved child by nature. He thought being friends with Konohamaru would bring fun and excitement in his life. All it had brought was trouble and drama. Moegi on the other hand sought out drama and fun, and then acted as if it was worse thing ever in the actual situation. Maybe if it was not for this fault her confidence and charm could’ve made her popular as would have her long orange and bright brown eyes. Instead she was in an alley holding cans of spray paint while her class crush and close friend did what he could to feel alive.

“Maybe she’s right.” Udon said. “This isn’t as fun as I thought it would be…”

“Well that’s cause you’re not making it fun!” Konohamaru spat back. “Naruto used to do this stuff all the time!”

“You’re not Naruto.” Udon said.

 “Naruto’s dad is a super high person in the police…” Moegi’s voice quietened with each word.

“So?” Konohamaru replied.

“So,” Udon continued. “He probably got out of trouble many times thanks to that!”

“Naruto said he didn’t get any special treatment.” Konohamaru said. “The only one who got special treatment was that asshole Uchiha! No one wants to mess with the big shot lawyer’s son! Pfft!”

“Naruto probably got a lot of special treatment.” Udon retorted. “He lied to you or maybe his dad just made sure he didn’t know!”

“Naruto did twice as much stuff as me. Worse stuff.” Konohamaru muttered as if he hadn’t heard.

“You’re not Naruto…” Moegi muttered.

Udon sighed.  He didn’t understand why Konohamaru was desperately trying to fight out of Naruto’s shadow, when he himself had put himself there. Honestly. No one told Konohamaru he had to be like that Uzumaki guy. But nope. As soon as the brunet met the blond it was like he found his idol. Pssht. He was barely idol material. Udon was convinced in no time Uzumaki Naruto would be driving by their houses every morning as the Garbage Collector.

“Kono—

“God, Moegi! I’m almost done! Ugh! You’re such a girl!” Konohamaru exclaimed.

“Shut up!” She muttered.

The spray cans stopped and suddenly there was a moment of shared silence.

“Okay!” Konohamaru grinned. “Done!”

They all looked up at the bricked side wall of a cheap restaurant. It was colourful enough as it is. Pretty much anyone looking to feel rebellious or break bad had gone to this wall at least once and marked it. The poor restaurant owners gave up painting over the graffiti around seven years ago. At one point they had tried installing fence on the alley to prevent entrance. That hadn’t worked.

There was graffiti and drawn pictures from the most notorious teenagers. If you squinted hard enough and focused on the orange under the other patterns and colours you could see a vague outline Uzumaki Naruto had drawn when he was thirteen. It was hard to make out what the picture had originally been off, Konohamaru asked Naruto once and the blond had just laughed it off. Because Naruto was not the same as he had been. Konohamaru often wondered if he too would change when he got older. The brunet didn’t like to think about it too much, he preferred to live in the moment. And in this moment Konohamaru was coming of age.

The group looked up at the wall and stared at the ‘work of art’ Konohamaru had created. The silence was broken but Moegi’s high pitched laugh.

 “What?! What’s so funny?!”

The drawing itself was definitely nothing impressive. It was a chibi. A mock drawing of Konohamaru. It had his long scarf, brown eyes and beige beanie. It was not a surprising choice for graffiti and maybe it wouldn’t be so funny if it wasn’t drawn so damn ugly.

“ _Konohamaru.”_ Udon read out the words under the chibi. “Why did you put your name on it?”

“Well, I put my face on it so it shouldn’t matter. Besides I’m supposed to tag it as mine.” Konohamaru narrowed his eyes. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Yeah you put your face,” Moegi muttered. “But it’s not much use since no one can recognise it.”

“I mean…” Udon said. “If you wanna get arrested or something…”

“I’m not gonna get arrested for graffiti!” Konohamaru rolled his eyes. He looked at his work with a new expression. “Man, screw you guys... Let’s go.”

The brunet boy threw the spray cans down the closed in alley and hopped off the crates and into the streets. The streets of Konoha were packed. They were in the outer parts, near the flea markets. It was easy to get away with stuff in that area, through the swarms of people that were either too tired or too poor to give a damn about three twelve year olds rebelling.

“Where do you wanna go?” Moegi said when she caught up to Konohamaru.

The boy watched the crowd bustle. “I don’t know.”

A hand grabbed Konohamaru’s shoulder. He turned to see Udon looking more than a bit tired.

“Let’s just go.” Udon said.

Walking through the crowds of adults through Konoha sometimes felt like being a fish through a storm of eels.

Their city of Konoha resided deep within a forest at the base of a mountain. There was a time when Konoha was barely a city or even a village, a long, long time ago when it was just a plot of land home to different families. If you searched up the history of Konoha, you would find a lot of bloodshed and war, some families that still existed had a history that dated back to the Edo Period. There was a list of famous warriors that came from Konohagakure too, a list that made Konohamaru proud. But it was just that, a list. That didn’t mean anything anymore. Now Konoha, more than any other city praised peace and unity, ironically.

“Where are we going?” Moegi asked.

Konohamaru ignored her. They followed him into the crowd, through the packed bodies and incessant yelling from the townspeople. Bargains this. Fifty per cent of that. The type of things no child processes.

As the crowds thinned and the streets became breathable again, Konohamaru thought of only one place to visit.

“Where are we going?” Moegi repeated promising herself if Konohamaru didn’t reply she’d punch him in the crotch.

“Here.”

A few adults dispersed and suddenly they were all staring at just another beige coloured building in the outer district. Though this one had a row of flowers outside it displayed, along with a large sign reading ‘Yamanaka Flowers’.

‘Yamanaka Flowers’ was a shop owned by the Yamanaka family.

Inoichi usually ran the shop but since Ino’s become of age he’s decided to put her in charge of the counter, as work experience. They say the shop has run in the family for generations, yet Konohamaru clearly remembered Inoichi used to work in the police force. It seemed like every adult he knew used to work in the police force. The business took a surprising boom a few years ago and there’s been talk of branching out. For now though the shop itself was just another beige coloured building in the outer district.

Udon was still trying to catch his breath. He wiped sweat from his forehead. “Why are we at a flower shop?”

“Why not?” Konohamaru countered.

“You try so hard to be a badass,” Udon said. “And now it turns out you spend your free time in a flower shop?”

“Hey, shut up!” Konohamaru said. “Ino works there, okay?”

“Oh.” Udon said.

Ino Yamanaka. A fair-skinned female of average height with green eyes and long pale blonde hair. Her whole style of clothing was anything that complemented her body, and most clothes did. She had this aura about herself. This attitude about boys, that any one of them was replaceable to her, and walked as though she didn’t know what affect she had. But she did. Every female did. When she walked past you could see the exact moment a boy straightened his posture or held his head a little higher, acted a little more well put together and casual, as if he didn’t have to be there. As if he was too good to be there.

Moegi rolled her eyes. “She’s like twice your age.”

“She’s like only a few years older than me!” Konohamaru walked towards the door. “When I’m twenty she’ll be…” He held his fingers up to do the math. “ _Twenty-six_! Barely an age difference!”

“ _Barely_ an age difference…?” Moegi asked. “Did you even calculate that right? That’s still a big age difference.”

Moegi thought at what age do boys stop assuming they can do anything, (e.g. snag someone considerably older than them.) Moegi wondered about how Konohamaru had basically no family, and so who made him so damn spoiled?

When the bell’s ringing echoed through the shop Ino looked up from her magazine and to the group of younglings entering. How torturous it had to be to work all afternoon at a counter on such a bright day.

“Well, well, well… What do we have here?” Ino’s voice was like velvet.

“Good afternoon, Ino. You look ravishing today.” Konohamaru said.

“Thanks.” It was flat and almost sarcastic. 

The floors were tiled with stone and designed to weave out a pathway between the sections of flowers. There were some plants in the store that towered to the ceiling and others that barely rose from the ground. It was all designed in a way to make it look like a colourful forest of sorts. Konohamaru had never had much appreciation for flowers and filing through his memory he only remembered cherry blossoms and plum blossoms. But this place had the entire assortment of colours and shapes.

He was staring at a bouquet of blue/purple flowers when Ino interrupted him. “So, what do you guys need?”

“Just browsing.” Udon replied.

Konohamaru got a good look at the girl at the counter, tight shirt and shorts. He wondered if girls would look like that when he’d be seventeen.

“What’s that?” Ino motioned with her chin.

The two other twelve year olds turned to Konohamaru—who was looking down—, on his trousers was a large stain of paint spray. Come to think of it, his entire outfit screamed ‘hooligan’.  

“Oh…” Konohamaru managed.

“He was spray painting in an alley.” Moegi said.

Ino raised her brows ever so slightly and watched Konohamaru snap Moegi a glare. “Oh, and why was he doing that?”

Moegi stayed quiet this time.

Konohamaru shrugged, putting a little too much effort into appearing blasé.

Udon said “he spray painted that restaurant wall… You know the one near Ichiraku’s …”

“Oh?” Ino ran a hand through her hair. Usually it was kept up in a high pony tail with only her side fringe hanging, but today it was all out and flowing. “Why?”

“He’s just trying to be Naruto.” Moegi said.

“Shut up!” Konohamaru interjected. “I’m not trying to be him! Why does everyone keep saying that?!”

“You know,” Ino looked at them with soft bemusement, “Naruto isn’t exactly the best role model.”

“I’m not trying to be him.” Konohamaru repeated. No, he didn’t have to say it but the message was clearly received. He was trying to _outdo_ him.

Ino looked at Konohamaru. “Do you know how much trouble Naruto got into…? Do you know the stories I could tell you…? And I don’t even know all of what he did.”

“Che.” Konohamaru was suddenly fascinated by the floor. “Who cares?”

“So basically he and Naruto are the same.” Udon said flatly.

“No,” Ino furrowed her eyebrows, “no way. Naruto had a totally different muse.”

“Oh?”

“ _Well_ , maybe _muse_ isn’t the right word for him.” Ino puckered her lips.

“Who?” Konohamaru asked.

“Who?” Ino said. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“Sasuke.” Udon voiced from the back.

Ino hummed. “Sasuke, indeed.”

“Why—” Konohamaru never understood. “… Why did they hate each other so much?”

The brunet had heard so many stories. With every story he heard about Uzumaki Naruto there was a follow up about Uchiha Sasuke. There was a constant interlink between them, like god had constantly been pushing them towards each other, though it only ever created chaos. Konohamaru didn’t care much for Sasuke. He didn’t care much for Uchiha’s in general, if truth be told.

“I don’t know…” Ino said. “They were rivals, I guess. Both are naturally really passionate so it makes sense.”

“Do you think Konohamaru’s anything like Naruto?” Moegi asked. “Or maybe he’s more like Sasuke?”

Konohamaru’s face scrunched up and Ino let out a laugh.

“No, he’s not like Sasuke, definitely.” Ino smiled. “And not as bad as Naruto…”

“Not as bad as Naruto?” Konohamaru asked. Just how bad had the Uzumaki been? How many stories were there that Konohamaru hadn’t heard?

“What do you mean?” Udon asked. “What did he do?”

Ino shrugged as if recalling an annoyance. “Stupid stuff. To be honest I was never really impressed with it. Most of the things he did were just to get a reaction.”

“Like what?” Moegi asked.

“Well… Stealing mostly. Getting into fights, though most of them were with Sasuke. The usual. But I mean, if you need an example I remember this one specific time when he was around thirteen, he trashed a police car.”

“Woah…” Moegi said.

Konohamaru furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“I mean he trashed a police car.” Ino said with a roll of her eyes, unimpressed. “I don’t know the details, but apparently the head lights were broken, the windows were broken, the police siren was damaged. Even the car doors were dented.” She paused. “He really put some work into it.”

“Do you know why?” Konohamaru asked.

Ino inspected her nails. “I didn’t ask. No one really approached him too much after that. But my theory is to say a big ‘fuck you’ to his dad.”

Konohamaru couldn’t imagine Naruto trying to purposely disrespect or hurt his dad like that. But it seemed the logical explanation.

“Did he get in trouble?” Udon asked.

“Oh, _yeah_.” Ino said, eyes on him. “Big trouble. Again, I don’t know the details.” She never did. “But he didn’t come to school after that for about a week or so. Which is a lot for Minato. I can’t imagine what happened.”

One of the other main differences about Naruto and Konohamaru was that Naruto was always uncaring about consequences. He had always been prepared for the worst of the worst. The boy had stopped giving a damn around ten. It was natural for him. Konohamaru did what he did for the performance factor. It was a show to him. Nothing but a game. He was nowhere near ready for the reality of consequences.

“How did he do it?” Konohamaru asked. “With a bat?”

“I don’t know.” Ino said.

“Did he do it in the daytime?”

“I don’t know.” Ino repeated.

“Was he alone?” Udon asked.

Ino looked to him quietly for a moment.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“I mean.” Udon explained. “Do you know if it was only him there? Or was there someone helping him, or provoking him or something?”

Ino stared at the dark haired boy and for a moment the shop was dead silent. When she spoke her voice was hushed as if she was just realising something. “…You know… I don’t know.”

* * *

Sasuke

The doors opened. There were echoes of footsteps on the marble floors. This was a very recent library though it had been designed to look very old-fashioned. Originally on the there had been a warehouse. In fact there were most children in Konoha had grown up playing in said warehouse at least in one point in their childhoods. But after complaints from worried parents and the general ugliness of the building, the people had the warehouse knocked down and turned it into a library. They even added an elevator, though it was only two stories high.

The footsteps stopped.

Naruto stood up from the floor, waiting. “Well? Are you done?”

Sasuke paused for a moment just to watch Naruto pull himself together. “Done what?”

Naruto said “are you done being a bitch?”

Sasuke was quiet for a moment, then, “are _you_?”

* * *

 

When Sasuke was around fourteen years old their family had gone on vacation. It had been during summer break, they’d gone to Kumogakure to visit family. There was a profound difference between the city life of Konoha and the towns of Kumogakure where the Uchiha family had stayed.  Maybe it was that summer away from Konoha he realised that just maybe Uzumaki Naruto was an important character in his life. Because god, life really was boring without that dobe to annoy, or maybe even be annoyed by. Or maybe not, because it seemed everyone he met in Kumogakure including his family was already annoying the hell out of him.

If only Itachi had been there. But no, he had been eighteen that year. He had become a man and actually had a choice in coming to family vacations or not. And being the smart young man that he was, he had chosen no.

The only semi-good thing that had come out of that vacation was his first blowjob. Turned out there were more than a few sexually repressed gay boys in Kumogakure eager to get on their knees for any good looking Konoha boy.

The first time he received a blowjob was during the Gion Festival, right around before his birthday. He remembered the one who gave it to him. Or at least what he looked like—the name had slipped from his mind right after he had cum—He had had light brown dyed hair and tanned skin. The boy had been one year older than Sasuke though he had no problem being on his knees for him. Sasuke remembered closing his eyes, lifting his yakuta in the heated evening sky and wondering just how long he had until his mother started looking for him.

It hadn’t lasted long, first times never did. Not that the other boy seemed to mind.

It was a weird thing to come into one’s sexuality. Looking back on it Sasuke could clearly remember the drop of his stomach and wave of guilt that followed the rest of summer break. And when he came back to Konoha and was met with a heap of flying insults and provocations from a certain Uzumaki, the boy realised that he would’ve gladly given up his Kumogakure vacation, blowjobs included, to have just spent the summer fighting and provoking Naruto.

* * *

Naruto 

Naruto had spent over forty minutes trying to get a reaction out of Sasuke. This involved all of his old methods, e.g. flicking things at him, ranting, insulting him. The Uchiha had never thought of Naruto as a patient person but as it turned out he could when the dobe needed to be. Of course in the end he’d gotten no reaction from Sasuke.

Although apparently when you spend around an hour trying to annoy the person across from you, there might just be a chance that you might annoy the people around you too.

Naruto had gotten kicked out of the library. Sasuke hadn’t been expecting Naruto to be waiting. But this entire experience made Sasuke realise that no matter how impatient the blond was, he was twice as stubborn.

“You’re being a pussy.”

“Excuse me?” Sasuke’s eyes narrowed.

 “You heard me.” Naruto said with a hard tone. “You—” He paused, frustrated. “…You know I didn’t call you a fag. You _know_ that was _Kiba_. And still you did **_this_ _shit_**!” Naruto raised a right, bandaged hand.

They were outside at the back of the library, in an alley with narrow spacing that no one really went to. There were empty drink bottles and paper bags better left unopened and a garbage dumpster mainly used by the cheap restaurant next door.

Sasuke was unwavering. “You did that to yourself.”

It was true. Sasuke had punched Naruto to begin with. It had been a messy and clumsy fight on Naruto’s part and when the dobe finally pulled himself together to aim a punch at the Uchiha, the bastard had dodged and Naruto’s fist collided into a locker. There was a loud snap which they later found out was from the locker. None of Naruto’s bones were brokem or fractured. He was experienced enough to know how to throw a punch. The bandage was for added protection, a reminder not to move his hand too much. It was bruised, bloody and still hurt like a motherfucker.

“Fuck you! And what about _this?_!” He motioned to his cut lip.

Sasuke didn’t flinch. “I’ve done worse to you. Get over it.”

Naruto did something between a pout and scowl. “ _God_ , can you _not_ be an _asshole_ for once?!”

“Can you not be an _idiot_ for once?” Sasuke spat back.

He wanted to punch Sasuke. He probably should’ve, but instead he muttered a “fuck you” and slammed their mouths together.

Sasuke stumbled back. There was an uncontrolled surge between them. He invited Naruto’s tongue in like a soldier home from war and suddenly they were all hands and body pushing and grinding against each other. Like any space between them was too much.

His hand found thick, blond hair. He gripped into it, urging Naruto closer, opening his mouth to Naruto’s tongue. Into Sasuke’s moist and wet and so very perfect mouth. Naruto could already feel Sasuke stiffening against his thigh. Naruto hummed something inaudible—sounding very might like a ‘fuck you’ or ‘fuck yes’— when Sasuke rubbed his crotch against Naruto’s hip.

 “Fuck.”

“Mmmm.” Naruto agreed.

“No. Fuck.”

And suddenly those hands that had been pulling him close were shoving him away.

The first thing Naruto processed was the rapid loss of warmth. The second thing he processed was the door of the back of the library opening and an old woman scuffling out with a bag of garbage. The third thing he processed was Sasuke and he’s very apparent states.

They both turned, hiding their erections. Naruto ran a hand through his hair and over his mouth, trying to steady his breathing. She glanced between them awkwardly, as it turned out this was just as embarrassing to her as it was to them. There was a moment of gawkiness when the woman was too short to reach over the dumpster. Eventually she got it in. Fixing her glasses, the lady avoided eye contact and walked back into the library faster than necessary.

They stood there, apart. It seemed all their kisses were spur of the moments, and Naruto realised now just how awkward and new it was for them to really try and touch each other with sobered minds. Really though, it had always been like that.

“Well?”

Naruto’s eyes snapped up to Sasuke, leaning back on the wall, looking at Naruto in a way no straight boy would want another boy to look at them.

“You just gonna stand there?”

He was quiet for a moment, at a loss, then “fuck you.”

* * *

 Konohamaru

“The sun is gonna set soon…” Moegi waited for a reply but got none. “I think I should go home soon…”

The sun was about to set, the rays of lights were shifting from orange to red. They’d found a playground. Well, they hadn’t found it. Truth was they went to it a lot. It wasn’t much of a playground though, a slide and a swing with monkey bars that looked dangerous to hang onto. Konohamaru lay with his back on the slide, staring at the changing colours of the sky and wondering why leaving Yamanaka flowers had left a disappointment in his stomach.

“Are you listening? Konohamaru?”

Moegi’s face appeared right in front of Konohamaru’s line of vision.

“Hello?” She asked.

He furrowed his eyes. “Yes, hi. Leave. I don’t care.”

She looked annoyed at him for a second, about to say something, but she just rolled her eyes and left.

“Udon.” He heard her say. “Can you walk me home?”

“Me?”

“Yeah.”

“Uh… Okay.” Konohamaru could see Udon glancing at him from the corner of his eye. Should he say bye?

Konohamaru put up a hand as a wave gesture: Bye.

Udon paused for a second, but Moegi grabbed him by the wrist and led him off.

You know, Konohamaru could remember the clear morning he found out his grandpa had died. He remembered the police that told him, he remembered them inspecting him closely to see his reaction. As if it was a TV show they had missed. He remembered a lot about it. So vividly. Too vividly. It was odd mourning, he thought. When his parents had died he had been too young to know how to mourn or even why bother.

He never told anyone this but after his grandpa died he had supposed to go with his uncle, Asuma. That hadn’t worked out. You don’t make a lot of money as teachers. Funnily enough—or maybe unfunny enough—Asuma had ended up dying later on.

Naruto had been similar, or so Konohamaru had thought. Believed.

He had liked to imagine Naruto was an independent freedom fighter who sought out rebellion and fought for his own vigilante nature. He had aspired to that. But as it turns out the only reason Naruto did most of what he did was just to play in a game of cat and mouse with none other but an Uchiha. There was a weird coming of age moment in a human when they realise their hero is nothing but another person.

The boy sat up and realised just how dark it would become soon. Wrapping his scarf tighter around him, he stood up and made his way out of the park.

The streets were emptying.

This was a part of Konoha that had nothing. When the darkness came the people left. He was glad he lived in the inner city, there was much more life and business. Maybe sometimes too much. But nonetheless it was constant, like a constant wave of life. In this area of Konohagakure the business climbed high during the day and fell dead at night. It made him think of his parents. How much does someone have to love this city to name their damn child after it?

It was half way home, when the outer city was crossing into the inner that he noticed it. A black and white car, almost abandoned looking. It was parked on the curb, in front of an apartment building. On the side it read in big letter, ‘Konoha Police Force.’

It seemed like every adult he knew used to work in the police force.

He should keep walking, he thought. It was stupid and unnecessary for him to still stand there, looking through the window of a police car as if there were stolen goods inside it.

Where were the police? He thought. Maybe inside the apartment? Maybe they were taking care of someone, maybe a robbery. But still, wasn’t it stupid to leave a car unattended? A police car at that.

He put his hand up against the glass and squinted, certain he saw something on the corner of the seat. Something familiar looking he had only seen on TV or from afar on police.

Konohamaru thought, they were asking for trouble, surely.

* * *

 Naruto

“Since when do you smoke?” Naruto watched Sasuke light a cigarette and inhale.

 “Recreationally since last year.”

Naruto made a face watching him breathe out the smoke. “I bet you think you’re so cool...”

“Hn.”

“I bet you think you’re so hot…”

“You’re stupid.” There was still an edge to Sasuke that hadn’t particularly been there before they’d had sex. An anger about him Naruto couldn’t quite understand. It peeked out of his words sometimes like a snake out of a hole, and the blond thought better than to ask. They’d never been good with words.

“Smoking’s stupid.” Naruto said.

“So?” Sasuke retorted.

“ _So_?” Naruto mocked. “Don’t do it. It’s gross.”

“You’re friends with Shikamaru. Get over it.”

“I don’t shove my tongue down _Shikamaru’s_ throat.”

“Hn.”

Naruto rolled his eyes. His body shifted. He could still feel a burning sensation on his dick where Sasuke had rubbed him. After the erotica was gone and they had cum, Naruto realised maybe he should put some money in his savings for lube. They had gotten each other off like gay thirteen year olds at a sleepover, clumsily and needily with Sasuke pressed on a wall and Naruto desperate for any skin to mark.

Now he was sticky and smelling of sex. Both were too tired to walk back into their distressing and perplexed reality. Because if they got up and walked off, then it would have happened, and moments like these need to be sat in and processed before accepted. So they did. They sat there next to each other while Naruto thought the next time he puts his tongue in Sasuke’s mouth it better not smell of cigarettes. 

It was after 5 minutes—when Sasuke put out his cigarette—that Naruto spoke.

“I’m failing maths.”

Quiet, then a sarcastic “… Oh?”

“Fuck off.” Naruto’s mouth pinched and it went back to quiet.

The blond sighed.

“Kurenai said I need a tutor.”

* * *

 


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

_I was worst to the one I loved best._    
—Laxdæla saga

* * *

Jiraiya 

He should have returned to Minato straight away. He should have knocked the door down to the Namizake residence, crawled into their guest room and slept for three days. There was so much in his life he should do and should have done. Yet, it was not the Namizake residence he returned to. And when the door opened, he thought of summer.

She had always reminded him of summer. A blazing, furious, fire. A warmth in your stomach that felt like a shove in the back to keep moving.

She leaned on the door frame, tilting her head. “Well, I thought you wouldn’t be back for another few years.”

Jiraiya remembered a time his smile would’ve subdued any female, now it only exaggerated the lines on his face. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you weren’t happy to see me.”

He searched for anger in her, all he saw was resignation. Then, glancing at his rucksack she said “If you think—

“No, no. I’m staying with Minato.”

She looked him over, ever unimpressed. “So, why are you here?”

He put his hand on his back, arching, hearing the cracks his bones made. “I’m an old man, Tsunade. Can’t an old man take a rest?”

With a roll of her eyes, she stood aside and held the door open.

Tsunade had aged well, she was roughly in her mid-fifties and her hair was still as blonde as it had ever been. Her eyes were the same brown, though there were lines around them he dare not mention. She had the face of a woman who had once been young and amazingly beautiful, but had aged.

Jiraiya remembered what she had looked like originally. Before puberty had hit the children of Konoha in that era. When his attraction to her had been purely emotional. He remembered her the same way everyone else did; loud. The girl had been gaudier than half the boys put together and everyone knew it. Her loudmouth and attitude had originally made her unpopular, but when puberty grabbed her she became striking. Her fire became every boys flame.

 “How is Minato?”

“Oh… I’m sure he’s fine…”

“And Naruto?” She went to the kitchen, pulling out the tea leaves and water. He followed her, scanning the apartment.

“I’m sure he’s fine too.” There were photos of friends. Her and Shizune. Tonton.  

“You’re sure?”

He turned to her, watching him. “Well… If anything was wrong Minato would’ve told me about it already.”

“ _Hm_.” Her dangerous eyes lingered over him.

Placing himself on her expensive and finely made couch, he asked “when do you have work?”

“Tomorrow. This is my day off.”

“Have you gotten a promotion yet?”

She leaned against the counter, across from the lounge room where Jiraiya sat. He watched the tea infuse behind her. “I’m the chief of medicine now at Konoha hospital.”

“Ah. Congratulations.”

“Is that mockery?” She asked.

“No, no. I’m just not surprised.”

“Well, you _were_ gone for five years.”

Jiraiya watched her inspect him and smiled.

The man himself had gone back and forth about jobs and careers his whole life. He had been so sure when he was younger he would be a detective, but that involved long hours and hard work. He had never been good tied down. Tsunade on the other hand, had always known what she would do in her life. Working in medicine had been her ambition since she knew she could. And now she was the chief of medicine in Konoha’s hospital.

She’d been a mentor of sorts to Kushina, often advising her about her career choices and such. The woman had made herself quite a reputation in the medical field and any advice from her was heavily valued.

Tsunade was pouring the infused tea when she spoke. “How long do you plan on staying in Konoha?”

“A few days or a week.” He’d been rehearsing.

“A week.” She repeated, and then paused. “So, what? A year?”

He smiled thinly. He made a reputation for himself so he did not have the right to be annoyed when said reputation was pointed out.

“I hope you didn’t just come here for free food or something.”

“Because you cook so well?”

Tsunade raised a brow, unaffected. “Compared to the garbage you’ve been living off, I’m sure my cooking would be an improvement.”

Well, she was not wrong.

“And I hope you don’t plan on taking any food while I’m not looking.” Tsunade continued.

 “What do you take me for? You think I have no respect?”

Tsunade hummed, sitting across from him. “Hm, I’m sure you have just as much respect for me as you do every other woman.”

Jiraiya grinned at her. “I think you’ll find I have absolute respect for women everywhere.”

“Even in the ones in spa houses?”

Jiraiya spluttered. “I— W— ?!”

He had been twenty-two, and it wasn’t as though he had been planning to sneak a glance. It had just happened. Besides, it’s not as though he had succeeded.  

Tsunade rolled her eyes. “I hope your lifestyle doesn’t inflict itself on Naruto. He’s already having trouble in school, you know.”

“How do you know?”

She watched him carefully, sipping her tea. “Minato talks to me often. I suppose he needs a female voice. I was close with Kushina.”

“We all were.”

Jiraiya remembered Uzumaki Kushina as the woman with no people skills. She just did not understand how to speak to people. Jiraiya had always found it strange that someone as charismatic as Minato would marry someone like Kushina. Yet, though the process was longer and harder, falling in love with Kushina was much easier than falling out of love with her. Maybe that was why Minato could not find another, or maybe not. Jiraiya had always thought it strange Minato had let Naruto keep his wife’s name but had changed his back to Namizake.

“He still hasn’t found another woman, has he?” Jiraiya asked

“No, he hasn’t.” Tsunade said, and then paused. “We all loved her, but it really is time.”

Jiraiya let out a chuckle and Tsunade’s eyes turned hard on him.

“Is something funny?”

“No, no.”

Her eyes lingered, but she continued. “I’m surprised Minato doesn’t hold it against you that you missed his wife’s funeral.”

If she was trying to make him guilty, she would have to try harder. “He understands.”

Tsunade rubbed the edge of her tea cup, not looking at him. “…You really do have a talent for missing funerals.”

It was not a talent. He had learned to run before he had learnt to walk, and he had been running since.

“And to think, he named you Naruto’s godfather. Che.” 

“Don’t be so jealous, Tsunade. It doesn’t suit you.” Jiraiya leaned back, wondering if his voice sounded as dead as he heard.

“I’m not. I just wonder if Kushina would agree to it.”

“Must you be so bitter?”

“I’m a woman.”

He paused, watching her drink. “Tell me, Tsunade. How many funerals have I missed?”

Too many to count, she thought. What a stupid question, though. He already knew. Jiraiya had been gone so long, but he knew. He always knew who died. Perhaps it was Minato who told the man, or maybe Naruto, yet Jiraiya always managed to know. And yet he did not come. And yet he wanted her to say it.

“Many.”

The tea was cooling in her hands, when he said “Asuma?”

“Yes.”

“Hiruzen.”

“Yes.”

The woman wondered if he could recognise the doctor in her voice. The cold distilment she held in her tone that had been taught to her by many before her.

“And the Uchiha boy? Is it true?” Jiraiya was more curios than emotionally concerned.

She paused. “Yes… Itachi has died.”

She watched him on the couch, expecting a series of questions. Instead, he looked at her and asked, “and Mikoto?”

Tsunade looked at him oddly. “Mikoto?”

“Yes,” Jiraiya said. “It _was_ her son who died.”

Tsunade looked at him oddly, as though she was unsure of what she had heard. “You barely know her. Why do you care?”

“Does someone have to know someone intimately to be concerned? Wouldn’t any normal person be concerned about how the mother of a dead child is coping?”

“Any normal person, yes. But you, no. Besides, of all people, you ask about her?”

Mikoto had been a close friend of Kushina. The dark haired beauty had been a nurse until Sasuke had been born. Itachi had been born first, though somehow the woman hadn’t thought it necessary to give up her career for the boy. Sasuke, on the other hand…

Jiraiya didn’t answer, and after a silence Tsunade decided she didn’t care. “She’s dealing with it.”

“That’s good.”

An empty acknowledgment for a deceitful male. Tsunade rolled her eyes.

“Must you always assume the worst of me, Tsunade?”

She was unwavering. “Do you blame me?”

“No.” He paused, smiling. “I guess not…” Then, “and how is Sasuke?”

“Hm?”

“How is that boy doing after his brother died?” Jiraiya asked.

“Ah…” Tsunade paused. “I don’t know.”

“Really? … And is Naruto still warring with him?”

Tsunade ran a hand through her hair. This interrogation was becoming a hassle. “I don’t know. Minato hasn’t said anything about it. They are turning eighteen this year. Surely they would be acting a little more mature.”

So, she was not as smart as she seemed, Jiraiya thought. “Surely the Uchiha boy would have reason to get into fights now, more than ever.”

Tsunade hummed in feign agreement. “How many more questions are you going to ask?”

“Just one more,” Jiraiya said watching her put her tea cup down, then “how did Uchiha Itachi die?”

* * *

 Kurenai

Kurenai scanned through the aisles. She remembered a time she didn’t make such an effort to avoid her reflection, but nowadays she walked a little faster passing a certain window or store mirror. She was thirty-one now. She did not present herself the same way she had in her twenties. Her long, dark, thick hair was tied back lazily. The makeup she wore was basically insignificant and her eyes which had once been the most compelling feature on her, now had dark circles underneath them and screamed tiredness.  

Asuma had liked her eyes. They were brown, but he always said they were maroon or amber. The colour of burning wood. He had liked a lot of things about her. Most men did. Even now she saw them glance at her. Perhaps the glances did not last as long as they used to, and perhaps there were not as many. But she knew the men could see a diamond in the ruff. She could see it too sometimes when she looked at herself—once her child was asleep—in the kitchen mirror. When it was night and she was alone. When she could see herself properly.

“That’ll be ¥ 914.93.”

Kurenai looked through her purse, ignoring the look of impatience the girl on the counter wore. The girl wore more than a little make up and had scanned through Kurenai’s items as though each one proved further that the woman was a wreck.

The dark haired woman counted through her money then watched the girl at the counter snatch it and count it herself. She will teach her daughter to be polite, Kurenai thought.

“Thanks for shopping.”

She felt something vibrate in her bag, and decided to check it when she was in the car.

* * *

 Sakura

Sakura wanted to think of the first moment she developed feelings for Uchiha Sasuke, but couldn’t. She could remember a number of things from her childhood. She could remember when she was nine and watched ‘Konoha Story’ for the first time, being mesmerised by Fujikaze Yukie. She could recall her third birthday when her mother bought her a dress with a ribbon and lost the ribbon. She could remember her father leaving. She could remember her mother making him.

Sakura could remember how she looked at her mother. Haruno Mebuki, with her long pink hair and beautiful blue eyes. Sakura had always been mesmerized. That was how she had seen her mother, beautiful.  Her father on the other hand, was sweet. Too sweet. He had been smart too, Sakura remembered. But even the smartest men act stupid, marrying a woman like that. He had been successful in his work, and in a lot of things, but not in his marriage. He was soft… Too soft, and too little to be able to handle a woman like her mother.

She could remember trying so hard, to see ugliness in her mother. And yet, she could not remember the first moment she developed feelings for Uchiha Sasuke.

“What are you thinking about?” Ino stared at Sakura who lay on her bed, curled up under the covers.

“Nothing.”

Ino turned, continuing to brush her long hair. Sakura could remember how much she had wanted hair like that, or at least that length. She had even tried to grow it to that length when she was younger. It had grown long, but now her hair was short, bobbing around her face when she walked and tickling her shoulders.

“Are you okay?” Ino paused brushing, staring at Sakura.

“Oh? Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Just tired?” How long had she been brushing her hair?

“Yeah. That was one hell of a work out.”

Ino hummed in feigned agreement. Her hair had been a mess of knots of tangles before she grabbed the brush.

When they were little they used to play a lot. Sakura remembered going to Ino’s house. It felt like a new experience each time. Ino’s house was large and so westernized compared to Sakura’s little, simple, traditional house. Ino’s home had always looked to Sakura like something designed by Scandinavians. It had always left the Haruno girl in awe. She even remembered passing the huge Uchiha complex, with its large traditional lay out, and not being able to tear her eyes away. She knew if she had not found a goal in nursing, she would find interest in architecture. Though, it was a nice ideal, Sakura knew she was not mathematically skilled enough for that future.

Maybe someone smarter could do that.

“Do you think Shikamaru would make a good architect?” Sakura asked.

Ino paused, taken aback. She looked to Sakura with a raised brow. “Shikamaru?”

“Yeah.”

Ino inspected her. “Where did that come from?”

Sakura shrugged nonchalantly. “He’s smart. I just thought he might be good as an architect.”

Ino slowed down, as if processing Sakura’s words. “Yeah, I guess he would.”

“Hm.” Sakura agreed.

“I thought you might be interested in him for a second.” Ino said, snickering.

Sakura blushed. “Oh god, no. I don’t want Temari coming after me.”

Ino smirked, standing up and stretching. “Those were my thoughts exactly.”

“Do you still talk to him by the way… Now that he’s in a serious relationship?”

There were a countless number of girls. Kin. Tayuya. But none of them had been a match for Temari.

“Not as much,” Ino answered honestly. “But we still talk. He’s been my best friend since we were little.”

“I thought I was your best friend.”

“Yeah, you both are.”

Ino was very privileged sometimes. Having multiple best friends defeated the purpose of having a best friend, in Sakura’s opinion. The blonde had been lucky enough to be extroverted and charismatically good looking from the start. She had had friends from the beginning, and never known what it was like to be alone or without friends. You can have many good friends, but only have one best friend, Sakura thought.

Sakura watched blonde girl walk across the room and towards Sakura’s dressing table.

“Isn’t Temari jealous?”

“Of what?” Ino asked, scoffing.

“That you’re so close with Shikamaru.”

Ino furrowed her eyebrows. “I don’t think so… I think she knows if he was interested in me he would have made a move a long time ago… Besides, that’s disgusting. He’s like a brother to me.”

A very good looking brother, Sakura thought.

“I mean,” Ino continued. “It’s not like Hinata ever gets jealous of you, because you’re so close with Naruto.”

Sakura’s mouth tightened.

Ino picked up one of Sakura’s moisturizers and squeezed it onto her hands, rubbing it into her skin. She said “maybe you should try that with Sasuke. Become his friend first…”

Sakura scoffed, fighting the blush that threatened to rise in her face. How in the hell do you become friends with Uchiha Sasuke? It seemed impossible. She couldn’t even comprehend how Suigetsu or Juugo had done it.

“You know, I actually thought you would have stopped loving him when we were twelve.”

“What? Really?” Now Sakura did blush, embarrassed.

“Yeah.” Ino explained. “Do you remember? After he made you cry…”

Oh. Right… _That_ , she would forever remember. It was around the time her and Ino rekindled their friendship. Sakura had been crying on Ino’s shoulder while the blonde kept asking what happened. Sakura had been so much more sensitive back then… To this day Sakura did not have the stomach to describe to her best friend the truth of what had happened. It was not so Sasuke wouldn’t look bad, but just the embarrassment of _Sakura’s_ actions were enough. And Naruto… Sweet, sweet Naruto… He had been so angry on her behalf. He had been so willing to fight. If only he had known…

“Yes. I remember.”

“I think about that time sometimes, when I see him.” Ino said. “It’s just I always wondered how someone could have feelings for a person that made them cry like that. I used to think you were stupid, or just attracted to abusive boys.”

Maybe she was.

“But…” Ino continued. “He’s actually not that bad…”

Ino still didn’t know what happened, and had given up trying to find out two years ago.

 “Don’t you have feelings for him too?”

Ino was quiet. Hint taken.

Sakura’s eyes were closed and body curled when she felt the bed shake. When she opened her eyes, she found blue eyes, lighter than Naruto’s. Too light to be considered oceanic, not light enough to be considered crystals.

Ino stared at her with mild interest. “I still think you should talk to him. This is our last year. If everything goes wrong, at least you’ll have closure.”

Ino had always been pushing her.

“Maybe.”

Sakura watched Ino’s face twist and fall, swiftly going encouraging to disinterest. “Fine.” She raised herself from the bed. “You’ve always been too shy… Are you still going shopping with Hinata and I, tomorrow?”

“I don’t know.” Sakura said.  “We’re going to be having a test soon…”

“So? Who cares? Shop with us.”

Sakura watched Ino walk across the room, looking to the ground, searching.

“I care. My future is on the line. I’m not like you.”

“What are you going to do again?” Ino mocked.

“I’m being a nurse, Ino. You know that.”

Ino bent over, picking up her t-shirt. “Right, well. You can still go out with us.”

Sakura hummed. “I know I can, and what do _you_ plan to do after high school?”

“I don’t know.” It was the carefree way she said it that made Sakura think she’s been hanging around Shikamaru too much.

Ino bent over, picking up her pants and sliding them over her legs. “If you change your mind, message me.”

“I will.”

Sakura watched Ino leave, remembering the way her lips had opened and pressed themselves over every inch of Sakura’s body, how her hands had grabbed, pulled and squeezed until Sakura knew she would bruise. She wondered what sort of memories Sasuke could give her.

* * *

 Shikamaru

The warm air hit Shikamaru’s face. He had reached into his pocket, searching for a packet of cigarettes at least five times now. It had become a habit, though he knew not to smoke around children. So, all he had found was an empty pocket. Shikamaru didn’t know how long he had been waiting. When you’re young two minutes of waiting seems like two hours. But he aged twice as fast as others, and at this point two hours could’ve passed and he wouldn’t have known.

A dark car pulled into the driveway. He watched the dark haired woman unbuckle herself, barely glancing at him. The car door opened and she exited, closing the front door and opening the back.

Shikamaru’s body moved by itself and suddenly he was beside her. “Do you need help?”

“I’m fine.” Kurenai didn’t even look at him. “I got your text message. How long have you been waiting?”

“I don’t know, not long.”

“Are you okay?” She asked. It was getting darker.

“I’m fine.” He said, watching her take the grocery bags. “Where’s Mirai?”

“At my mother’s.” Kurenai pulled back with the grocery bags, making her way towards the house. “I’m going to get her now.”

“Oh,” He followed her. “Why didn’t you pick her up along the way?”

Brown eyes looked at him. “I heard you’ve started driving.”

* * *

 

It was no secret there was a relationship of sorts between Yuhi Kurenai and Nara Shikamaru. There was a mutual and platonic understanding between them that had formed into a bond. Asuma had handed most of everything to Shikamaru when he had handed him that lighter. Shikamaru knew this. He spoke to Kurenai sometimes, about Asuma and their situations. Sometimes he would visit her, help her. Anything to feel as though he’s there, giving peace to Asuma’s memory. Most understood it, and if they didn’t, they didn’t ask. The only one that had commented on it was Kiba, once.

He had been hesitant about driving at first — Kurenai didn’t have learner's black-on-white plates on the exterior of the car — but he was only driving to the house. Kurenai, of course, wouldn’t let him drive back.

Shikamaru held onto the steering wheel a little too tight. He forced his hands to relax whenever Kurenai glanced at them. Driving was not his forte, yet there was something shameful about being driven around by your older girlfriend, that made him at least want to learn.

“Take a right here.” Her voice was dry.

“Are you still having trouble with your backdoor?” Shikamaru asked.

The backdoor to her house had a tendency to jam unexpectedly. She couldn’t afford someone to fix it.

“Yes, a bit.”

“I can fix it.” Shikamaru said.

“Since when do you know how to fix doors?” Kurenai asked, teasingly.

As soon as she had told him about it, Shikamaru had gone home and researched it.

“I figured it out yesterday. How are you?”

Kurenai raised a brow, not looking at him, then “I’m fine, thank you.”

She looked tired. His mother had told me to never judge how a woman is or feels by the way she looks. She’d only told him once when he was little, and he’d never thought about it until he met Temari.

Everything about Kurenai seemed tied back. Maybe it was naïve to think, but he had somehow expected her to come out of his pregnancy and death looking sharp as a nail, as always. He stared at her sometimes, out of curiosity. Simple, childlike curiosity. He wondered what she had looked like at his age. Would she have been more beautiful? Would he have fallen for her?

“How is your girlfriend?”

Shikamaru gave pause. “She’s fine.”

“I hear she’s in university.”

“Yeah, she is.” Succeeding in every way she wanted him to.

“What does she study?”

Shikamaru couldn’t tell if she was simply trying to make conversation or genuinely interested. “Agricultural and Life Sciences.”

“Ah,” Kurenai said. “Smart girl…”

“Yeah,” Temari had always been an overachiever. “She is.”

“And what do you plan to do?”

Shikamaru glanced at her. Hands in lap, she looked forward. Her right hand held her left hand and he could see she was rubbing her fingers. She still wore her engagement ring.

“I don’t know.”

Asuma had asked him that often.

Shikamaru was accustomed to nagging and harassing, he had grown up prone to it, thanks to his mother. But whenever he had told Asuma ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I don’t care’, Asuma had just waited. The man had knifed himself into Shikamaru with just a patient face until Shikamaru himself was going through job options in his head. Jobs he didn’t even consider or want. Just something to say. Something to give him satisfaction. Then one week later, two weeks later, three months later, Asuma would look at him and ask again. Shikamaru never answered the same. Asuma was always satisfied with any answer, for a time.

Kurenai was not like Asuma, which was probably why they had been engaged. Opposites attract, right?

“Are you hungry?”

Shikamaru’s eyes flickered to Kurenai. “…Why?”

She was quiet, then, “I can make you something to eat when we get back.”

“Oh, no, thank you.”

“Are you sure?” She liked to cook and feed. It relieved stress. “You _are_ going to be fixing my back door.”

“Yeah. I’m fine.” He felt guilty.

“Then at least let me make you some tea when we get back.”

He didn’t reply, which was his form of acceptance.

Shikamaru’s hands clutched the steering wheel tighter, then relaxed. It was always odd driving through Konoha for him. It was as though a person could know exactly which part of the city they would be driving into by appearance. He knew exactly which road to take to drive into the rich part of Konoha, and which one to drive into the poor area.

His family lived on the outer skirts of Konoha, not because they were poor, but Shikamaru’s family actually owned a large estate of farming land. He grew up in a family of farmers. Every time he said that, he knew people imagined small peasant farmers, barely living off the essentials. But truth be told his family was wealthy. Another reason Temari liked to call him spoiled, which he then would remind her, she came from a richer family. She always said that didn’t count because she was a girl, she would naturally be given less. He had always laughed at that, though she never laughed back.

His family also cared for deer. The deer naturally occupy areas suitable for farming, which made the process a lot easier. Shikamaru didn’t understand the logic of it, but he knew that a long time ago in the Nara family, a man had to let deer take habitat on his land. And then it became a tradition. Now his family lives on a rice farm habituated by deer.

Truth be told, the idea of living an average life to become an old man on his family estate surrounded by dear and rice fields, was not at all unappealing to him. Yet, everyone had different ideas.

“How is school?”

“It’s alright.” His answer had become a habit.

“Do you enjoy it?”

He enjoyed the people there; his friends. The concept of school however, annoyed him. “It’s okay.”

“Are you alright?”

“Hm?”

“Are you alright?” She repeated. “This can be a very stressful time for a person. Your last year of high school, and such.”

He didn’t know if it was stressful or not, he had grown into the habit of putting himself in a mental comatose when it came to stress. Wanting to change the subject, he said instead “do you have more trouble opening your back door or closing it?”

She was quiet for a moment, then, “opening.”

When they arrived to the house, Shikamaru watched Kurenai exit and enter the porch steps. He watched her take her daughter, the soft, small body of a baby. He couldn’t see from here, but he already knew she had her mother’s eyes. Burning wood, Asuma had told him once, they were like burning wood. Shikamaru sighed, reaching into his pocket and holding onto the only thing that gave him more peace than a cigarette, his lighter.

* * *

 Jiraiya

The door was locked. Jiraiya didn’t know why he had expected it to be open. After rustling through his rucksack for what felt like half an hour, he managed to come across the key he prized most.

When he opened the door, he already knew Minato wouldn’t be home. Jiraiya had asked Tsunade, Minato would most likely be working tonight. The old man had walked through the corridor of the apartment building, taking in the lay out. They had changed the carpet in the halls and the pictures of boats in the lobby were replaced with replicated paintings of flowers. He couldn’t remember how old Naruto was now, but he could remember the carpet in the apartment building and pictures in the lobby.

When Jiraiya entered, he expected a different picture to what he had seen five odd years ago. But it was the same lay out. The walls were still beige, the furniture mahogany. The apartment still screamed wealth, yet modesty. It was small to disguise the emptiness. Jiraiya walked through the apartment, looking through the window he thought, nice view. The city spread from bellow. His city.

“ _Hello_?” He called out.

Where was Naruto? Would he be home? How old was he now? Surely, Naruto would be in his late teens. Jiraiya was unsure if he would be home at this time. He pictured in his head the little boy but older, drinking alcohol and looking a little less innocent. The picture unsettled him, and he shook it off.

How had Naruto grown?

There was a slow burst of sudden shyness and eagerness at the thought of seeing Naruto.

“ _Hello_?” He called out, again.

He was about to enter the hall when he heard noises. There was a series of stumbles, footsteps, and a voice? Then a door opened, fast footsteps and suddenly there was a young man before him.

Uzumaki Naruto, had grown. His eyes were round and big, Jiraiya had expected the boy to outgrow this childish quality, like his father had. But surely enough, he had too much of his mother in him, inheriting her shape. His jaw was stronger, and body fitter. He had the mark of a body that had battled through puberty, one way or another. He had also been darker skinned than the other boys when he was younger, but now was even more tanned. Jiraiya could see tan lines peeking from his low hanging pants, dark skin and beige skin next to each other like a colour palette. His birth marks had grown, from once light lines on his face to marks resembling a faded tattoo. They rested on his cheeks, smaller now compared to when his face was smaller and rounder. It suited him. He was good looking, not a traditional sense, in an exotic sense, that could take your interest.

“Hi.” His voice was weak. Surprised? Nervous?

Naruto stood in the hall that lead to the lounge room, staring at Jiraiya. His hair was messy. Why were his pants so casually low? Why was he breathing like that? The thoughts wondered through Jiraiya’s mind, but were shrugged off. It’s nothing.

“You grew.” Jiraiya said.

Naruto stared at him, wide eyes, unsure. “… Yeah.”

Doing what he did best, Jiraiya laughed. “Didn’t you miss your uncle?! What’s wrong with you, boy?!”

Naruto’s face started to crack, forming a grin.

Ignoring his aching muscles, Jiraiya pulled the boy into a hug, relishing the intimacy he had missed in so long.

“Where have you been?” Naruto asked, enjoying the hug.

“Oh, you know! Here. There. Everywhere.” The boy smelled like sweat, or maybe that was Jiraiya. He couldn’t tell.

“Dad said you’re staying here cause your publisher won’t publish your books anymore.” Naruto said

“Ah,” Jiraiya chuckled, letting him go. “Well he’s not wrong… Say, when is the old man coming back?” Naruto didn’t get to answer.

Jiraiya’s expression faltered, they were not alone. He had come from Naruto’s room, standing in the hall, looking at the scene in front of him with evident confusion.

Uchiha Sasuke, had also grown. Similar to Itachi, but not quite. Everything Itachi or Fugaku might’ve have been in another life. His eyes were harder than Itachi’s. Dark, like his fathers. Itachi had had his mother’s eyes, but not much else. Sasuke looked to have inherited more from his mother and everything from his father that Itachi hadn’t. He’d gained his brother’s leftovers. Sasuke had his father’s air of authority, covered in the blanket of his mother’s nonchalance. His body was smooth and pale, fit and hard, made out of meat rather than flesh. His hair was not as long as it had been when he was younger. It was shorter now, cropped closer to his head. He was tall too, taller than Naruto, by what? An inch? Jraiya could imagine that being quite annoying for his nephew. Puberty had climbed through this Uchiha, while ramming into Naruto. He was good looking, in every sense.

Jiraiya stared at him, expression changing. “Uchiha.” He was rather well-kept than Naruto, tidier hair, clothes and such.

Sensing the change in his uncle, Naruto had grown uneasy.

“What are you doing here?” Jiraiya asked. It was non-threatening, curios at best.

Dogs from different packs were not meant meet on any shared territory.

“I’m helping Naruto study.” Sasuke said, eyes flickering to the blonde. There was something Jiraiya was not aware of.

The old man couldn’t help but feel a pang of resentment. There was nothing worth hating about this boy, he was much better than his brother. Yet — **as every Uchiha does** — he had broken into an intimate situation and muddied it with his hand prints.

It was not his fault.

“I’m failing maths!” Naruto was louder than necessary, trying to grab Jiraiya’s attention kicking and screaming to him. Grinning, he continued. “Hate to admit it, but I should probably start putting effort into my education.”

Sasuke raised a brow, mockingly. Naruto gave him a look with his eyes, as if to say ‘ _oh, fuck off’_.

“I see.” Jiraiya was processing, trying to keep his attention on the situation as a whole. “And how did you two become friends?” 

The Uchiha stared at Jiraiya, then looked turned to Naruto.

“We’re not friends.” Naruto said. “He just helps me study.”

Sasuke still had the pretentious air of triviality his father had force fed him when he was young.

“Ah,” Jiraiya said, unable to stop himself. “I knew your brother.”

Sasuke was quiet for a moment, then, “many did.”

“Well,” he stared at Sasuke, and then laughed. “I guess you’re right.”

Sasuke stared at him and Naruto watched him stare.

“Well, I’m tired…” Jiraiya stretched, willing his body to move. “You boys can carry on. This old man needs his rest.”

He looked at neither boy when he passed, feeling their eyes on him. He heard neither talk when he was gone. He had brought and left a silence into this apartment. And when Jiraiya entered the guest room he did not look around. He did not admire the carpet or walls. He did not inspect the furniture for change, as he had done the rest of the apartment. He touched the bed for he lay on it, as if testing the reality of it. He took of all the clothes that he could — _deciding to shower later_ — and buried himself in the bed and under the covers.

He needed sleep, and when he heard the door close, he knew Sasuke had left.

* * *

 


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

 Jiraiya

It was pale, transparent and lay twisted, knotted. It was half covered by an empty, used cup of ramen, and lay above the other scraps and garbage. It reminded Jiraiya of plastic wrapping, wet: Transparent, visibly soaked, clinging to itself, and all in all, an unappealing, disgusting sight (when it was not yours, Jiraiya noted).

He was unaware of how long he stood there, when suddenly “You’re up early”.

Jiraiya dropped the empty wrapping of a chocolate bar into the garbage, and over the used condom. His foot left the peddle. The garbage container closed and his face broke into a smile.

“I know. I was just looking for food, I’m still tired.”

Minato looked the man up and down, fixing his cuffs. “Did you find something?”

“Barely. You need to buy more food.” Jiraiya said.

“I know.” Minato went to the fridge. Jiraiya wondered if he ever took that uniform off. “You can buy some groceries if you want, I can give you the money.”

“Tempting, but no, thanks. You should probably do it yourself.”

“Probably.” Minato hummed.

“So, when is Naruto getting up?”

Minato closed the fridge door. “Well,” He glanced at his watch. “Today he has school. It’s currently _5am_ … So, in an hour is alarm will ring. Then in another hour, he will get up.”

Jiraiya was impressed. “You know a lot for someone who’s barely home.”

“You know, if I didn’t know you better, I might take offense to that.”

* * *

 Naruto

“I’m _serious_.” Kiba said. “I could be a vet.”

“There’s no chance any university would accept you with your score.” Shikamaru said. “You’d be lucky to be a cleaner.”

“Shut the hell up! I could do it.” Kiba said. “My mum trains dogs and my sister’s a vet. That has to mean something.” The whole Inuzuka tribe revolved around animals. Dogs specifically.

“Yeah,” Scoff.  “It means whatever gene made your sister a genius, missed you.”

Kiba’s face shrivelled up like a fruit. Kiba, Shikamaru, Sai, Chouji, Shino, Lee and Naruto sat on the rooftop of the school. Since this was their last year of high school, they were entitled to the school rooftop. Most of them just ate and gossiped, but every now and then Kiba would start a fired argument or say something stupid enough to amuse them all.

 “Shut the fuck up.” The brunet muttered. “What are you going to do, anyway?”

Shikamaru scoffed. “I don’t know. At least I have options.”

Kiba snickered. “Yeah, _right_. You’ll probably end up doing nothing. Just living off your girlfriend.”

Shikamaru smiled. “At least I have a girlfriend.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m going to be an athlete.” Lee interrupted with a grin. “I plan to go to the Olympics and represent our country!”

“I don’t doubt it.” Shikamaru said. People could say what they wanted about Lee, but the boy was invincible. He could outrun a leopard if he willed it.

“Shout me out when you get a gold medal.” Naruto grinned.

“What are _you_ gonna be?” Kiba asked.

“Who? Me?” Naruto smiled.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know. Probably living in a dump, with Shikamaru.”

“I’ll be living with Temari, remember?” Shikamaru said. “I’ll be cooking at home and taking care of the children, while she can be the husband, working and making money.”

Kiba laughed. “Naruto, you need to find a husband.”

Naruto’s mouth pinched together and there was a light blush in his cheeks.

“I don’t think Naruto would be able to find a husband.” Sai said, smiling.

Kiba laughed. “He has better chance of finding a husband than he does a wife, I know that.”

Shikamaru watched them with an amused smile. He turned to Naruto, expecting him to be fired up, as usual. Instead, Naruto quietly ate his food.

Kiba chortled. “What are _you_ gonna do, weirdo?”

“I plan to be an artist.” Sai said.

Naruto looked up from his food with a snigger. “Don’t you need talent for that?” There it was.

“Don’t you need a dick?” Sai said, not missing a beat. “You won’t be able to find husband nor wife without a dick.”

“He won’t need a husband. He’s gonna be a police officer.” Shikamaru interrupted. “Just like his dad.”

“Really?” Sai titled his head at the blond.

“No,” his dad pretty much ruined that job option for him. “I don’t want to be.”

“I think you will be.” Shikamaru said. He leaned back, against the railing of the roof, with a lazy smile. “I can imagine you’ll be enrolling in the academy in a few years. No matter what you say.”

Naruto frowned. “No way. I’d rather write those adult books like my uncle.”

“Don’t you need to at least be able to write for that?” Kiba asked.

A smirk tugged on Naruto’s face and Shikamaru grinned. “Have you _read_ his uncles stuff?”

* * *

 Jiraiya

Jiraiya didn’t remember the last time he heard a phone ring that was meant for him. He lay knotted in between his blankets, like a child. The blinds were shut as tight as they could be. The room let in thin streams of light inside, little as possible. Jiraiya felt the ringing nearing closer to him with each sound. Travelling. From the lounge room. Down the hall. Past the bathroom. To the guest room. To his ear. Into his head.

After letting the phone ring, stop, then restart, thrice, he knew there was no avoiding it.

“Hello?” The marble floors of the kitchen felt cold under his feet. He wore little but his boxers and a tank top.

“Hello?” A voice replied.

Jiraiya sighed. “What do you want, Hatake?”

“Took you long enough to answer.”

“What do you want?” This time there was a smile in his words.

“I’m done with my classes for the day.” Kakashi said. “What are you doing?”

“I was sleeping.”

“We spend a third of our lives sleeping.” Kakashi said, teasingly.

Jiraiya smiled, stretching his back and neck, hearing his bones crack in protest. “If I had it my way, it would be a lot more than third.”

Kakashi laughed softly. “I’m not an idiot. I know you won’t be here for long.”

“It’s the smart man that plays the fool.”

“Drink with me.”

Jiraiya laughed. “Did you miss your teacher that much?”

“I missed my drinking partner.”

* * *

 Naruto

Kiba had taken them drinking. The brunet had convinced them that it was a must. Shikamaru had left early, saying he had a date with Temari. Shikamaru was fortunate like that, having the excuse of the girlfriend 24/7. Naruto was not, so he had ended up drinking. He had not drunk a lot, just enough to satisfy his cohort. (After all the thought of coming home drunk to his uncle was unappealing.) And after they had spent so long to find a bar that would uncaringly give alcohol to minors, he had had no choice.

Naruto was used to the silence of his apartment. But something about having his uncle living with them, made the silence scream in his ear. It was empty. He stretched his arms, feeling his stomach growl. After closing the door of the guest room he headed to the kitchen.

Naruto dragged himself to the fridge, watching the door pull open to reveal nothing. His father was used to eating at his work, and Naruto had grown accustomed to instant ramen and sharing food with friends. The fridge was empty, just like the apartment.

* * *

 Jiraiya

“I got you a present.” Jiraiya swallowed another cup of sake. The alcohol was making his head buzz, and god, he needed that.

“Oh?” Kakashi asked, running his finger on the edge of his cup. “What is it?”

“I was going to give it to Minato—

Kakashi laughed. “Thanks.”

—But I don’t think he’ll appreciate it. It’s better for you.”

“What is it?” Kakashi repeated. “Some of your illegal supplements?”

Jiraiya furrowed his eyebrows. “Hush. Don’t be funny.” The bar they were in was dingy and dark. When Jiraiya spoke he could taste cigarette smoke in his mouth. He did not smoke. It had annoyed him to hell at first, but now it was drowned perfectly with the taste of alcohol. “Something I won in a poker tournament.”

Kakashi laughed a lot when he drank. “Since when do you play in tournaments?”

“I say tournament. I mean a basement one of my other nomad friends led me to.” Jiraiya explained. He took another drink of his cup. “I’m still hazy on the details. But… I think you’ll like it.”

“Is it a woman?” Kakashi asked.

“No.”

“Then it can’t be that impressive.”

Jiraiya grinned. “It’s better. It won’t break your heart.”

Kakashi snickered, “everything can break your heart. Now, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Okay, okay.” Jiraiya watched the waitress walk past their table, momentarily distracted by her short skirt. “…Alright… It’s a bottle of alcohol.”

Kakashi watched him with a soft smile. “That’s all? What type?”

Jiraiya smiled back. “It’s homemade. Potent stuff.”

“What’s it made from?”

Jiraiya’s eyebrows furrowed, smile intact he said “you know… I don’t… He didn’t go into detail about it… Something with … fruit… maybe…?”

Kakashi sniggered. “Sounds amazing.”

“It is. I had two sips. Not my type of thing, but still.” Jiraiya said. “It was very effective. I didn’t like the taste. I thought it was disgusting. But the maker kept going on about how amazing the taste was…”

“When can I have it?”

“I can take you back to the apartment later tonight.”

Kakashi laughed. “Old man, are you hitting on me?”

Jiraiya laughed. “Maybe in another time. You’re not my type.”

Kakashi waved to the waitress, ordering more alcohol. He watched her slender hands pour it, and only spoke when she was out of view. “You know, I don’t think it’s professional for a teacher to go to the home of his student with his drunken uncle in order to deal alcohol.”

Jiraiya laughed back. “It’s not dealing, it’s a present.”

“As long as Naruto or Minato don’t know.” Kakashi said. “I’ve had enough of students spreading rumours about me.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, there was a rumour once that I had sex with Gai.”

Jiraiya let out a laugh so loud at least half the bar turned to their table. Kakashi watched in feigned amusement.

“Did you?”

“No.”

Jiraiya laughed again, quieter. “Pity… He’s very fit, and seems like a pleaser.”

“ _Haha_ ,” Kakashi mocked. “I’m pretty sure it was your favourite nephew who started that rumour.”

Jiraiya laughed again. “How is he?”

“You tell _me_. You live with him.”

“I mean in school. It’s his last year. Even a distant uncle worries…”

Kakashi did not want to talk about work. But he tried to piece his thoughts together. Uzumaki Naruto. “I suppose he’s alright… by his own standards. He’s doing better than some, but I wouldn’t put my hopes on the best universities offering him enrolment.”

“Is he still fighting?”

Kakashi pursed his lips in thought. “He was in a fight with Sasuke a few weeks ago, but that’s it.”

Jiraiya raised his brows. “Really?”

Kakashi tilted his head. “Is that surprising?”

“No…” Jiraiya frowned. “I suppose not… It’s just that I found them together at Minato’s apartment.”

“Doing what?”

“Studying, apparently.” Jiraiya answered.

Kakashi furrowed his eyebrows at the image. He found it hard to believe Naruto was studying anywhere, let alone with the Uchiha boy. But he did not have the time or sobriety to think over it. “What about you? How are you?” Kakashi watched Jiraiya’s lips tug into a smile.

“The same as ever.”

“How is Tsunade?” Kakashi asked.

“She got a promotion.” Jiraiya said. “Still single though…”

Kakashi laughed. “Don’t get your hopes up. She’s well past the point of starting a family.”

Jiraiya scoffed. “Aren’t we all…? I could do with some company though…” Jiraiya leaned in on the table. “Hey, I heard they closed down that brothel. Is it true?”

Kakashi nodded. “Unfortunately.”

Jiraiya hissed. “Damn. This city is changing too damn much. F— Shit… Where’s the alcohol? _Waitress_!”

A short and stumpy girl came over, refilling their drinks and trying hard to ignore both men’s gaze. “Is that all?”

Jiraiya smiled. “Yes, thank you.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes at the blush on her cheeks, watching her scatter as though she wasn’t only doing this for the money. “I haven’t gotten laid in so long.”

Jiraiya drank heavily, and then sighed. He was so drunk, yet not drunk enough.

* * *

Naruto 

Naruto glided through the apartment and to the door as soon as he heard the knock. Sasuke was supposed to have arrived at least half an hour ago. It had been surprisingly difficult to convince the Uchiha to come, even more so to bring food. Ever since Jiraiya had come to stay, he had been seeing less and less of the dark haired boy.

Naruto swung the door open. “You’re late!” Sasuke could not reply before Naruto snatched the plastic bags from his hands and peered into them.

The Uchiha was about three steps into the apartment when he heard “What the hell?! This is _Shoyu_!”

“They didn’t have Miso.”

“I asked for _Miso_.” Naruto whined. There were three packets of Shoyu ramen in this bag. Shoyu ramen was too salty and didn’t even contain pork. The pork was one of the best parts of Ramen.

“You should be grateful I even bought it, moron.”

Naruto sighed, muttering an annoyed “fuck you” and walking to the kitchen where he would have to consume this crime against nature. He didn’t understand why he invited Sasuke over, or expected anything other than a fight and a fuck.

Naruto took the ramen cup to the kitchen counter. This packet was impossible to open. Where did Sasuke even buy it? It took such force for Naruto to open the packet, that when it opened pieces of dried noodles flew across the kitchen. Great. He took to opening the sachets when he felt a familiar, toned body press against his.

 “You’re going to eat first?”

They had had sex regularly up to this point, at least regularly for them. Jiraiyas arrival had caused a spur in their cycle, and yet even before that, Naruto’s body reacted insanely. And judging from what he had seen in the Uchiha, he was the same. Sasuke’s hands were on Naruto’s hips, impatient. Naruto’s mouth shut tight, quiet for a moment.  And then quieter— _more controlled_ — than before, he said “I’m hungry.”

“You’re always hungry.”

Naruto said when all the sachets were poured into the ramen cup. “I didn’t have lunch.”

Naruto expected Sasuke’s hands to find their way down his pants, or up his shirt. He expected to find himself pressed on the kitchen counter and fucked there, dry. Instead, the wave of bodily heat left him.

“When will the pervert be home?”

If it was not for the rucksack and messy room, Naruto would’ve assumed Jiraiya had left for good again. “My **_Uncle_** , will return sometime tonight… Probably.”

“And when will you finish with the ramen?”

“I dunno… Half an hour?”

Sasuke did not reply. He sat himself on the couch aimlessly watching TV. His impatience was purposely evident.

The water was boiling now. Naruto took it and poured it into the ramen cup, watching the steam erect and vanish. It takes instant ramen 5 – 10 minutes to fuse with the water and become edible.

After two minutes of silence and waiting, Sasuke spoke. “I don’t even know why you eat that shit.”

“Shut up. It tastes good.”

“You’ll become fat.” Sasuke said.

“Yeah, like _you_.” Naruto spat back.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Shut up!”

Before Sasuke could response something hit him in the head. “What the f—” Naruto had thrown one of the Shoyu Ramen packets at him. Then there was a mouth on his and a body on top. Sasuke found himself pressed tightly against Naruto with their lips and tongues forcing themselves on each other. He had almost forgotten how long it had been since they’d touched each other like this. A week seemed a year in the mind of a teenage boy.

He let the blond climb over him. Naruto straddled the other’s legs until Sasuke was lying back and basically in Naruto’s lap. His fingers worked themselves under Naruto’s shirt, crawling over tanned skin and softened muscles, until they found his ass. He felt Naruto grunt into his mouth, grinding with the motion of his hands. Sasuke always knew how to touch him. Often it made Naruto wonder exactly how many boys he’d had experience with, though his thoughts were always laid back when he felt Sasuke’s mouth on him. He rubbed their crotches, feeling Sasuke’s hardened cock through the material which often very quickly became too god damn thick. His pace quickened. He felt a shiver run down his spine.

Sasuke muttered “hurry up.”

“Shut up.” Naruto’s hands found Sasuke’s belt. His mouth continued to trail wet marks up and up Sasuke’s neck, and then back to a mouth that more than openly invited him in. Why was this belt so fucking difficult?

Sasuke’s hand found its way into Naruto’s thick hair and gripped. The belt finally let loose and just as he was about to take the pants off every part of his body paused. Fuck.

Sasuke’s eyes opened. “What?”

“…I ran out of condoms…” It was safety procedure.

Sasuke did not reply, until “I don’t care.”

Sasuke’s tongue slid back into his mouth. Naruto tempted his tongue, but, he tore his mouth away. “I’ll go see if there’s any left.”

“Do—

“I’ll be right back.”

Naruto basically tore himself away from the other boy, leaving him lying on the couch, hard, ruffled and as always, annoyed.

The Uzumaki opened the door to his room, running to his nightstand. Since his dad was not home often, he didn’t see why he should put real effort into hiding his condoms. He was eighteen anyway. Though, he hesitated, he should probably store them somewhere else now that Jiraiya is here. Naruto scrambled through his desk drawer, through notes, his phone, rubbish and everything else he could feel. He reached the back of the drawer hoping for a lucky draw like last time, and found nothing. Shit.

Where the fuck would he get condoms? It’s not like Minat—

_Jiraiya._

The guest room was across the hall and one room away from his. When he entered, instantaneously he felt intruding. This was _his_ apartment, but Jiraiya’s room. Naruto shook it off. He wouldn’t be surprised to find the old man had searched through Naruto things multiple times. Besides, it was not as though Jiraiya had made the place home. The room was as messy as ever, since his uncle’s arrival. The only difference was the rucksack, laid messily next to the bed.

He ran his hands through the little pockets first, ignoring the wave of guilt. There was nothing odd: Used toothbrush, unused comb, etc. He checked the inside compartment of the bag, it felt empty until his fingers slid on something hard. He pulled out a small, metal container. He shook it and heard an echo of clanging. Mints?

“Naruto?” Sasuke called. The impatience was evidently growing into frustration.

“Hold on!” Naruto put the container back in, shoving his hand into the rucksack and hoping for the best.

Naruto’s hand thrashed at the bottom of the rucksack. Logically, that’s where condoms would be. His hopes were nearly lost, until his hand felt a familiar plastic texture. _Yes_! Naruto pulled his hand out of the rucksack ferociously, leaving him in horror as he watched more than a few objects hurl out and across the floor. Shit.

He scrambled through the objects. There was a spare, unwashed shirt, an issue of one of Jiraiya’s novels, a wallet and hip flask (which was almost empty). He stuffed everything back inside the rucksack, praying that Jiraiya would not notice the evident change.

Naruto moved his hand to raise himself from the floor, as soon as he did so his hand made contact with something hard and smooth. His hand slipped and his entire body went down.

“What the fuck?” He eyed the floor ferociously, finding a glass bottle.

Naruto raised himself and grabbed the glass bottle. It was small, about the same size as the hip and almost completely full. The liquid inside was watery, green looking and resembled poison he saw in TV shows. Alcohol?

Naruto unscrewed the lid and took a sniff. His nose scrunched up and his face withdrew away from the bottle. It smelled potent… But not bad. He took a sip. The liquid —tasting familiar to alcohol— left a weird numbing sensation in his mouth and burn down his throat. His taste buds healed almost instantly and now felt exhilarated.

“Naruto!”

Fuck. “Coming!” Jiraiya would have already noticed his things rummaged through. He put the bottle to his lips again, and downed at least half of it. After all, he was hungry.

* * *

 Jiraiya

“We should message Minato.” Kakashi watched Jiraiya stumble on the footpath.

“He’s working!” Jiraiya spat, undoing his zipper and relieving himself in the bush.

“He works too much.” Kakashi smiled. “Here, I’ll send him this.” Kakashi pointed his phone at the old man and pressed a button.

“Sheesh…” Jiraiya slurred. “No wonder you two don’t stay in touch.”

“I’m actually his favourite student.” Kakashi said, typing on his phone. Both men were cursed with high tolerance to alcohol (provided by long years of drinking), and had basically gone broke buying the alcohol that had put them in this state.

“I’m sure he tells that to all his students.” Jiraiya laughed.

Kakashi had wanted to be a police officer, originally. He had gone into the academy and become one of Minato’s favourites, which was probably why the blond man had been so disappointed when Hatake decided to go into teaching. After all, it provided more vacations and less work. Jiraiya could’ve been a teacher, Kakashi had thought, yet even that job had proved too much work for the old man.

“Is he answering?” Jiraiya asked.

“Not yet.” Kakashi answered.

Jiraiya’s legs started to wobble and he leaned on the wall of a closed café. “I think I’m gonna vomit.”

“C’mon.” Kakashi said. 

* * *

 Naruto

“ _Naruto_.” Sasuke was under him, angry.

Naruto tried to make words. His face was red, his stomach felt in a twist, and when he did speak it took surprising effort. “I’m… _trying_ …!” Naruto’s pants were down. Sasuke’s hands were on him, touching him everywhere they could. Now they were on Naruto’s dick. The dark haired boy’s mouth had been on Naruto’s neck too, sucking and licking. Naruto felt the way the dark haired boy moved his body, invitingly. He could feel Sasuke’s hard on under him, the way his (surprisingly soft) hands stroked him, slowly, then fast, twisting and turning. The only problem was—the reason Sasuke was so annoyed was—he just… couldn’t… be erect.

“You’re not supposed to **_try_** , idiot. That’s the point.” Naruto had never seen Sasuke so personally offended. If the situation differed Naruto might’ve laughed.

“I dunno— I just—…”

Naruto felt a shove on his chest and his back hit the couch. He watched Sasuke—who was no longer under him—doing up his belt. The Uzumaki pulled his pants up groggily, trying desperately to do his belt.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but you’re sweating and I’m not turned on.”

“Basta—

“What’s wrong with you?”

Naruto took too long pulling those words apart only to manage an “I’m fine.”

“You look like shit.”

“You always say I look like shit.”

“More than usual.” Sasuke said standing up, over the couch. He looked him up and down, unimpressed.

Naruto put his head in his hands. Then after a quiet moment, “can you get me some water?”

Neither said anything and Naruto assumed it was time for Sasuke to leave. Instead he heard an aggravated sigh and footsteps. He heard the running tap and then there was a glass of water in front of his face. Naruto took it, muttering a ‘thanks’ so quietly he doubted the other even heard.

Naruto slowly drank the water, and then held the cup in his hands, avoiding eye contact.

“ _Naruto_.” Sasuke’s voice was strong and demanding, like the voice of a parent scolding a child. A voice demanding answers.

Naruto could say nothing, feeling movement in his stomach. When he did speak his voice was hitched, “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

* * *

 Minato

Minato was not having a good day.

His feet hurt. He had spent almost all of the day arguing with district officers and avoiding public comments. He had spent more than most of the day avoiding his phone. Every text message or picture sent by his so called ex-student, Hatake Kakashi. Because every text message he received was an address to a different bar, or a suggestion and series of excuses to get away from work, and every picture he received was a picture of his ex-student, Hatake Kakashi drunk in a different position in a different place, while his son’s so called uncle either peed or drooled somewhere different in the background. Each picture displayed them on slightly more intoxicated, until Minato had a gallery on his phone of an intoxicated downward spiral he was ashamed to witness.

 _Minato was not having a good day_.

He wanted to take his uniform off, maybe in that sense no one would recognise him. He wanted to be home, to see his son for once in a while. Instead he walked through the police station, watching as every deputy and officer glanced at his suit, face, than each other. So, he thought, this is where Naruto inherited his wayward nature from.

“They’re in cell four…” The officer led him down a hallway of cells, each with its own kind of criminals. Nothing special. Prostitutes. Drunks. Bad drivers.

When he arrived to cell four, he saw two prostitutes glancing at him with glazed eyes, one passed out homeless man, and two of the most ridiculous people he had had the un-fortune of calling his family.

Jiraiya’s head rested on Kakashi’s shoulder. The old man looked a mess, his hair was wild, there were bruises on his face, and he had a cut lip. His whole body screamed of accidents. Kakashi next to him looked relaxed despite the bruise on his cheek and cut on his temple. He had always had a nasty habit of finding amusement in every situation, and when Minato watched the man’s face turn to him, forming a sort of awkward, yet amused smile. He had a desperate urge to get in the cell and punch him.

* * *

 Naruto

Naruto was drunk, and sickening within the minute.

He knelt over the toilet, vomiting. Whatever the idiot had drunk had been potent and effective. Sasuke had taken one sniff of the bottle and decided to not open it. Meanwhile, the idiot had drunk more than half of it. If the situation had been different, he would have left. Yet there he was, Uchiha Sasuke, kneeling next to this moron while he vomited into a toilet.

“Get it out of your system.” It was more of a command than comfort. Naruto did not protest.

Somewhere through Naruto’s rambling of _‘I don’t want my dad to find me like this’_ and _‘Jiraiya can’t find me like this_ ’, it had become Sasuke’s duty to sober the young man up before either arrived. Though he didn’t understand how he could do that since every passing minute Naruto was entering deeper state of intoxication.

“I’m not drunk.” Naruto muttered, face flushing.

“You’re an idiot.”

“But I’m not drunk.” Naruto let out before vomiting again.

Sasuke sighed.

* * *

 

Sasuke fixed the lounge room. At least all that needed to be fixed so as not to raise suspicion. He put whatever pillows had fallen off the couch back. The thrown ramen cup away. There was a vomit stain on the marble floor of the kitchen Sasuke was not proud to find himself cleaning. The moron had tried to use the counter to balance himself. _‘I can walk by myself’_ he had said. Sasuke hadn’t even been angry to see him vomit on the floor from whatever ‘vertigo’, just exasperated.

He picked the unused condom off the floor, stared at it for a second too long and then rolled it into his fist, throwing it into the garbage container. He paused for a second, staring at the instant ramen. It had been cold for at least twenty minutes now. He left it.

When he entered the bathroom Naruto was still bent over the toilet, though now he lay there with his head on his arm, resting.

“Are you done?”

Naruto grunted.

The dobe was most kinds of every drunk. Sloppy. Emotional. Sentimental. The list could go on. The moron had spent at least ten minutes trying to sing a remediation of ‘ _Ue o Muite Arukō’_ to Sasuke, and another twenty minutes trying to act it out with his hands. All of this, in-between vomiting and repeating ‘I’m not drunk’.

He found solace in the hope that Naruto would not remember tonight.

“Dobe, you have to get up.”

As if on cue, Naruto started humming the tune of ‘ _Ue o Muite Arukō_ ’. Sasuke watched him rock his head around to the tune, then knelt down, putting his arms around Naruto’s waist, urging him to rise. He got the boy to move, though getting him to stand would prove a challenge.

“I’m hungry.” Naruto protested.

“You can eat in the morning.” The plan was to get him to bed, where he would pass out and the damage would be over.

Eventually, through straddling and prying, he got Naruto up, arm over the Uchiha’s shoulder and out of the bathroom. His bedroom was not far away. It was odd for Sasuke to have him in such proximity in this state. This was the closest they’d been, platonically. All the while he heard Naruto hum into his shoulder in tune; ‘Happiness lies beyond the clouds’.

Sasuke managed to walk Naruto to his room, turn on the lights and somehow guide him to his bed. He had been in Naruto’s room before, and every instant he had an urge to clean it. Everything was strayed, in a way, it suited the blond. As soon as Sasuke stopped supporting him, Naruto fell onto his bed with a grunt and series of moans. He buried his arms under his pillow, moving slowly and inelegantly. Naruto’s face was submerged in the pillow. Sasuke could only barely hear his humming, forever singing.

‘I look up as I walk, so that the tears won't fall’.

The bathroom was a mess. The idiot had knocked over almost everything, and in an effort to wash his face had caused at least three puddles of water in the bathroom.  Sasuke used paper towels to clean them, going through at least half of the Namizake supply. The floors were marble, which made it easier. Along with this, he was thankful he didn’t have to clean the toilet. After thirty-five minutes of wiping the floor he took to gathering everything Naruto had knocked over or spilled, back into its place. This included every toothbrush, toothpaste, comb, moisturizer and other necessity he had decided to fling in an effort to prove his sobriety.

It had been another twenty minutes searching for every item, and while picking up the toothbrush holder, when he heard a clang followed by a loud noise he recognised all too well.

When Sasuke entered the kitchen he found Naruto on the floor with spilled ramen around him.

The idiot struggled to move, but when saw Sasuke he paused, like a mouse playing dead to fool a cat. Then after half a minute of staring, he uttered a soft “I was hungry.”

Sasuke did not have enough time to clean this moron’s clothes from the ramen stains. He took Naruto by his shoulders. “You’re going back to your room. If you give me more trouble, I don’t care what happens when your father comes back. I leave.”

Naruto stared up at him with big blue eyes, and murmured something that Sasuke took as an ‘okay’.

* * *

 Jiraiya

The sound of the car engine was calming to him. When Naruto was a baby, he was always screaming. Jiraiya remembered how many times Minato would pack the baby in the car and drive once at least around the block. Each time he would come home with a peaceful, sleeping baby in his arms. Jiraiya had never understood the magic of it, until now. If it was not for the awkward and unpleasant silence, he might’ve fallen asleep.

“I hope you’re happy.”

He was not happy, but neither was Minato. Minato was never happy. It was not Jiraiya’s fault he had accidentally provoked a man by calling his wife a ‘tomato looking fuck’. It was not his fault Jiraiya had ended up having to fight that man, and lost miserably, (because he was drunk and to the point of passing out.) Poor Kakashi had tried to rescue him and ended up being attacked too. They’d both been beaten by the same one man, at the same time… It was no one’s _fault_.

“I pray that this doesn’t rub off on Naruto.” Minato said, then muttering. “Even though I _know_ it will.”

“Calm down.” Jiraiya’s voice was raspy and dry. “He’ll be fine.”

“And the fact Kakashi was involved…” Minato continued. “It’s an embarrassment. You know, Naruto has _matured_. I haven’t had to pick him up from the station in god knows how long. And you? _You’re older than me_.”

“I was just trying to discover myself. Live life. Calm down.”

“Discover yourself in art or something.”

“I did.” Jiraiya said. “Then my publisher decided he didn’t want it anymore.” Jiraiya started to fake sob. He pretended not to notice Minato rolling his eyes.

“I have so much work to do—

“You always have work to do.” Jiraiya drawled out. “Spend some time with your son. He’s going to turn eighteen and leave you forever.”

“And go where?” Minato asked. “With _you_?”

Jiraiya let out a laugh, sounding like a barking dog. “God knows! I hope not.”

The old man leaned his head against the window, eyes closed. If for a second, he almost felt at peace.

After what felt like two hours, the car slowed, and the humming of the engine stopped. He opened his eyes. Minato did not wait to see if Jiraiya was awake. He undid his belt and exited the car.

The walk back to the apartment was silent. Minato walked three steps ahead. Jiraiya’s state made him incapable to keep up with a normal pace. All the while Minato spoke.

“I hope Naruto’s asleep.”

Jiraiya grunted.

“If he’s in the lounge room, try at least to hide your state.” Minato said.

That’s impossible, Jiraiya thought.

“He’s doing alright in school lately… He’s got a good group of friends… He doesn’t need to be thrown off— And seriously, I can’t believe you involved his teacher!”

Kakashi had been the one to call _him_ , Jiraiya thought.

They reached the door of the apartment, and Minato pulled out his key. “I’m so glad Naruto had matured.” He put the key in the lock, and turned. “If this was two years ago, he probably wouldn’t have even gone to school today.” The door opened. “I jus—

Jiraiya’s eye’s fluttered up when the ranting came to a halt. The old man poked his head around the door frame to see what Minato was seeing. Uzumaki Naruto laid on the hall floor between the lounge room and kitchen. A liquid of god only knew what, came from Naruto and left a trail that looked to run into the kitchen. Naruto’s face was flushed with redness and his eyes looked watery and tired, similar to Jiraiya’s. The boy stared awestruck at his father and uncle, while none other than Uchiha Sasuke held him under the arms and appeared to be trying to drag him down the hall.

Minato did not move, even when Jiraiya started to choke out a laugh.

* * *

 


	8. Chapter 8

* * *

  _Sasuke_

“Naruto! Sasuke! _Enough_!”

Sasuke’s punch hit Naruto like a cannon, causing the Uzumaki to tumble.

He knew he would get in trouble for it. Iruka was always on Naruto’s side. Even when it was so obvious the idiot was the one who started it. The moron had provoked him. It was not Sasuke’s fault, he was an Uchiha. He had to salvage his pride, _dignity_. Then the idiot had had the stupidity to shove him.

What did he expect?

Okay, sure, it had been more of a nudge. But it was all the same.

It would end. Iruka would sit Sasuke down and explain to him how he needed to be more patient with kids like Naruto. And Sasuke would stay quiet and pretend to process the information, all the while wondering why teachers treaded so lightly around the blond and when he would next be able to fight the idiot.

“I said **_ENOUGH_**!”

Naruto was back, hurdling himself into Sasuke. He’d been trying to land a punch on the Uchiha, but there was a stumble, a bad block and a push.

They were in the art room— _the class of freedom_ —it was only natural they would end up going wild in it. The walls were all brick, except one with windows from top to bottom. They were tinted, so no one outside could see what was happening in. It was notorious for catching teachers or students staring at themselves or fixing their hair. It was a stupid, pretentious and an unnecessary architectural decision, Sasuke had decided, and as he started to feel the impact, he remembered his brother’s only and most important advice about collision. _Protect your head._

He turned his body fast, right arm over his head. The impact was hard, then weak. A break. Then he fell. He heard a shattering noise, followed by a hard, loud, thump, and knew before everyone else did that something on his body had been damaged.

Sasuke had not realised his eyes were closed until he opened them, having to blink away crumbs of glass. He’d gone through the window.

The boy wanted to rub his hands over his body, to scratch away the uncomfortable shards of glass, latching onto his skin and crawling into his wounds. The skin on his leg was broken from impact with the concrete, leaving a bright red mark, as though a patch of red silk lay on his leg.

The small class of twelve year olds did not react. Could not. He struggled to stand up, confused. Why were they looking at him like that? Sakura looked like she could cry any second. It was the first time Sasuke had seen Shikamaru genuinely intrigued, and Kiba looked _thrilled_.

And then, Naruto. He had never seen the blond look at him like that, agape. His eyes held shock, and something else. Fear?

It was when he was standing—when Naruto’s straining face travelled downwards—did Sasuke actually look at himself.

Oh, Sasuke watched the blood run down his arm, _fuck_.

* * *

Kiba 

Kiba worked at a fast food place for money. Walking home was always the hardest, especially in the summer. The heat clung to him, burning onto his skin and dragging the sweat from his body. He was tanned— _tanner than Naruto_ — yet so sensitive. (How much money had he spent on sunscreen?) Even the concrete under his shoes felt hot.

It was this reason why he decided to take the bus home. Shino had his licence, but Kiba knew he would not drive him. The only other person he knew who had a licence was Sakura. So, he decided to take the bus home.

It would take at least an hour before the bus arrived to take him home. Yet, Kiba was willing to wait. The thought of shade appealed to him—under the roof of the bus stop—though it wouldn’t protect him from the heat. The bus stop had only a bench and inwardly curved roof, supported by a pole on either side. His work was on the outer skirts of Konoha, so he had not seen many he knew taking the bus there, or returning.

Suigetsu had his short hair tied back in a loose bun and wore a sweaty tank top and shorts, showing his surprisingly toned body, ever so slim. The heat scratched Suigetsu’s skin and left trails of sweat, as he sat on the bench. Swinging his legs back and forth, he smiled up at Kiba.

He had the expression of a man playing poker and winning, on the face of a boy barely over seventeen.

The brunet frowned, sitting as far from the other he could. Suigetsu’s eyes followed him, sensing the discomfort. After a moment of inspection, he felt Suigetsu’s eyes turn away and the thin smile turned into a pout.

 

* * *

_Sasuke_

Sasuke’s arm hurt. The wrapping choked it. More than his arm, his shoulder hurt. The strap of his school-bag weighed too heavily on it and walking home was proving too painful to bear. He wasn’t supposed to have gone to school for another few days, but the boredom of his own home suffocated him. He was twelve. He needed movement and noise. So, in the end when he had begged his father to let him go to school earlier than recommended, Fugaku had let him.

Not a lot had talked to him when he had come back. A few girls had come up and asked if he was ‘all right’, but that was about it. Even Naruto hadn’t approached him. The idiot had been avoiding him, thinking he was slick. Sasuke had to repeatedly remind himself, he did not care.

When he arrived home Sasuke knew his parents were not there— or at least if they were they were all the way on the other side of the complex. When he was younger his room had been close to his parents, but as he had aged he had felt a need to separation. Now he lived all the way on the other side of their Uchiha complex, near Itachi’s room.

Sasuke slid the door open to his brother’s room, peeking. Itachi was not yet home.

Sasuke let his bag fall of his shoulders, landing on the floor with a thud, and entered. Once or twice he had explored the room. The futon, always neat in the corner, the desk, covered neatly in notebooks (that Sasuke never bothered to open). The dark coloured drawers, and windows that were never closed. It was normal. The first time he had ventured into his brother’s room, he had opened the door, and left crying. He had been eight, and the guilt had been overwhelming. The second time, he had searched the room for exactly two or three minutes before leaving, because he had grown bored, (and not at all because he had felt bad). He had been eleven.

Sasuke pulled the dresser drawer open. Cigarettes. Spare note books, never used. Hair ties. He searched the other drawer, clambering his hand around. Feeling through the folded clothes, until there was nothing left to feel. He had all but give up until he reached the third drawer, under the hair brush and tissues, he gripped onto something familiar. Sasuke pulled out a small metal container.

Sasuke clawed it open. The lid flew off and he juggled it back into grip. There were two pills, both copper coloured, thick and round shaped. Sasuke did not know much about his brother’s pills, but he knew these ones were not the ones he was searching for. He had tried these copper ones before, they tasted disgusting. He had been bruised from top to bottom on his left shin in a fight and needed something to dull the pain, the copper pill had done nothing but make his mouth taste bad. He had wanted the capsules: The small, green capsules that his brother had had. The ones that numbed Sasuke to the brink, and then rewarded his theft with nausea, headaches and a flood of anxiety.

Sasuke closed the container and put it back. On the way out he grabbed his bag, ignoring the pang in his arm. Fuck.

* * *

 Kiba

This was the quietest Kiba had been in a while. Kiba had heard he talked a lot, Shikamaru often complained that the Inuzuka spoke more than Naruto. Kiba had fought that for a long time until even Naruto had told him to stop talking once. When he waited for buses he liked to tête-à-tête with others. He liked old people the most; they usually had the most to say. He liked least to talk to girls; they always had the least to say, at least to him.

“Thirsty?”

Suigetsu’s hand stretched out towards Kiba, holding a water bottle.

Kiba looked at the water, ignoring the dryness in his throat when he said “no.”

Suigetsu shrugged and with a smile pulled back his arm, opening the bottle and drinking. When he was done he pulled the bottle away from his mouth and said “whatever, you probably have dog saliva anyway.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.” Suigetsu teased.

Kiba said nothing. The other was always looking for a fight or attention. He turned back to the road, trying to find interest in the pavement.

Suigetsu sounded smug. “See? All bark and no bite.”

Kiba used to fight a lot. He remembered when he was younger, getting into fights with Naruto, Sasuke, anyone, really. He barely won, but he won more than Naruto. Though around the age of thirteen or fourteen he stopped, he would’ve stopped earlier if it hadn’t been for his competitive streak with Naruto. Ironically, Naruto never even saw him. The Uzumaki had only ever seen Sasuke. The two boys had been trying to kill each other and Kiba had been running after them yelling ‘I can kill you too!’ It took Naruto two or three years after Kiba, to give up on fights. And Kiba was now glad he did not follow. Though he didn’t like to admit, at this point the Uzumaki could pretty easily win against him.

However, Kiba still had his pride, and his temper. He did not fight, but the brunet had never lost his voice.

His train of thought was interrupted by Suigetsu’s mocking laugh.

“Look, that’s you.”

Following Suigetsu’s finger, Kiba found himself staring at a dog taking a shit on the other side of road. The mutt had matted fur and half an ear cut off. It lifted its head, staring back at the boys while it finished.

Kiba’s face flushed. “What the fuck? Shut the hell up!”

Suigetsu laughed. “It looks just like you.”

Kiba watched the dog gallop away. “You’re fucking stupid. I’m not an animal.”

“You may as well be a dog,” Suigetsu said. “I hate dogs.”

Kiba felt his face heating up. “Why? They remind you too much of yourself?”

Suigetsu looked back at him, unimpressed. “They smell, and shit everywhere. Just like you.”

“Fuck off!”

Suigetsu stared up at Kiba with a smile. “Make me.”

That was enough to shut Kiba up. The brunet, writhing, turned back to the road, wondering when exactly the bus would come.

“See? All bark and no bite.” Suigetsu repeated.

“F—

“You should have taken my offer.” Suigetsu sounded smug, and scoffing. As though he had been the one to reject Kiba.

Kiba’s expression turned crude. The bus would arrive in an hour or so. He tried to imagine by some miracle it would arrive early, at that moment, saving him from the humiliation. It was awkward for him to think about that moment, and even more so to discuss it with _him_.

The ages of fourteen to fifteen were always the years in a boy’s life when he discovers sexuality. When the naïve fantasy of _sex_ had wormed itself into his head.

Kiba had been fifteen when he had found himself staring at Hinata, more than any girl. She was so cute. Hinata had been a friend of his for a while, since they were little. He had never realised how their friendship had begun. Shino had been an interlinking rope between them. Calm and quiet enough to balance Kiba, and patient and calm enough to encourage Hinata. Soon they had been hanging out, going places, sharing homework, (while Kiba complained that the system was designed to discriminate onto those who did not score well, from birth.)

He had never thought too long about it. Come to think of it, he had never thought too long about anything, really. Hinata was Hinata. He had never seen her as overly attractive—as some had—only just cute. Truth be told he had always thought she was a little chubby, and felt odd seeing her walking with slim girls such as Sakura and Ino— though hell would freeze over before he voiced that.

Yet around the age of fifteen, Kiba had come to realise, Hinata was… a **_girl_**.

He had been thinking about Hinata when Suigetsu had approached him. They had just finished track. Kiba had been good at running, or more so competing. That was before he got tired of losing to Lee and quit. The changing rooms had become quieter and quieter as Kiba had had to stay back, arguing with Anko. She had taught track while Gai was away, and had gotten into more than a few arguments with Kiba who always thought he knew more than her.

He had just dried himself after a shower, burying his face into a towel. His body felt like jelly, everything was tired or wobbly. He felt he could walk a thousand miles and not feel a thing. Hinata could give him some medicine, couldn’t she? Or massage him?

Her family came from a long line of physicians and doctors and experts to do something with the body. He quite liked the idea of her massaging him, rubbing him.

“What are you doing?”

Kiba lifted his face, towel still damp, and turned around.

Suigetsu had been small until the age of sixteen, right before his seventeenth birthday. He had always been a head shorter than the other boys, always thinner and always snarkier. He had yet to cross into the area of sex appeal, and now stayed on the fence of cute. An odd mix that made most boys uncomfortable to look… That was not how other boys were supposed to be.

Suigetsu had also been the slowest runner on their team.

“I’m drying, what do you want?” Kiba let out.

“You look dry to me.”

“Cause I was drying.” Despite his shorts and shirt, he felt very exposed.

“How long have you been drying?”

“What’s it to you?!” His voice broke half way through, but if Suigetsu noticed, he did not show it.

“You’ve been in here forever.” Suigetsu said, “The other boys think you’re masturbating.”

Kiba spluttered. “W—Sh—Shut up! What do you want?! You’re done showering!”

Suigetsu shrugged with a smile. “I thought I forgot my stuff.”

“What stuff?” Kiba asked.

“None stuff,” Suigetsu grinned, running a hand through his hair, stretching. “I thought I forgot something, but I didn’t.”

“Yeah, well.” Kiba shoved his towel into the locker, grabbing his bag and closing the door. “You can go now. I’m leaving.”

“Wait—That’s it?”

“What do you mean that’s it?” Kiba swung his bag on his shoulder.

“Don’t you wanna do me?”

Kiba did not reply, frozen, face flushing, staring at Suigetsu with wide eyes while the shorter boy just looked patiently up at him. Kiba had never seen Suigetsu look that patient or well together. “What—

The whole incident seemed almost comical, looking back on it.

He had run the moment in his head a million times. The look on Suigetsu’s face when Kiba had called him a ‘fag’. The way Kiba had said no, _repeatedly_. The snatching. The shove. The ‘fuck you’ and the storming out. He felt sick. He had gone home and masturbated to a picture of a topless girl online, then curled up and wondered why in the fuck Suigetsu had to come and offer himself to _him_? It would take months after that for him to be able to tell it to his friends.

He did not look at Suigetsu, and when he spoke, he spoke more to himself than anyone. “I’d rather be a virgin than fuck you.”

“All boys say that.” Suigetsu’s legs were crossed. He did not face Kiba.

“I mean it.”

“All boys say that too,” Suigetsu continued, patronizingly. “But as soon as you get one alone…”

“I don’t like cock.”

“How do you know?” Suigetsu turned. “Have you ever had a cock up your ass?”

Kiba’s face twisted. “I’m not a fag.”

“Yes, you are.” Suigetsu smiled. “You’re the straightest fag I’ve ever met.”

* * *

  _Sasuke_

Sasuke woke up exactly 46 minutes later after storming into his room, throwing his bag and crawling into his futon. He had not undressed, and the heat had begun to smother him. Wrestling his blanket off, he slowly stood up, ignoring the blur of white and dizziness that followed.

His throat was dry... Water.

Sasuke stretched his body, ignoring the searing pain in his arms, enjoying the crack in his bones and restored blood flow. He was half way across his room when he felt his foot hit something. Everything that had been in his school bag had apparently flown out when he had thrown it. His notebooks were astray, pencil case, water bottle, etc.

He rubbed his hands on his face, and then with a sigh bent down and started collecting everything. Sasuke stacked all the notebooks on his desk lazily. When he reached his glass water bottle he raised it to his lips and swallowed all that was left in it. He then tossed the glass bottle back as softly as he could onto the bag, clumsily lain at the foot of his desk.

He was about to leave when the brutal sound of a clang rang through his room.

Sasuke’s eyes flickered to his bag. The water bottle had not landed gently, and instead presumed to roll off his bag and back towards him. Picking it up, he saw a crack in the glass. What the hell?

The boy pulled his bag towards him, and dug his hand into the opening. He felt pencils, papers and at the bottom of the bag his hand found something hard, circular, and familiar.

When he pulled his hand out, he was holding a jar. The jar was white, the lid dark. It was small, and felt more than half empty. Sasuke stared at it for maybe too long. When he began to open it, he ignored the pain in his arm, and the screaming in his chest.

* * *

 Kiba

The woman had long brown hair, and a wide mouth. In another life she might’ve been considered attractive, but at this point appeared old and withered. She was probably only middle aged, but her expression and aura gave her the atmosphere of ancientness. One hand held onto her jacket, holding it tight around her, as though the heat was not smothering her, as if the sun was not real. The other hand stretched in front of her, clutching onto the handle of a leash.

At the end of this rusted leash was a dog with black fur and patches of brown. The body was rectangular and powerfully built with a strong neck, broad chest and well-muscled hind quarters. The dog would have appeared vicious if not for the joyful look in its eyes, skipping in front of the woman, stretching the leash with excitement.

The dog’s face trailed the ground, following what scent he could, tail wagging. A dog must always follow his nose before his eyes, and it was the smell of human sweat, cologne, and faint cigarette ash that lead him to a bus stop and at two feet.

Kiba let out a laugh hearty enough to make the dogs ears flicker towards him. The mutt raised its head and started at the brunet. Suigetsu, in front of the dog looked down in disgust, lifting his feet from the ground, away from the dog.

“I’m sorry,” the woman tugged at the leash—trying to distance the dog from him—not sounding sorry at all.

Suigetsu grinned weakly. “Don’t worry.”

When the woman managed to force the dog away, Suigetsu did all but kick it in the behind.

“What’s wrong?” Kiba sniggered.

Suigetsu scoffed. “Shut up.”

The sun was coming down at this point. It was that time of the day where the slightest minute can show the largest difference in the weather. It felt like only a minute ago that the sky was pure blue, whereas now it was darkening. The heat had not left though, Kiba hated that: The awkwardness of hot air drowning you in a dark night.

He sighed, feeling his throat tighten. He had never been comfortable in a silence. The words came out of his mouth before his brain processed them. “Why are you so scared of dogs?”

Suigetsu was quiet, almost affected by the Inuzuka’s sudden effort in conversation. He did not look at Kiba when he said “one killed my brother.”

…

“Just kidding!” Suigetsu turned to Kiba with a grin. “He did die, though… But that was a separate incident.”

“That’s not funny.”

“He was attacked by a dog. Does that help? Left him handicapped, which presumably contributed to his death…”

Kiba raised a brow. “How did he die?”

“Fucking your mum.”

Kiba had never agreed or understood Shikamaru’s blank, dead panned expression of exasperation, until now.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” The corner of Suigetsu’s mouth pinched. “Don’t look at me like that. Sasuke always looks at me like that.” The last part was a low mutter.

Kiba rolled his eyes, turning away with a scorn. “You think I care how that asshole looks at you?”

“Be careful how you talk about him,” Suigetsu hummed, quirkiness restored. “That punch Naruto took was aimed at you, you know.”

That’s right, Kiba remembered. He had been the one to call the Uchiha a fag. And somehow, he didn’t believe that Naruto completely forgave him for that punch he took. “I’m not scared of your faggot boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Suigetsu paused then added, “Unfortunately. He’s got a big dick.”

Kiba spluttered. “W—Fu— Wh—Why are you telling _me_ that?! How do you even know?!”

“I’ve seen his bulge.”

The brunet’s face was flushed red. “That’s _disgusting_! Do you spend all day looking at other guy’s _bulges_?!”

Suigetsu shrugged, smiling. “I do more than look at them, usually.”

Kiba rolled his eyes. “I’m so glad I didn’t fuck you.”

Suigetsu laughed. “No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“No, you’re not.” Suigetsu looked at him, eyes crinkling from laughter. “I bet you wish you’d turned me around and fucked me out of anger or something. That’s what most guy’s do… ‘How dare you? I’m not gay you sonofa bitch!’ Then they turn ya around and take you as if they’re proving their point.”

Kiba looked at him, exactly how many had fucked Suigetsu? How many, that he knew?

“How old are you? Seventeen?” Suigetsu sighed. “Never even had your dick sucked before…”

“Pshht…” Kiba looked away. “I bet you’re not even that good at sucking dick.”

“Oh?” Suigetsu grinned, hiding the offence.

“Yeah.”

“Wanna find out?”

A silence passed between them, and Suigetsu watched Kiba eye him, up and down, slowly, unsurely.

When the brunet did not respond, Suigetsu continued. “Or are you still fifteen?”

* * *

  _Itachi_

Itachi clambered into his room. It took him longer than necessary to find the light switch, and when he did, the lights turned on with what felt like the force of a sun.

He took his jacket off, shamelessly throwing it to the floor, and moving towards his dresser drawers. He started searching through folded clothes, until he found a small metal container. He juggled it in his hand for a moment, and then resumed his search in the drawer. His ointment was gone, the jar had been missing for god knows how long and every time he opened the drawer he expected to find it there.

Itachi opened the container with ease, glaring into the remnants. Few pills were left. He dug in his pant pocket, pulling his phone down and scrolling over the contacts until he found the one he was looking for. His thumb hovered over the name for a minute, and then exited. No. Jiraiya was not in Konoha anymore. He had left not that long ago.

Itachi took a pill from the container and swallowed it whole. He did not have the time or patience to go for some water.

Then, laying on his bed, he wondered when Sasuke would be home from school.

* * *

 Kiba

Suigetsu’s mouth was warm and moist and soft and everything Kiba had wanted a girl’s mouth to be. He wanted to fuck Suigetsu till it hurt, till he felt more like a man. The pumping was erratic, uncontrollable and unmerciful. He felt the back of Suigetsu’s throat touching his tip every time he thrust, driving him more and more into madness.

But Suigetsu encouraged it, encouraged the fist Kiba had wrapped in his untied hair, pulling and tugging until his skull could bleed. He encouraged the force and power with each thrust, the inconsideration. Suigetsu was used to selfishness when fucking, he was used to being laid out and fucked dry. He had grown to love it.

The boy bobbed his head to keep up with each pump. Turning his head to make sure every inch of his thick cock had the right amount of saliva on it. It tasted like sweat, salty.

Kiba closed his eyes, biting his lip, trying to pretend it was someone else. Imagine a girl, with saliva running down her mouth, kneeling only a block away from the bus stop in an alley for him. Anyone. Hinata, maybe?

Kiba came violently— and for a moment, when he heard Suigetsu’s violent choking, he didn’t have to imagine someone else.

* * *

 

Kiba had not said a word when they had come back to the bus stop. And for the first time that day Suigetsu let the silence keep. This was his victory, after all. He had tasted Inuzuka Kiba’s cock, finally. He felt content.

They had not had to wait long for the bus, as though the driver had been instinctively waiting to make sure they had fucked. When it did arrive, Suigetsu hopped up, watching the large metal vehicle slow down. Suigetsu imagined an alternate universe where objects were animals, and thought that buses would surely be whales.

He began to step forward, when suddenly there was something violent and hard grabbing him by the arm and pulling him back. Kiba had grabbed the boy by the arm, and gripped so tightly, Suigetsu knew it was either fear or anger.

“If you tell anyone about what happened, I’ll kill you.”

There was a storm of distress in the young boy’s eyes, Suigetsu had seen before. A need for reassurance. A fury rooted from fear. The tight space between them thickened with tension and Suigetsu became aware of what Kiba needed. What he was asking for.

But Suigetsu could not give it to him. Suigetsu could not give him the submission that would reassure the boy. He could not give him the fear—no matter how hard he willed it— that Kiba needed. Fore Suigetsu had felt fear for so long, by so many. He had been fucked, touched and beaten by men past the point defilement. And no matter how much Kiba needed it, no matter how much he begged, Suigetsu could not give him what he did not have. So, he smiled.

“Okay.”

* * *

 


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

 Naruto

“Pull your shirt down.”

Naruto opened his eyes, tilting his head. “What are you doing, perving on me?”

Shikamaru’s mouth twitched— something similar to a smirk. “You wish.”

Naruto watched the brunet lower himself, sitting down on the school roof top. He ran a hand over his own abdomen, enjoying the sun’s rays, legs sticking through the railing of the roof top, swinging.

“Girls don’t like guys that are too tanned.”

“ _You’re_ tanned.”

Shikamaru shrugged, leaning against the railing. “Temari is an outlier.”

Naruto grinned, “Whatever.”

This was the last day of school. And for a month or so they would be free. Summer break was coming. The idea of not having to wake up for school excited Naruto, yet at the same time he knew he would quickly grow bored. There was not much to do these holidays, annoyingly. Last year he had spent the entire holidays with his friends, this year Shikamaru had a girlfriend, Kiba had a job, Chouji also had a job, Sai was focusing on his school work, and there was no room left for him.

“Your boyfriend’s not here today.”

Naruto’s eyes flickered open. “Eh?”

“Uchiha,” Shikamaru smiled. “He’s not here today.”

Naruto spluttered. “W—Th – N—He— _He’s so ugly_ —Wh—No!”

The brunet let out a chuckle, complemented by a grin. “I’m just kidding. You’ve just been hanging out a lot lately.”

They hadn’t, at least not really. It was only considered ‘a lot’ because of whom they were and their history. They had talked once or twice at school, silent jabs, innuendoes, arguments, it was nothing abnormal, Naruto supposed.

“No, we haven’t. He’s an asshole, anyway.” Naruto put his arms back over his eyes, blocking the sun. “I’m glad he’s not here today.”

Shikamaru moved, stretching his back and then leaning over until he lay next to Naruto, staring at the sky. He used to watch clouds a lot, when he was little.

“Are you going to hang out with him during summer holiday?”

“I dunno. Who cares? Maybe, if I’m desperate. Why are you so interested?”

The topic change was abrupt. “We’re going out after school by the way, do you wanna come?”

“Who’s coming?” Naruto asked.

“Me, maybe Kiba, Sai, Ino, Hinata—

“Agh, I’m busy.” He said.

“Well, what about this weekend?” Shikamaru continued. “We’re going to the beach.”

 “Ah,” Naruto hesitated. “Yeah, okay.” The beach sounded good.

* * *

 

When he was younger the last day before holidays would end with excitement. The class work would be at a low, the teacher would lay back, and anything could go. But this was his last year in schooling, and Naruto’s last day was neither exciting nor laid back. He received a disgusting amount of holiday homework in each class, there was barely enough room to converse or laugh with his friends—who in their own rights seemed equally stressed out—and in end, the whole day had been an annoyance.

And to _top it off_ he had had to collect homework for _Sasuke_. He’d been _away_ , on the _last day_ , the day when the _most work_ was given. Sasuke barely missed school. The last time he had been away from school was last year, when his brother _died_.

It had been awkward asking Sakura for the homework, from classes only she was in with Sasuke—the _smart_ classes. It had been even more so, when he had had to ask for the Uchiha’s address.

Naruto pressed the button on the intercom, having to catch his breath before yelling. “HELLO?!”

A meek, female voice. “Hello? Who is this?”

“It’s Naruto!”  He called loudly. “Tell the bastard I’m here!”

“Um—Who—I— I’m sorry…? Who—

“SASUKE! Just tell him I’m **_here_**!”

The Uchiha complex was on top of a hill, in a line of other rich manors. It was exactly like Naruto had envisioned it. The house itself was large, with an old fashioned lay out. A double storied, traditional looking house surrounded by a long gate and maple trees. Sasuke was not that much better off than Naruto—at least he thought—it was just the Uchiha came from a traditional, traditional family.

After what felt like fifteen minutes of waiting Naruto began thumping both fists on the gate in desperation. “SASUKE—?!”

The sun bore into his back. He considered himself at least slightly athletic, but walking to Sasuke’s had murdered him. It was too hot to be trapped outside. He was too young to die, collapsed and sweaty on the steps of the Uchiha Manor. What a way to go.

He heard a buzz on the intercom.

“Naruto?” Sasuke’s familiar, hard—and somewhat perplexed— voice.

“DO YOU KNOW HOW HOT IT IS?! LET ME IN—DID YOU HANG UP ON ME—SASUKE?! – ASSHOLE ?! I GIVE YOU MY BODY AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?!”

He heard metal grating and the gates began to open.

“Are you stupid?”

“Are _you_ stupid?! I could have **_died_**! What took you so lo—Hey! Where are you going?!”

Sasuke’s courtyard was not as long or large as the blond had imagined. In fact it was fairly simple compared to other rich neighbourhoods. There was an everlasting pattern of maple trees. The walls around the compound seemed higher and higher with each step and Naruto began to wish he had grown up in a house like this.

“Why did you miss school?”

“How did you find my house?”

“Sakura gave me the address.” Naruto trailed behind him, repeating. “Why did you miss school?”

Sasuke looked different out of school uniform. Naruto had seen him out of it a few times, but it had been a while since he had been this close.

“How does Sakura have my address?”

“I’ll tell you when you tell me why you missed school.”

“I didn’t want to go.”

The house looked expensive even from the inside. The halls were covered with paintings, traditional stuff like scenery—no photos.

“Why?”

“I answered the question.”

Naruto pursed his lips, a childish rebellion. “I don’t know. I didn’t ask—Is this your room?”

Sasuke had led him upstairs and to the edge of the house, inside a bedroom that was not as clean as he expected from an Uchiha, but nonetheless cleaner than Naruto’s. There was a dark coloured desk with strewn work and a shirt hanging off an edge. Running shoes next to unmade futon. (Naruto forgot and was reminded every time Sasuke stripped just how athletic he was.)

Naruto dropped his backpack on the floor, kneeling down over it. “We got homework, by the way.” Out of the backpack Naruto dragged a stack of homework twice as thick as his own. “You’re welcome, bastard.”

Sasuke had never imagined a scenario where Naruto would be scolding him about education and laziness. “I already emailed my teachers, they sent me the work.”

“Oh.” Naruto looked at the work, then to Sasuke. “Well, _whatever_!”

Almost immediately Sasuke’s arms were filled with papers. His face twisted.

Naruto took of his coat, kicking his shoes off and dragging himself to Sasuke’s futon. “So, what were you doing before I came? Masturbating?”

“School work, moron.”

“It’s the last day.” Naruto said, tangling his legs in the covers. “You’re doing homework?”

He watched Sasuke roll his eyes and walk back to his desk, placing the papers in the corner. “One of us has to.”

Naruto called. “Well, whatever! I’m here now s—

“You’ll have to wait for me to finish.”

“What?!”

“That, or leave.”

All Naruto remembered from the walk to here was sweat, tears, and muscle pain. Fuck. “Fine! But hurry up!”

Sasuke sat down, flipping through his text book until he found the page he lost.

The Uchiha residence was quiet, especially in Sasuke’s room. Naruto was unused to this, living in an apartment in the inner city of Konoha. Not that the Uchiha manor was far, but somehow the large property held a peaceful silence that the Namizake residence did not. There was no background music of cars, traffic, yelling, etc. He supposed that’s what you got for living on a hill.

Naruto rolled around in the bed.

Sasuke’s pillow smelt like his hair, flowery. Naruto had never imagined what the Uchiha would smell like, but in his mind it would’ve been blasé, like so many other boys. Shino, Shikamaru, Sai—those who never took into consideration scent. Or maybe he might’ve smelt like Kiba, an outpouring of cologne, too much and too smothering. Instead, Sasuke smelt as a girl should smell.

He made a mental note to make fun of Sasuke about it later.

After almost an hour of nothing, Naruto said “are you done?”

“No.”

He flipped over, watching the back of Sasuke’s head stare narrowly at the work in front of him. “I’m gonna fart in your bed.”

“Are you stupid?” It lacked emotion. Reflex response.

“Are you going to do homework all weekend?” Naruto whined.

“I have church on Sunday.”

“You go to church on Sundays?” That must be annoying.

“This week.” Sasuke muttered, putting pen to paper.

“Well, whatever! I’m gonna be busy this weekend so don’t try and hit me up for this sweet, _sweet_ ass cause you missed out _today,_ bastard.” He did not reply. Naruto continued. “And don’t try and do Suigetsu or something cause I’m gone!”

“After Kiba?” Sasuke scoffed. If there was ever a chance to that, it was gone now.

“Ye—Wait—What?!”

“They had sex.”

Naruto spluttered, and louder. “Wai— ** _What_**?!”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“Wait—Wait! Wait! What do you mean?” Naruto asked. “What do you mean, by sex?!”

“Suigetsu gave him a blowjob.”

 “Where?! When?!”

“At a bus stop—or so I heard. A few weeks ago.” Sasuke turned back to his work. “Now, leave me alone.”

“Are you just saying this to mess with me?!”

Sasuke ignored him.

It was common or so in Konoha for boys to experiment—or so Naruto had heard. He had heard stories about boys ‘helping’ each other out, during camps and things. But Kiba was more or less a homophobe, and certainly not a homosexual hiding through homophobia. Naruto had seen the way the brunet looked at females, everyone had. Kiba was also not so comfortable in his sexuality so as to experiment. Shikamaru, he could believe—if not for Temari, but Kiba, no. The Inuzuka had man-ego and pride, two things that will stop a male from doing anything they consider anti-masculine or self-depriving. Kiba was insecure, far too insecure to venture for Suigetsu, of all.

“Are you sure Suigetsu didn’t just make it up?” Naruto asked. Suigetsu had always reminded Naruto of a girl. Maybe that was why Kiba had been able to have sex with him—or not, Naruto still didn’t believe it. In truth, it was hard enough for the blond to picture himself having sex with Suigetsu, and he had already had sex—multiple times—with a boy.

“He’s been trying to have sex with Kiba for years.”

There was shocked gurgling and then Naruto’s high pitched voice. “WH—AT?! – Why?!”

“Fuck if I know.”

Naruto paused. “But—Kiba’s a virgin!”

“ _Was_ , a virgin.”

 “Have you ever had sex with Suigetsu?”

Pause. Rustling of sheets. Sasuke’s stoic voice. “No.”

There was a part of Naruto that wanted to nag, to question the hesitation in his answer. This part bubbled up in Naruto like a badly poured drink. But it was all too quickly shut down by Naruto’s other part— the part that did not care.

* * *

 

Sasuke felt a heaviness press onto his shoulder—Naruto’s familiar arms leant on him, forehead against the back of his head. Naruto’s take on personal boundaries had always been looser than others. He had known this for a long time, and become used to it.

With a loud voice, Naruto said. “What are you studying?”

“Maths.”

Sasuke did not dislike maths, but it was far from his favourite subject. He intended to finish as much mathematics as he could at the beginning of this summer, to save him the trouble.

“I’m bored.” Naruto rubbed his head from side to side on the back of Sasuke’s, like a dog.

“You chose to come here.”

“I didn’t think you’d be busy!” Naruto whined. “You have no friends…”

“Id—

“When will you be done?”

“I don’t know.”

Naruto groaned. “I’ve been waiting for like two hours.”

Sasuke felt himself moving, weight being carried by Naruto as he swayed. “Get off me.” Sasuke tried to swat him, but he could not reach over and keep balance at the same time.

“You’re so selfish.”

“Na—

“I hate you.” The movements elongated.

Sasuke was now being pulled like a rope from side to side. He lifted his arms so as not to mess his work.“Let me finish my work—Naruto.”

“Shikamaru barely studies.”

“And he barely passes.” The swaying motions were extending, each move longer than the prior. Sasuke felt the chairs wheels slowly scrape across the carpet floors of his room. “ _Naruto_. Stop moving the chair.”

He moved his arm back in a violent shove. It was a petty attempt to discard Naruto, and in turn threw them both off balance. Naruto’s grip tightened in panic. His pant leg had become twisted in the wheels of chair. The ground came fast and the Uchiha felt every part of his body take collision.

They met the floor with a loud, hard thud.

He could still feel Naruto’s arms under him, digging into him. The chair had slid between them and lay strew at their feet. Naruto and he were both tangled in one another, with the blond’s leg around his waist and Sasuke’s face in his chest.

There was metal digging into his leg that he knew would bruise. Sasuke struggled to kick the chair off of them while ignoring the searing pain in his shoulder. Despite Sasuke’s carpeting, the ground felt concrete under him.

 “Naruto?” Sasuke grunted out.

Slowly, Sasuke raised himself, turning and struggling to face the other. He repeated, angrily. “Naruto?”

The Uzumaki did not reply.

* * *

  _Itachi_

Itachi was ten or so when Sasuke turned five. That was the age of pre-puberty, when Itachi was aware of the troubles in his life, but not quite aware enough.

The party had been in summer. It had been a small party. Sasuke was shy and soft at that age. (He had only recently given up bedwetting.) Itachi had held Sasuke’s quiet hand for most of the start of the party, leading him around to eat some food, while the parents would stop and talk more so to Itachi than Sasuke—apart from a last ‘and happy birthday to you!’ in which Sasuke would stare and hide behind Itachi.

The older brother remembered being concerned that Sasuke may never grow out of his shyness. Itachi had left Sasuke to socialise with the other young, Uchiha children.

“Itachi, right?”

He had been in the kitchen, looking for his mother. Their house had been different, smaller and cosier before they moved to the Uchiha complex. His mother had preferred closeness, back then.

“Yeah.”

He looked up at the woman, she looked nice enough. He didn’t know her. She had found him wondering around the halls, as if he had not known where he was going. As if this house was not his. There was something on Itachi’s face that felt far too inviting to conversation. He hated that.

“You must be Sasuke’s brother,” She leant down. “How are you liking the party?”

A dislike bubbled up in Itachi. He stretched his face into a smile. “It’s fun.”

“What did you get your brother?”

“Itachi!” His mother’s voice called. “Come, it’s time for the piñata!” Her face peered through the doorway. “Are you coming?”

“Yes!”

Their backyard felt bigger than their house. Itachi skid across the green grass to the gathering circle of happy families and friends, between the maple trees and past the flower bushes.

He found Sasuke, small and befuddled.

“Hello.” Itachi smiled.

Sasuke stared up at him, grabbing hold of the corner of Itachi’s jacket. “Hi.”

The piñata was of a monkey, Itachi didn’t understand why, but apparently it was the most popular selling one in the store. So Fugaku had chosen it. He looked across the circle to find his father with vacant expression, waiting.

“Alright.” Mikoto made her way towards Sasuke with a stick. She knelt down next to him, putting it into his hands and motioned towards the piñata.

His mum stepped back, the crowd settled and Itachi watched his little brother stand still.

The silence ran through the people for what felt like ten seconds.

Mikoto stepped forward, ever encouraging, motioned to the piñata again, twice. He wrapped his fingers around the stick, and when their mother stepped back, his eyes looked up to Itachi.

Itachi nudged his shoulder. That way.

Sasuke stared at him, and then the monkey.

This time Mikoto stepped forward, taking the stick, walking up to the monkey and gently motioning a hit.

When she came back and gave the stick to Sasuke, the little boy took his first steps to the monkey. It was a slow waddle. He reached the piñata, distance just enough so that the stick could reach, and copied his mother’s gentle motions.

Itachi was about to go forward himself, when he saw Sasuke drop the stick.

The little Uchiha boy waddled over to the piñata, and wrapped his arms around the monkey in a hug.

Itachi remembered laughing, a loud, happy chortle. He remembered smiling and looking to his father, who remained nonchalant. Always.

In his last moments, when Itachi would pull his willpower to remember what he could, he would think of his brother, and he would think of that.

* * *

 Naruto

There were hands clawing at his arms, trying to uncover his face and Sasuke’s harsh and annoyed voice, repeating “let me see” and “you’re so stupid.”

Naruto did not want Sasuke to see— there was a throbbing on the side of his face.

His arms were tugged and pulled at until he could no longer protest. Sasuke’s hands dragged them away and Naruto was met with the Uchiha’s peering expression: Analytical and unhappy. Sasuke in a nutshell.

He sighed. “Wait here.”

Through the fall Naruto had felt a sharp collision with the right side of his head and he had realised that he’d hit the edge of Sasuke’s sharp desk. Naruto was very used to bruises and hits, but open wounds had always unsettled him.

The wound itself wasn’t too bad: Bad enough to require a visit to the doctor, but not bad enough to require urgent attention from said doctor.

That was how Naruto ended up sitting on Sasuke’s futon, while his wound was being dabbed at with alcohol mercilessly. Sasuke was never gentle. Barely caring in his touch, or much else. He was to the point and merciless, like everything else

“Can’t you be more gentle?”

“Can’t you be less stupid?”

Naruto pouted. “I’m _hurt_. You should be nice, for _once_ … I could die.”

Sasuke wiped the blood from Naruto’s eyebrow, ignoring the cringe he received when he dabbed a little too hard. “You’re not a child.”

“You’re not my mother.”

“I wouldn’t want to be your mother.” He regretted the words as soon as he said them. He paused for only a millisecond, checking. It was probably the closest thing to tenderness Naruto would receive from him in a long time.

The Uchiha put down the material, and picked up the collagen bandage.

“How bad is it?”

“It’ll scar— _stop frowning_.” Sasuke pressed the bandage on the corner of Naruto’s right eyebrow, on top of the throbbing wound, ignoring whines of protest.

Naruto raised a hand to his forehead, running a finger over the bandage.

Sasuke packed the leftovers of the bandage and materials away. When he returned, Naruto lay on his futon.

“Move over.” Sasuke started shoving him.

“I’m injured!” Naruto shoved back.

“This is my bed.” The Uchiha disregarded him.

“I’m a guest!”

“In my house.”

“You have more space anyway!”

“Shut up.”

“What if I get even more injured?!”

“Like I care.”

Their half assed struggle on body parts ended with Sasuke inhabiting at least a third of the futon while Naruto in turn rested his arm over the Uchiha’s face and leg on his waist, which the Uchiha was too drained to fight off.

“This wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t an asshole for once.” It missed the bark that Naruto’s words usually had.

“I was studying.”

“You’re always studying.”

“You’re never studying.” Sasuke spat back. He lay his arm above his head, under Naruto’s. “Maybe if you were your grades wouldn’t be so petty.”

“Shut up!” Naruto whined. “You were supposed to tutor me! Remember?!”

“And, _you_ were supposed to cooperate.”

Naruto had an authority problem. Sasuke had tried, but they had ended up arguing or fucking—or both. The first time, Naruto had let Sasuke come over and for half an hour things had been looking up, but as always, the pair had clashed. The essence of Naruto had been conditioned to question Sasuke, and though he tried to change, he could not contain himself. Sasuke’s subconscious arrogance had triggered Naruto into a battle of wits. Eventually, tutoring was far gone.

“Besides,” Sasuke continued. “Do you expect me to take care of you forever?”

“You’re not taking care of me!”

“What is this, the second you’ve inconvenienced me?”

Naruto’s face blushed. “Why do you have to bring that up?” He muttered.

Minato had been less than happy to come home to Naruto in that drunkard state. There was not much the blond could remember from that night, but from what he could, he was not proud. It had been the first time Minato had seen his son drunk.

And since then, Sasuke had gone from barely visiting the Namizake residence to completely abandoning it.

It was not as though Naruto made these mistakes on purpose, he was just accident prone. Since he was young the boy had caused himself more accidents than a blind man. Minato had found his son coming home every day with scrapes, cuts and bruises. It was pleasant for neither.

Naruto felt his arm pushed off. He watched Sasuke raise himself.

“Alright, pay me back. Next week, come to my house and study properly.”

“Pay you back?!”

“You interrupted my studying, inconvenienced me, made me take care of you— and damaged my desk.”

Naruto groaned, and then in a low whiny voice said “can’t I just give you a blowjob?!” He said it half heartily. All they’d been doing was Naruto topping, complemented by a few rough hand jobs and/or grinding.

He sort of regretted it as soon as he peeked at the Uchiha, staring down at him with wondering eyes, all over his lips, throat and back up to his face.

Their eyes met. Sasuke turned away. “You can leave now—or stay. I don’t care. Just don’t make any noise. And don’t be late next week, you can’t get out of it—I’ll kill you.”

* * *

 

It was dark when Naruto arrived home. He’d fallen asleep and the bastard hadn’t even bothered to wake him when it got dark. He’d been tempted to spend the night at Sasuke’s, but there was only one futon and he knew Sasuke would make him sleep on the floor.

When he unlocked the apartment door, he felt the cool breeze of the air conditioner hit his face. It was hot outside. The night was dark, but the heat still stuck in the air like a bad smell.

The lights were off but for the TV in the lounge room, shining white light into otherwise darkness.

“Hello?” He turned on the lights. “I’m home” he called.

He closed the door, hearing and ignoring the sound of Jiraiya’s groans.

“Why did you turn the lights on?” Jiraiya lay on the couch, covered in a blanket. He struggled to raise himself into a sitting position. “Where were you?”

“At Sasuke’s. Where you waiting for me?”

Jiraiya watched Naruto put his bag down and enter the kitchen. “No. I was watching T.V. The Uchiha boy?”

“Yeah.”

“What were you doing there?” Jiraiya asked.

“I fell asleep” was all Naruto said.

The fridge was all but empty. His kitchen was always running out and never quite full. Naruto opened the freezer and took a double joint icy-pole. “Do you wanna split?” He called.

“Nah.”

Naruto crawled under the couch, feeling the warmth of the couch in the heavily air conditioned room. “What were you watching?”

“Nothing. Commercials. What happened to your face?”

Naruto’s hand flickered to his face, running his fingers over the bandage. “Oh. Nothing.”

“Fight?”

“No. Accident.” He said before stuffing the icy-pole in his mouth.

“You’re very prone to accidents.”

Naruto grinned his everlasting grin. That of a fox. “I know.”

The old man smiled. “You need to be careful. Do me a favour and find someone good to take care of you. Okay?”

“I don’t need someone to.” Naruto said, mouth full.

Jiraiya rolled his eyes. “I’m tired.”

Naruto watched Jiraiya uncover himself and struggle to stand up. “Good night.” He walked down the hall, pausing, then calling back “Naruto?”

“What?”

“Good night.”

* * *

 

It was warm when Naruto woke. He’d turned his phone to silent, ignoring all of Shikamaru and Sai’s texts about where to meet up for the beach trip. It had been a while before Naruto had woken this early, in this weather, not for school. The sun was out, and the morning sun was not yet as writhing as it would be soon.

It had also been a while since Naruto had made himself coffee. He had not been able to get a lot of sleep last night.

He put two spoons of sugar into the cup while the water heated. He liked sweetness. He opened the fridge door for milk finding only an empty carton. What the hell? There had been milk in that carton last night. He pulled the carton out with furrowed eyebrows.

He held the carton in his hand, walking down the hall—more like storming. When he reached the guest room he all but flung the door open, accusingly, ready to throw said carton at the bed and the old man who lay in it.

Only there was no old man in the bed. The room was organised and unsoiled, bed made and floor tidy. It was clean, empty.

                                                                                       

* * *

 Tsunade

She had to stare at him before letting him in. She had to soak his image into her mind: The unruly old man, her age, tired eyes and unresting smile.

“Are you letting me in?”

Tsunade did not reply. She stood aside and watched him enter. When the door closed she said “It’s early.”

It was 6am. “I know.” He replied.

“You want breakfast?”

“No, thank you.”

“I’ll make some tea.” She would have to leave for work soon. Nonetheless she took her time heating the water and watching the bubbles rise. “How long before you leave?”

“Ten minutes.”

She kept her eyes on the water. “This is the first time you’ve said a proper goodbye... That is what you’re doing, right?”

Jiraiya was quiet, and then. “Well, I didn’t come here for tea.”

Her mouth thinned. “Then?”

“Why didn’t you ever love me?”

Any man that doesn’t learn to laugh at rejection is worthless as a man. Jiraiya had lived by that, though she had rejected him every time. He had never not loved her. Time had passed, she had had a lover, and then her lover died and she still could not love Jiraiya.

Tsunade did not answer his question, instead. “Why did you leave?”

“Would you have loved me if I stayed?”

“…No.” It was hard, and honest, and merciless, like everything with Tsunade was. “Why? Why couldn’t you stay?” 

He could've left. If he had, his answer wouldn't have cut her so deep. But instead he smiled, and said after a while, very slowly. “The kite kept flying.”

She wanted to scream at him.  

“Was there every a chance you could have loved me?” 

“Would you have stayed if I’d had?” She said.

He grinned and she watched his face wrinkle. “No, I suppose not. Not really.”

Then she watched him leave, pausing at the door. “Tsunade?”

“What?”

“I’m sorry.”

After he left, she turned the water off. She would shower again that morning, dress and leave for work. She would get in her car, turn the engine on, and pretend she didn’t know he wasn’t coming back.

* * *

 


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

  _Tsunade_

Your brother died when he was twelve, and you screamed.

He was hit by a truck. They called you and told you that, and you argued. That could not be your brother. That could not be Nawaki. Nawaki was young, and smart, and full of so much youth. He had a future and a dream. If he were to die he would die an old, old man, long after you, long after living his life. But when they dragged you to his broken, scattered body, you could argue no more.

Jiraiya tried to comfort you. He tried to put his arms around you, and you pushed away.

You were eighteen.

* * *

 

It was university, and it was during winter. It was so cold, so, so cold. The clouds were crawling over the sky and the little light you received was pitiful. Everyone was sticking to themselves on the streets, rushing home. But you unfortunately were young and naïve and had chosen to study at the library. There was an exam coming up, and you were determined to pass.

It was darkening by the minute. Your car would not start. You opened the door, after trying to turn the engine on five times. You hit the hood in frustration, and walked two blocks to a payphone.

You dialled Jiraiya’s number, feeling the cold, hard surface of the glass burn your skin when you pressed your forehead against it. You dialled four times, and he did not answer. Jiraiya was gone. Back then, you had assumed, like everyone else had, it was a gap year. That the confines and authority had become too much for him, and he would come home a better man.

You were twenty.

When you arrived back, a boy stood beside your car, kneeling and staring at the machine like a puzzle.

“Hello?”

He turned to you, embarrassed— even more so when he saw you. “Oh. Hi.”

“Hi.”

He had long, pale-blue hair that reached his back and dark green eyes. He was good looking. Mature looking. Like a boy that had figured out how to be a man at a young age. You hadn’t been around one of those boys yet.

“Is this your car?” He pointed to it with a polite smile.

“…Yes.”

“I was just about to catch the bus home when I saw your car. It’s not working?”

“… No.” You admit. It was the only car left in the parking lot. It was getting dark.

“Look…” He hesitated. “I can have a look at it, if you want?”

Your hands are firmly dug in your pockets, stomach fluttering in a way you were not familiar with. “Okay.”

“How old are you?” He had firm, strong hands.

He lifted the hood of the car, peering into the engine.

“Twenty.” You lean on the car, watching him. “And you?”

“Twenty-one.”

“Oh,” Your voice sounds chipper than usual, like when you were twelve. “What do you study?”

“Law.” He said, putting his hand into the engine, turning and peering more. “And you?”

“pre-med.”

“Oh,” He smiled. “You must be smart.”

You don’t remember the last time you blushed. “Oh—yeah – thanks.”

He was taller than most boys, taller than Jiraiya— but not fitter.

Jiraiya had loved sports since high school. You remembered it as being the only thing he _could_ do. In the past you advised him to peruse this as an option as a future, but he had not. In the end you had known he could only do what he wanted. If there had been a schedule and payment required with this sport, he would have let it go instantly.

He fought too. Jiraiya had a snark and grin and when offended would laugh back. Laughter was the greatest insult, as it turned out.

This boy on the other hand did not fight, he argued. He had an everlasting smile on his face— the type to make a girl blush and stutter. He talked in the same tone too, never raising his voice.

After ten minutes, Tsunade watched him sigh, hesitate, then bring himself up and lean on the risen hood. “I’m so sorry.”

You glance at him, then the car, then him. “Huh?”

“I actually don’t know a lot about cars.” He admitted, face heating up. “—I just wanted a chance to talk to you. I’m sorry. This is embarrassing.”

In truth, looking back, you had expected yourself to roll your eyes and sigh, because really this was not the first time a boy had wasted your time like this. But before you knew it, there was heat rising to your face and you were stuttering. “W—Wait—…What…?”

“Sorry.” His smile widened upon seeing your face, bashfully he repeated. “I’m really sorry.” And he sounded it.

You raised a hand to your forehead, “ah, wow. It’s okay—I just… This is embarrassing.”

He thought you’d be angry, and seemed surprised at your bashfulness. You felt a pang of regret at the headstrong and aggressive reputation you made for yourself.

“I don’t have a car.” He admitted. “I can walk you home, as an apology?”

The heat was rising to your face again. Fuck. “How do you usually get home?”

“I walk,” He replied. “My home isn’t far from here. It’s getting dark, maybe, if you want you can—” He started to fluster, face reddening. “No—Never mind, that’s probably— Ah, haha.” He laughed. “I’m sorry. I can walk you home.”

 Your lips are pressed together, only to hide your growing smile. “I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“No, please.” He scratched the back of his head. “I’ll feel so much better if I do.”

His name was Dan. He had a niece here: She was young but wanted to be a nurse. Both of them had grown up in Konoha, and the more you listened to him the more you realised how much he cared for this place. When he spoke about Konoha, it made you realise things you never knew. The grass was greener here than in any other city, the heat was more bearable, the air was thicker but in a welcoming way and not a smothering way.

He was liberal and slow to take a joke, but laughed nonetheless.

He had opinions too, thought out and hard toned opinions. The opposite of Jiraiya. His opinions were wishy washy. He was never this or that. Jiraiya considered every view and in the end never cared enough to make a statement. He was accepting of the way the world was and the laws people made to a point that frustrated you. When faced with outrage and insult he would rather accept this and find a way to live with it rather than stand up and say no. You used to think him a coward for this, but many, many years later when he is long, long gone, you will come to realise he was just smart in his own way.

“You don’t think assisted suicide should be an option?”

The streets were covered in snow. The cold air groped you with each passing, and you tried hard not to look bothered. “I don’t think any life should be given up on.”

“Even if the person is the one who wishes that?”

You paused. There was a well detailed argument in your head for this, with evidence and correct wording and quotes from all kinds of doctors. But in the moment all that came out of your mouth was a blabbering “yes.”

“Why?”

“Because –” Your brain was failing you. “Why—What if someone abuses this? What if a person purposely puts themselves in a position to receive assisted suicide?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know.” You said.

“You don’t know.” He repeats, looking back to the street. Smug.

Your mouth hardens. “What about mentally disabled people? Autism? Cerebral Palsy? You think the decision to end their lives should be put in their hands? You think they’re capable of that?”

“Because someone is mentally disabled doesn’t make them an animal incapable of processing a complex situation.” He said. “To keep someone alive against their wishes is the ultimate indignity.”

You both had to pause for a second as a particularly strong gust of wind blew through you. The roads were icy, slowing down all if any cars that took to them. The cold put everything into slow motion.

He was a very complex person, you discovered that day. He was fun to talk to, but held a superior tone in most arguments you could not stands. Most males no matter how smug attempted to coddle your argument or appeal to you in any way. You hated that, almost as much as you hated this condescending air, but it was just one of the many unique things about Dan that you would come to love in the future—so long as it was not directed at you.

“You can stay at my apartment if you want.”

He looks at you for a second, surprised.

“I mean—… The weather!” You explain. “If the snow doesn’t calm down and… You know.”

He smiled. “You don’t like the snow?”

Snow is lovely when it’s fallen and still, when the sun is out to give light and mounds of snow are light and fluffy. Not in this cold, cold night of harsh winds and hailing, frozen water.

“I hate winter.”

“I love winter.” He said.

Every step is a struggle, the snow sucked in your feet like a vacuum. He walks like this home every day, you wonder.

“Is that your apartment building?” He asked.

You look over the large, stone, cheap looking building. It was the only one you could afford close to your university. “Yes.”

“It looks nice.”

“Don’t make fun of me!” Your voice sounds teasing and pretentious, like the voice of those girls in high school you used to make fun of.

He laughed. “I’m not. Sorry. Do you want me to walk you inside?”

He smiled when you said “yes.”

* * *

 

You were in med-school. Twenty-four years old. Your hair was shorter than it’s ever been, up to your shoulders. Dan had encouraged the change, but you’d been hesitant. In the end you’d complied just out of curiosity. That was the last time you cut your hair that short.

“Lunch break is nearly over.”

“I know.” You ate your sandwich slowly. Everything in your life seemed slow at that time.

The girl across from you had long brown hair. She had a sarcastic tone in all her words, and it took you weeks to realise that was just her way of speech. “Did you see the new doctor?”

“No. Why?”

“I hear he’s really handsome.” She said. “That’s what the nurses said.”

You rolled your eyes. “All nurses do is gossip.”

“My mum is a nurse.”

“Does she gossip?”

“Yes.”

“There you have it.” You scoff, enjoying the moment of humour as you both giggle.

She stuck out her tongue, then continued. “It’s going to be busy here next week. Will you be working?”

“Of course.” You said. “You won’t?”

“No,” She said. “My boyfriend wants me to meet his family for Christmas. Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” You say. “I don’t celebrate Christmas, neither does my boyfriend.”

“Why?”

“I’m not Christian. Why would I?” Christmas was more of an act of aesthetic than belief to you anyway.

* * *

 

For the rest of the night you were sent to deliver messages and files between doctors and patients. You found yourself drinking more and more coffee lately, people started annoying you more too. Your patience had been worn thin to the point where Dan himself could not soothe you. Even after you two had moved in together, and you had been together for two years, your relationship still felt so old and sturdy, as though you had been together for ten years. You were still deciding whether this was good or not.

“Are you checking out?”

“Yeah.” You replied. Your shift was over.

“Oh, okay. Did you see the guy in room 320 by the way?” She was nurse, nineteen years old and still inexperienced to the brim.

“No.”

She leant over the counter. “He’s really cute. I was going to ask if you know what happened to him, why he’s here?”

“How can you know what he looks like but not what happened?”

“I just walked past his room!” She explained. “He seems really nice, and young… I don’t know… I just broke up with my boyfriend so…”

“Really?” You want to roll your eyes. “What does he look like?”

“Brown eyes, white hair…”

“White hair? I thought you said he was young.”

“He is.” She continued. “I don’t know. His hair is just white.”

“Is it long?”

“Yeah. Why? You’ve seen him?”

* * *

 

The room was darkened, but he was not sleeping. He had a good room, or at least a good view. Konoha city was perfectly pictured in a window frame for him— the city he liked to run so much from.

He had overdosed, apparently. You did not ask what drugs, but the nurse who attended him told you it had been pretty severe. There was an IV plugged into his arm, and he looked tired, too tired for a twenty-four year old.

“You cut your hair” was the first thing he said.

“You didn’t.”

His hair was long as it had ever been. His eyes were swollen and there laid dark circles beneath them. He shifted in his bed, to face her. “Shouldn’t you be on duty, Ms. Doctor?”

You smiled. You shouldn’t have, but you did. “My shift is finished.”

“Don’t tell me this is a naughty visit…”

“I have a boyfriend, idiot.” You moved from the doorway and into the room.

“Ouch.”

 You sat in the visitors’ chair. “Are you going to tell me how this happened?”

“I think you know.” His voice was hoarse. There was water on the bedside table but you were sure he hadn’t drank it.

“You do drugs now?”

“I always did drugs.” Jiraiya stretched slowly, and then collapsed. “Don’t act surprised.”

“To this extent?”

“Why are you scolding me?” He asked. “You’re not my mother.”

“Has Hiruzen visited you?”

“No.” He answered. “He doesn’t know I’m here.”

Jiraiya had grown more and more immune to your disapproval. You crossed your legs. “Are you staying?”

“Maybe,” his voice was quieter now, more honest. “I don’t know.”

“You’ve been gone for three years.” In the future you will consider this a short time.

“That long?”

“What are you even looking for out there?” You asked, annoyed. Death was on the brim for this boy. “It’s the same everywhere. The faces and names are different but no matter what it’s the same.”

“What’s he like?” His calm voice was juxtaposition to your anger.

“What?”

“Your boyfriend, what’s he like?”

This was the first time Jiraiya knew about one of your boyfriends. “I don’t know… He’s nice.”

“What’s his name?”

“Dan.” It felt nice on your tongue.

“Dan? Where is he from?”

“He’s from here.”

“I’ve never heard of him.” Jiraiya said. He ran a hand through his hair and you ignored the IV injected into it. “What does he do?”

“He’s a lawyer.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “I thought you said he’s nice.”

“He is.”

“He’s a lawyer.” Jiraiya argued.

“Lawyers can be nice.” You reply childishly.

Jiraiya barked out a laugh. “Since when?! How rich is this fella, huh?”

“He comes from a good family, I wouldn’t say he’s rich.” This time you’re smiling.

“Phwah… He must really be rich.”

Dan came from a good, humble family. It was not he was rich so much as they had come from poor households, which in turn made someone like Dan feel godlike.

“How long have you two been together?” Jiraiya continued.

“Two years.”

His eyebrows furrowed, and like a child tasting bad food said “too long. Where did you meet?”

“University.”

“Of course.” He sighed. There was a long pause, then “I think I _am_ going to be leaving soon.”

You stared at him. “Why did you come back?”

“I don’t know.” He said, very quietly.

“Are you going to keep doing drugs?”

The quiet stretched on too long. “I don’t know.”

It was the drugs, you thought. If anything were to kill him, it would be the drugs.  “When will they release you?”

“You tell me.”

“I don’t know.” You answer. “Tomorrow, maybe.”

“Hopefully before Christmas.” He said.

Jiraiya liked Christmas. You knew this because when you were in high school he had always organised Christmas parties, and by organise, you mean he had convinced other people to organise the party while he smuggled alcohol into the seemingly innocent drinks. He had always encouraged anything that could cause a laugh and closeness of any sort. You wanted to ask him that, about how he spent Christmas these past years. But in the end you could not make the words out of your mouth.

 “Hey, I have a riddle for you.”

Your legs were starting to feel numb. You switched. “A riddle?”

“Well, not really. Hear me out, though.”

You waited, and he continued.

“It’s an old story— apparently, about a man that wakes up one morning and sees a black kite on the wind. He walks outside, and is never seen again. When he dies, he meets his wife in the spirit world. She asks him why he never came home.”

The story seemed familiar, but you could not piece it together in your mind. He watched you patiently, and intensely. More intensely than any other time. Somehow, you knew your reply mattered. But you did not know what to say. “I don’t understand.”

“What do you mean?”

“What am I supposed to say to that?”

He furrowed his eyebrows, and for the first time in a long time he looks genuinely angry at you. He turned away. “I thought you were supposed to be smart.” His voice was bitter and unexpected.

“Who told you that story?” You asked.

“Hiruzen.”

“When?”

“A long, long time ago.” Jiraiya answered, bored. “I was fourteen.”

 “Why are you thinking of it now?” You ask.

“Forget it.”

“Is there an answer?” 

“Yeah,” He said, putting an arm over his face.

“What is it?”

“I forgot.”

In the future you would ask Hiruzen multiple times about that story throughout your life, always asking for the answer to what Jiraiya said. Searching for the missing link that had made the boy in the hospital bed so disappointed in you. If he had not died, Hiruzen might have told you, and when he did die, you were convinced you would never hear it.

“I’m tired.” His voice broke your train of thought. “How long are you staying?”

You paused. “I don’t know… I’ll leave in a while.”

Jiraiya did not reply. He kept his arm over his face, turning and going to sleep.

That was the first and last time you’d seen Jiraiya in that state. You did not know it back then, you did not know how broken and distraught he was, nor of his attempted suicide. You had been young and unused to the faces of a lost man, so you could not recognise one—especially in a boy.

In the end, you fell asleep in the hospital room, until a nurse woke you up and asked if you were family.

* * *

 

It was raining; you were twenty-five years old and on your period. Dan had taken you out, and you had appreciated it. The day had not been so bad, shopping and lunch and what not. By the end you’d settled for a movie. Sitting in comfort with his hand in yours had been more than enough for the day. But the day had come to an end. The skies started to loose light and all you wanted was to go home.

“I’m hungry.” He said, holding your hand as you walked. “I think there’s a rest—

“There’s food at home. I’ll make you something.”

“Tsun—

“It’s dark, and it will rain soon.” You weren’t usually this pushy. In fact, most if not all days it was he who wore the pants. But there was blood pouring out of you and along with it came insecurity and unbalance.

“Can we please go to the restaurant?” He asked.

“Why do you want to go so badly?” You whined. Even hearing yourself you wanted to slap yourself.

“You can sit down, have some rest.”

“I just want to go home.”

He was a bit flustered and unsure how to act. In your head you’d already thought out an apology for your unruliness, but that would come tomorrow when you are happy and wrapped next to him in bed.

There was a clash of thunder overhead. The gathering clouds would start spitting rain soon.

“I’m just hungry.” He tried again, more forcefully.

“We already had lunch.”

“And now it’s dinner.” He argued.

“Why can’t you just wait until we get home?—Look!” A ramen stand perched on the corner of the street they were on. It would be closing up soon. “Perfect!”

“Tsunade—

But you were already leading him, and he was following like an annoyed five year old being led home.

“What do you want? Miso?”

“I—

“We’ll have one Miso Ramen, please.”

The man at the stand looked between you for a moment and you felt his judgment.

“Tsunade, it’s raining.” Dan said.

You hadn’t noticed the drops hitting slowly hitting you until then. “It’s almost finished.”

“Tsunade—

the rain started hitting you hard and you felt his arm trying to tug you along. The roof of the ramen stand was not holding, and when the man finally handed you the ramen you let Dan drag you away. He gripped hard onto your arm, and you were unsure whether he was trying to hold onto you or angry.

There was a long gust of air dragging you two into the street, because of course with rain, came wind.

When you came to the alley, there were ramen remnants staining your wrists and sleeve. Still enough to eat, you thought. The alley was cramped, small and dirty, but a good—and only— force of protection against the wind.

Dan sighed next to you. “This was not what I was planning.”

The brick wall felt hard against your back, it was the only way you could have enough coverage against the rain. “We can still make it home. There’s enough ramen for you to eat.”

He wasn’t listening to you anymore, he was suddenly in front of you and on his knee.

“Dan, what are you—

“I had a whole speech prepared you know, even reservations. This was meant to be a surprise, but I suppose it’s impossible to surprise you.” He was on his knee, pulling something out of his jacket.

“Wait—what?”

“Will you marry me?”

* * *

 

The doorbell would not stop ringing. You peeked from under your blanket, checking the time. It was Sunday, 6.39pm, and you were twenty-seven.  

When the door opened to reveal Jiraiya, you didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“I brought go and beer.” He said. “I know how much you love alcohol.”

The apartment was a mess, there were items in boxes and garbage that had been there for god knows how long spread out shamelessly everywhere. You had been living of fast food for a while. You hadn’t planned on that, now there were wrappers and containers all over your apartment. You had planned to throw yourself into your work, to numb your mind with your job. But your people had told you to take a break, and hadn’t taken no for an answer. You had gone home, gone to bed, and never quite gotten out.

The T.V in your lounge room hadn’t been turned off in over a week. To compliment the other garbage, were empty bottles of liquor and beer everywhere. Once again you had fallen into your drinking habit. Now weeks later your apartment smelt cheap, you had not showered in at least three days and all those who had tried to contact you had failed.   

Jiraiya followed you through your mess of an apartment. You thought he would comment, but he didn’t.

“How long have you been back?”

“Not long.” He said. “I arrived a few hours ago.”

“Really?” You pulled the beer opener from the kitchen. It had been a long time before a man had been here and you considered putting on a bra, but your large sweater, t-shirt and dirty pyjama pants not only covered your womanhood but destroyed any sexuality that came with it.

“Yeah.” He watched you sit across from him.

“When was the last time you played go?” Your voice sounded tired, even to yourself.

He smiled. “A few days ago. I lost, though.”

He had been to Suna, the city of the sun. His skin had darkened and the wrinkles around his eyes were more prominent. You told him to moisturize. He told you to wash your face. For the first time in a long time, you laughed. Your hair was oily, tied back in a loose bun. There were dark circles underneath your eyes and you hadn’t plucked your eyebrows in over a week. You didn’t want to imagine what you looked like when you laughed, but when you did, Jiraiya looked happy.

He had been around the whole country, apparently. You didn’t understand how he had money to live until he told you he had been writing. He didn’t tell you what though, he refused. In later years when you see one of his books on a shelf of a library, you will flick through it and come to realise exactly what he had been doing all those years from Konoha.

He opened his beer with a smile and you wanted to ask if he had a girlfriend, but the words never came out. They would not sound right if they did. He also smoked in your apartment, something he did not do often. The window was not open, but you did not get up to open it. You hadn’t smelt smoke in years, and for some reason missed it.

“How long have you been like this?” He asked.

Your fingers brushed the surface of the go stones, eyeing the board. “I don’t know. Why?”

“Your apartment looks like my university dorm.”

“You dropped out of university.”

“They kicked me out of the dorm to begin with, because it looked like this.” He eyed the settled dust on the hardwood floor. “Hiruzen said you haven’t spoken to him in a month.”

“You talked to him?”

“Briefly.”

“Did he ask you to come here?”

“No.”

Hiruzen had tried to call you the most. He had always been an old, stubborn man and somehow felt obligated to you since he had been so close to your grandfather. Your grandfather had been a great, great man. But he had been an alcoholic and loved to gamble more than he loved to live. In the end even the great fall.

You moved your stone to a corner area on the board, near your others, then take a long drink from your beer bottle. “Where do you plan to go to next? After Konoha?”

He was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know…” Then, “how does work feel about you being away for so long?”

“They’re understanding.”

“How does it feel to be a doctor?”

“I don’t know.” You replied. “I thought I’d be helping people, but mostly I’m just watching them die.”

Your passion had somehow faltered along the way, a passion that had been headstrong and untouchable since you were a child.

“Tsunade,” He said, pausing. “I’m sorry…” And he meant it.

Your hands were away from the board now, covering your face. You did not cry, it had been long past the point of tears for you, but your expression felt worse than broken sobbing. It was a tired, sad, sad face that invited more pity than any crying did.

“It’s okay.” You said, moving your hands, rubbing your face with them.

“How did it happen?”

Dan was twenty-seven when he died. It had been four months before Jiraiya came with go and beer, that Dan and you had just reconciled from your fight. The fight had been stupid, the usual this didn’t do the laundry or that didn’t take out the garbage. In future years you wouldn’t even remember. It was more of an obligation spat than a real fight. You both had enjoyed make up sex that morning, feeling the excitement of your wedding day nearing up. He had been walking home at around 10am from the grocery store, because you always did the shopping and he was a good boyfriend like that, when a car had hit him.

You told Jiraiya it was a car accident.

“He was driving?”

“No.” You said, tired of repeating the story. “The driver was an old man, late for work, he hadn’t been looking where he was going. Dan had been crossing the street.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

* * *

 

The alcohol got to you faster than you thought. In future the whole night would blur and blur in your memory until you could scarcely remember the game you both played. You both drank and drank until you could laugh without regretting it, until you were curled up on the dirty couch watching the low budget late night movie and for the first time ever letting him put his arm around you.

“This actress looks odd.” Jiraiya laughed. “Every time she smiled her eyes disappear.”

You let out a laugh, bringing the beer back to your mouth. “She looks twelve.”

“She reminds me of a girl I met in Kirigakure.”

“How many girls have you met travelling?” The words slurred in your mouth, and you let your head rest on his shoulder.

“Plenty.” He scoffed out.

“Is that why you left?” You chortled.

“Haha,” His laugh flickered and his grip around you shifts. “No.”

“Are you gonna get married one day?” There are words spilling out of you that you can’t even hear.

“I don’t know.” He laughed. “Are you?”

He regretted the words as soon as he said it, and suddenly there was a hand laid out in front of him with a ring. “I almost was. Remember?” This time your words are barely comprehensible. You’re laughing only because you had been laughing up to that point and it would seem weird to stop, but there are also tears coming out of your eyes that the alcohol dragged out and you know Jiraiya can feel them. “Did I tell you he proposed?”

“Tsunade…”

You were tired. So, so tired. And he felt you numbing in his arms.

“I’m sorry.”

Your face lay on his shoulder, pressed hard so he could not see. In a split moment you thought if you knew how safe these arms felt you would have let him hold you when Nawaki died. In another world you had, in another world you might have even been able to love Jiraiya, in the way he wanted, and the way you had needed.

“It’s not fair.” Your voice is a murmur. It was the last thing you said before crying yourself to sleep on his shoulder.

His hand rubbed your arm, holding you in place. The last thing you heard was his voice humming a song, a familiar tune that you had heard before but could not quite name.

* * *

 

You were twenty-seven, it was Monday at 8.30am when you woke up with the taste of alcohol in your mouth. You slowly stretched yourself, got out of bed and to take a shower.

* * *

 

Jiraiya’s body was not identified. You had heard the story when you were sixty-three. There had been a man that had lost a fight and ended up drowned in a river with nothing but a crystal necklace around his neck. His body had been so decomposed at that point he could not have been identifiable. The people that told the story around you treated it as gossip or a horror story.

They did not know the man, and they did not know you. They did not know how you knew it was Jiraiya, and they would not believe you if you said you did. Instead, you will go home and you will scream, and scream until your throat goes dry and the tears on your face stick from rage. You will feel your heart tear and bleed like you did not believe it could anymore. You will sob and weep and remind yourself you can’t make homes out of human beings. Somebody should’ve already told you that.

* * *

 


	11. Chapter 11

* * *

  _Naruto_

“What’s wrong? You hurt yourself?”

Naruto looked up at his uncle, face strained, trying not to let tears out. “My foot hurts.”

“You’re eight years old. What could you have done to it?” Jiraiya bent down, inspecting the young boy.

“I don’t know. I was outside playing and now it hurts.” Naruto explained with a red face. “It’s been hurting for half an hour…”

“Ah, come on. I’ll massage it.”

Naruto lay on the couch with his feet on Jiraiya’s lap while the old man massaged his strained tendon. He watched T.V.

“What are you humming?”

“Hm?”

“You’re humming something.” The boy said. “What is it?”

Jiraiya smiled. “Ue o muite arukō”

* * *

 

 _And you were not the only one with the burdens.  
                —_ Jhené Aiko, Comfort Inn Endings.

 

* * *

 Naruto

Konoha was a city of many heights and levels. There was the ground level, the middle level and the sky level. The ground level was at the base of the city, it was where the parks were, where the shade was and more times than not where the cheapest housing was. The middle level of Konoha on the other hand, was pretty much the essence of the city. There were long pathways and roads standing on pillars, connecting through the city to all the apartment buildings, store buildings and/or any other destination. Each road and pathway had strong railing outlining it. On certain roads there was extra high railing, and sometimes even a net placed underneath—for those with a history of suicidal jumpers. Sometimes instead of pathways there were simply natural made hills or slopes connecting the middle to the ground level. It was all too easy to walk and grow up on the middle level of Konoha, and forget that there was an underneath. Naruto had experienced this a lot when he was growing up, the idea that the ground he was walking on was not the ground of the earth escaped him, and it was only when he paused and leant against the railing, that he would remember he was walking in the sky.

Above the middle section were very few pathways.  Among the hills or surrounding mountains of Konoha there were few houses or properties that belonged above the middle level. There were pathways leading up to those properties— and in some cases to each other. But in general sky level was not common. Even the Uchiha did not live at Sky level.

On the ground level was Konoha’s park. The park was laid out long and wide with hills and pathways wavering through. The trees so tall and so high, if you were daring enough you could climb up to the middle level.

There were not many bodies of water in Konoha, only two rivers and one lake. Both rivers connected through the outskirts of Konoha, weaving their way in but never making it through the centre. The lake was large, almost a quarter of the city and the main attraction of the Konoha park.

“Do you remember when we were that age?” Naruto licked his chocolate ice-cream, and then pointed to a group of twelve year olds playing street soccer on an open field.

“Don’t point at them, moron.”

Naruto retaliated with a hit on the shoulder. “Shut up!” He turned back to the view. “Don’t you remember when we used to play?”

“Play what?”

“I don’t know. Games and stuff.”

“Neither of us had friends, Naruto.”

“We still used to play…!” Naruto exclaimed and then muttered “by ourselves.”

Sasuke had ended up going to Naruto’s apartment to tutor him. With Minato’s absence and Jiraiya’s leave, there was nothing holding him back. Sasuke had taught him basic maths. It had been more than a struggle beginning with. Naruto had lost his will to learn every time he became troubled by a problem and spent at least five minutes groaning and whining each time.

Sasuke had brought homework of his own so Naruto had not had to deal with the dark and judgmental peering of the Uchiha while he tried to solve a math problem. In fact, Sasuke had become somewhat more approachable because of it. He was a lot more business like when he was doing his own work. He answered everything with professionalism; there was no undirected snark or accidental sarcasm. It was plain and simple.

Naruto had finished about a quarter of his math work —which is a lot more he had achieved in any class— when he had started complaining about his hunger. Somehow, in a way Sasuke could not particularly explain if he had wanted to, Naruto had ended up bringing him to Konoha Park where they sat on a bench and ate ice-cream.

“Kiba used to play soccer all the time. Do you remember? Him and his friends.” Naruto said, watching the kids argue over who got the ball.

“You?”

“No. He never let me.” Naruto explained. “He’s not as much of an asshole now. Plus, it wasn’t just me. They wouldn’t let Chouji play, cause he was fat.”

Naruto felt Sasuke’s lingering eyes for a moment, something that felt like disapproval or worse.

“Did you ever play with them?”

“No.” Sasuke said.

“You were popular though, weren’t you?” Despite the fact he had no friends, the Uchiha still seemed well-liked.

“With girls.” Sasuke said. He had never wanted to play with those types of boys anyway.

After half an hour, Sasuke stood up with his finished ice-cream (Vanilla: The only sweet flavour he could withstand). “Let’s go.”

“Why?”

“You still have homework you need to finish.”

“Hey!” It was a high pitched voice that both boys turned around to.

Naruto recognised him as one of the boys he had seen playing soccer. He had dark hair, but light eyes and a smile on his face they recognised that meant trouble.

“Are you really Namizake’s son?”

Naruto paused, looking to Sasuke than back at the boy. “W—Talk to your elders with respect!” He was aware of the reputation he had made for himself, but still taken aback by the familiarity these young boys saw him in.

“Are you?!”

“Naruto. Let’s go.”

“So you are! Can you play soccer with us?!”

“What? Why?” Naruto asked.

“Please! Just for a bit!”

Naruto’s face strained, than slowly turned into a shy grin. “well, I mean… maybe—

“We’re busy.”

The little boy frowned at Sasuke. “Who are you?”

* * *

 

Naruto kicked the ball as hard as he could and then watched it softly roll down the hill towards the lake.

He heard whooping groans of the children and a loud “fuck!” as three boys ran from different sides to catch up to it.

He had been jogging lately. This had been one of his many attempts to regain his physique. Since he turned sixteen he had lazed and all his muscles had slowly turned into soft mush.

When he was younger he had been skinny and fit, like most boys their age. As he had gotten older he had become leaner and masculine in the way most boys also do. He had been jogging almost every day, and still his body felt soft to the touch. What was worse was the fact Sasuke— the person he was sleeping with and his long-time _rival_ — was anything but soft. Sure, there were parts of the Uchiha that were soft … But in the end he was still toned and hard. An annoying juxtaposition to Naruto, and one he was determined to fix.

Never having a chance to play soccer, had kept him from realising how unskilled he was at the game. Whenever the ball rolled near him, he would stick his foot out and the ball would roll past his foot and into a bush. Every time he tried to steal the ball, he would trip. He had tried to score once and ended up almost twisting his ankle. He was seventeen and less physically capable than a group of twelve year olds.

“Hey, bro!”

Naruto looked over to a snarky looking boy he knew would grow up to be fat.

“Are you really Uzumaki?”

“Yeah.”

“Why are you so shit at soccer?” The boy asked, disappointed.

Naruto was still unsure what these boys had heard about him. A reputation quickly turns into a legend, and legends always become fictionalised.

“Is it true you broke into a police car once?”

If he hadn’t been the son of Namizake Minato, he could’ve easily escaped this reputation. “I didn’t _break into_ it.” Naruto said. “And that was a long time ago.”

“Is it true that you stabbed Uchiha Sasuke in the arm?”

“What? No.”

Sasuke was not even looking at him. When Naruto looked back up to the bench, he was talking to someone else. A boy their age; with one hand on a leash, leading a medium sized dog and the other in his jean pocket. Who the hell was that?

“BALL!”

Maybe soccer would’ve been more fun if he was twelve again.

He rubbed his tendon, feeling a pang of pain. The other boys were sharing a single water bottle. The game had ended with a tie, usually these games never tied but one boy had complained he needed to end early because his mum would be angry if he came home late. They all stopped after that.

“You’re not what I thought you’d be like.” The snarky boy sat in front of him said.

“Yeah?”

“I thought you’d be cooler.” He took a bite from his chocolate bar, and then offered it to Naruto.

Naruto waved it off. Germs had always meant so little when they were young. “You guys play here a lot?”

“Nah, but it’s Aiki’s birthday. He got a new soccer ball.” He motioned to a skinny, petite looking boy. Not the type Naruto imagined to ever play sports.

“How old did he turn?”

“Twelve.” He took another bite of the chocolate bar, talking with his mouth open. “How old are you?”

“Seventeen.”

* * *

 

The sun would be setting soon. Naruto limped beside the Uchiha, following him to the bus stop. He hated taking the bus. Usually when he went out with his friends, there would be at least someone with a licence.

“My leg hurts.”

 “I’m not carrying you.”

“Shut up! That’s not what I meant.” He then muttered. “Why do you always have to walk so fast?”

Sasuke felt something grab to the back of his jacket. Naruto had started shaking him, after half an hour of walking. “How much longer do we have to get to the bus stop?”

“The more you whine the longer it takes.”

“My leg hurts! Asshole!”

“So?”

“Carry me!”

“Take care of yourself for once.”

* * *

 

“Do you remember—when we were eleven, and Kiba broke his leg getting out of the shower, and then he tried to cover it up?”

Sasuke felt Naruto grin on his shoulder, as though there was nothing wrong with him.

“How did he break it?”

“He was opening the door to get out and slipped.” Kiba had come to school next day with a cast, expecting sympathy and instead receiving a year of undying jokes and laughs about the boy who _broke his leg_ getting out of the _shower_.

“Have you ever broken a bone?”

Sasuke said “No.”

“I fractured my arm once.”

“Hn.”

Naruto continued. “I was trying to reach the ice-cream—we had a really tall fridge back then. I slipped and fell.” Naruto explained.

“When was this? Last year?”

“Shut up. I was nine. Besides, my uncle felt so bad afterwards he bought me ice-cream.”

“You’re so accident prone. I’m surprised you haven’t broken every bone in your body. I’m surprised you weren’t the one to break your leg slipping in the shower.”

“ _Shut up_ ,” Naruto replied. “It’s just a sprain because I didn’t stretch properly.”

 “If it’s just a sprain why do I need to carry you?”

“Because…!” He left the word hanging and expected to be thrown down the hill.

* * *

 

“This isn’t the way to the bus stop.” Naruto muttered.

“I know.”

Naruto paused, “where the hell are you taking me…?”

“I need to use the bathroom, _idiot_.”

“Oh.”

The park bathrooms were made from stone with a curved entrance and no door. For a reason unbeknown to Naruto, it had been built on a hill. He had almost felt bad for Sasuke having to carry him— almost. At the top of the hill was less groomed and pruned than the rest of the park. The trees were not planted in any pattern, the weeds grew wherever they could and the bridge Naruto stood on appeared malnourished. The area in general seemed a lot more natural to the wilderness than the rest.

He looked down into the 15 foot drop of the storm drain: Steep stone walls surrounded the long passage and dark, murky mud rested at the bottom along with strayed garbage.

“What are you doing here?” Sasuke returned.

Naruto glanced back. The storm drain lay behind the bathrooms. “Nothing.”

“Then let’s go.”

Naruto asked “do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Sasuke stood on the bridge. He could hear the wind, birds and traffic in the distance. “I don’t hear anything. Naruto.”

The blond grabbed his arm. “ _That_.”

Underneath the wind, birds and traffic, was what Sasuke heard as a chirp. “It’s a bird.”

“It’s not a bird!” He tightened his grip around Sasuke’s arm and motioned to the small, island of mud. Underneath the remnants of a flattened cardboard box, was rustling, and then another chirp.

* * *

 Sasuke

The water wasn’t as deep as Sasuke had thought. In fact, it was only a thin layer that felt the same as stepping in a shallow puddle. However, it was muddy.

“Use your jacket!”

“I know.”

Naruto sat on the edge of the storm drain, watching him take it off. Sasuke had been the more physically capable one, he had argued. Though, Naruto had been willing to do the job, in the end it had been Sasuke thoroughly convinced the Uzumaki would just make a huge mess, get injured—further—and fail.

Sasuke watched the cardboard rustle as the movement underneath paused and restarted.

He walked towards the left, the side of the cardboard that was furthest from the wall. He took that side and moved it so that against the wall so there was no exit route.

“What is it?!” Naruto called.

Two sets of yellow eyes stared up at Sasuke.

Foxes were common in Konoha Park. Hell, they were common in the city. Before Konoha had become a developed community it had had high wildlife. The environment had always encouraged nature, with a long history of agricultural themes and the importance the city held in its habitat. Though, somewhere along the line the natural wildlife had started to decline, all but the foxes. Foxes had learned to adjust to the changing land just as much as the people. Now, in Konoha Park—particularly on the hills and high ground—laid fox dens, burrows, and families. There were areas where the animals had become completely unfazed by human contact and were even prone to approach people.

These cubs however were unused to the look of humans, and seemed very aggressive and wary of Sasuke. He thought they were young, (though he didn’t know a lot about animals). Their supposed red fur was covered in mud, making them look like feral pups rather than fox cubs.

“Sasuke!” Naruto called.

“They’re fox cubs.”

He ignored Naruto’s aw and readied his jacket.

This would be harder with two. Initially he had thought the movement was a cat or kitten—the only animal who he knew a little about—which naturally meant they would have been easy to handle as long as he could wrap them in thick fabric. Cats were always easy to hold when contained. It was the containing that was the hard part.

Foxes on the other hand, he didn’t know about.

 It would be too hard to pick them up by the scruff. The cubs were on top of each other, huddled against the wall and cardboard. They would lash out as soon as they felt a touch. The one that was underneath barely reacted, whereas his sibling that was on top started to growl and eye Sasuke’s jacket.

When the material made contact the cub went wild. It started panicking, biting through the jacket and clawing at anything it could.

“Fuck.”

“What happened?!”

“Nothing.” Sasuke ignored the blood on his hand. He managed to wrap the jacket around tightly enough to contain both.

“What happened?!” Naruto repeated when Sasuke started to stand.

He held the moving bundle in his arms. “Take them.”

Naruto resembled to Sasuke a mother receiving a newborn for the first time. He held it awkwardly. It was an aggressive bundle wrapped in a jacket with yipping sounds sharp teeth. Naruto looked back up to find Sasuke watching him.

“You want to see the release?”

“No. Hurry up. They smell.”

Naruto pouted, but walked back towards the forestry. He put the bundle on the ground and let it unravel by itself. One large brown cub came out fighting, yipping and biting all he could. When he felt the dry ground underneath him, he paused, staring up at Naruto, and then sprinting into the shrubs. The other one ran out as soon as he could, tripping on his tail and feet multiple times until he fell into the same shrub his sibling ran into.

* * *

 Naruto

“Do you think foxes are more like cats or dogs?”

Sasuke let the silence keep peace before saying “why?”

“Just answer the question!”

“They’re neither.”

“But which do you think they resemble more?” Naruto continued.

Sasuke kept his left hand firmly around his right, which had received the most damage. There were scratches all along his fingers and two bite wounds which he would have to Band-Aid. “Dogs.”

“No.” Naruto argued. “They’re more like cats.” Naruto held Sasuke’s dirty and muddy smelling jacket in his lap, out of obligation. He had also had to take his own jacket off, which the Uchiha now wore.

“How do you know? Are you an expert?”

“No. But, because,” He said. “Dogs are more sociable and stuff. Foxes only care about food, like cats.”

“That’s your logic?”

“Yeah.”

Sasuke scoffed.

“It’s true.” Naruto argued.

“You don’t like cats?”

Naruto pouted. “It’s not that. They just don’t like me.” He then turned to look at Sasuke. “Why? You hate them, don’t you?”

“I don’t care for them.”

“You don’t care about anything.” Naruto said.

“Hn.”

“Would you have one as a pet?”

“I don’t need to.”

“What do you mean?” The blond asked.

“There are plenty on my property already.” Sasuke said.

“What?!” This time people on the bus turned. It was late in the day and no one had patience for loud teenage boys on any public transport.

“There are cats in my neighbourhood, they visit my house a lot. It’s nothing spectacular.” Mostly they just shit in the gardens, fought or meowed for food.

Naruto groaned quietly. “I wish cats visited me.” He’d always wanted pets when he was younger. Even rouge cats would’ve excited him. “What are they like?”

“I don’t know. They’re cats.” The Uchiha property was large with a lot of space in their backyard. Most cats lived outdoors, so it was normal to see a few wondering every now and then. Though there were a few that had decided to take permanent residence.

“Send me pictures!”

“No.”

“I’m serious! I wanna see what they look like!”

* * *

 

“Do you watch T.V?”

“Don’t you have homework to do?”

“I already did a lot.” Naruto replied. “Cut me some slack.”

By the time they arrived at Naruto’s door. The temperature dropped, clouds gathered and rain poured. Luckily Minato would most likely be spending the night at his office—though since the summer holiday had started the father had been spending more and more time at home, surprisingly.

Naruto had not so much as glanced at this unfinished homework when they’d returned. He’d gotten food and then headed straight to the floor, where he laid watching shows on his old, cheap mini T.V. Sasuke on the other had gone straight for the shower, only to return to finish his study. He wore Naruto’s clothes and the blond had agreed to wash his dirty clothes for him.

“Hey, bastard.”

“What?”

“When was the last time we had sex?”

Sasuke had his back to the blond and couldn’t see him watching him. “I’m studying, Naruto.”

“I’m just asking.”

* * *

 

Sasuke’s cock was long and hard before Naruto had finished unzipping the boys’ pants. It stuck out like a pole, and for a second he wasn’t too sure what to do with it. He ran his hand along the staff, feeling Sasuke’s pulse and hardness— too embarrassed to look up.

His tongue ran along Sasuke’s penis, licking the head, and then for the first time ever, swallowing a cock into his mouth. There was no taste that he was aware off—or maybe that was because Sasuke showered. He gripped onto the chair’s handles, gaining leverage and pushing his head down until the whole member was in his mouth, choking.

Sasuke tightened his hands in Naruto’s hair and started to guide him, slow at first—almost considerate—and then it became needy.

Their rhythm became erratic, like a sport.

He gave a choked groan when he felt Sasuke’s tip hitting the inside of his throat, and then pressing his cock against the inside of Naruto’s mouth. Sasuke’s cock lodged itself back deep, and Naruto felt the hot cum running down his throat as he choked.

* * *

 

“Are you going?”

It was nearing 12am and Naruto rolled around in his bed. They’d both watched TV and ended up falling asleep. The day had become night.

“Yeah.” Sasuke packed his homework away.

“It’s raining.”

“I know.” Sasuke said.

Their voices were low and tired, mere grumbles underneath the sound of the dropping rain. “Do you have an umbrella?”

“No.”

“I think there’s one in my closet.” Naruto said. “Have it.”

The umbrella Sasuke found looked brand new. It was a light colour made from plastic, the type that suited Naruto but Sasuke couldn’t imagine the blond choosing. “You bought this?”

Naruto grumbled, turning away. “Hinata gave it to me ages ago—a birthday present. You can have it.” He’d had to walk home once in the pouring rain. She’d been kind enough to notice and bought him that for his birthday (which had been the next week.) Despite his father having bought him one the day before—the one he used—he hadn’t had the heart to reject her. So he’d accepted and never touched it.

“It's rude to give away a present.”

“Fuck off.”

* * *

 Sasuke

When Sasuke left the apartment building he brought a cigarette to his mouth and a lighter in his hand. He didn’t like to smoke a lot, but it felt right to do it in the rain.

He fiddled with the umbrella, struggling to open what’s been closed for years. When he did the umbrella jammed open in front of him and spit something onto the ground.

On the concrete, in front of his feet lay a small envelope folded permanently by time. He opened it up with a struggle, only to find a note with a single sentence on it. Written in girly handwriting, it said ‘ _I like you’_.

 

* * *

 


	12. Chapter 12

* * *

 Naruto

“Naruto.”

“What?” His voice was groggy. “Sakura?”

“What are you doing?”

He grumbled, coughed, and then in a raspy voice said. “Sleeping. Why are you calling so early?”

“It’s 11am.”

“Yeah…?” He rolled around his bed, burying his face in his pillow. “ _Early_.”

“What do you mean _early_? When do you usually get up?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

Sasuke coming over and forcing him to study. “Nothing. I don’t know. Why are you calling?”

“What are you doing today?”

“Sleeping.” He muttered. God, his pillow smelled so great.

“I’m going shopping, do you want to come with me?”

“Sakura…” He paused then in a coy voice said “don’t tell me you’re asking me out…”

“No! _moron_!... I just wanna hang out…”

* * *

 

The shopping centre was large with many levels. Naruto didn’t go there often because it usually closed late afternoon, which was when he woke up, usually. He never put too much effort in how he dressed, so there was never a real reason for him to go anyway. The floors were made of marble and the building was filled with never ending echoes of feet. The food courts were the loudest, it was the places people stopped, sat and spoke. Everywhere else they walked and rushed like a river people. It was mainly a female destination. Most of the time when boys visited it was with their girlfriends, which Naruto walking next to Sakura, looked like.  

“Have you done the homework?”

“Argh,” He ran a hand over his face. “Some.”

She looked up at him in surprise. “Really?!”

“Why are you so surprised?!”

“ _Naruto_ : Who always saves homework until the last minute?!”

“I said _some_.” He muttered. “Have you?”

“Of course.” She said. “I’ve finished mine.”

“You probably didn’t even need to.”

“What do you mean?”

“Kurenai passes you no matter what.” Naruto said. “She probably won’t even check it.”

She laughed.

It took them years after introduction to start hanging out together. Naruto had never believed they would be friends, let alone like this.

She had always been hesitant. She thought his proclaims of love for her would only intensify after puberty, but they had softened to the point of mere jokes. Which was good—though surprising, it was easier to be friends with Hinata now.

Hinata did not entirely believe Naruto was over with Sakura, though. But those were the thoughts of a love struck seventeen year old. Any look was a type of look to her.

“What are you doing this weekend?” Sakura asked.

“Uh, I don’t know.”

“What did you do last weekend?”

“I went out with Sasuke.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

There was a pause followed by an awkward silence. Maybe he should’ve lied.

When she spoke next, her voice sounded too bubbly. “It’s been a while since we’ve gone somewhere together.”

“Yeah.”

The store they entered was too expensive. He never spent this much money on clothes— he was a boy, he didn’t have to. Besides, everything in this store was dark or at least a dark shade. The furniture and walls were all white for juxtaposition, and it felt unnecessarily air-conditioned—very cold.

But she said he had bad fashion taste.

When he was young Naruto had dressed dramatically and extravagantly, with bright colours and patterns, (a mixture of attention seeking and self-expression). Since his maturity into a young adult, he had been calming down— though his colours were often still bright, they usually matched.  Despite this, Sakura still disapproved.

“Do you need help with something?”

He turned around to see a short and stout woman smiling up at him. “Uh, no thanks.”

“You sure?”

“Uh… No thanks…”

He watched her eye him up hesitantly before walking away. Great.

“Naruto!”

He turned around.

Sakura held up a blue and white striped shirt. It was his size. “What do you think?” She furrowed her eyebrows when his face twisted. “What? What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s not really my taste…”

“Why? That can be a good thing.”

“It’s ugly.”

Sakura’s threw the shirt, hitting his face. “Well then, you better start searching for yourself!”

He laughed as she stormed off.

When he was young his dad had always taken him to the ground level markets of Konoha. Sure, they were cheap, but there were some good quality. His dad had instilled him a nature to save money, to watch his balance. Jiraiya, on the other hand, had never been so thoughtful. Like the happy monkey that swung from branch to branch, he had taught Naruto to do what you did to be happy. Live fast, die young. (Minato had almost gotten into physical confrontations with Jiraiya multiple times because of that teaching.)

* * *

 

He was never fortunate enough to have a mother to take him shopping, but from what he heard from Shikamaru and Kiba, this impatient and boring waiting must be what it felt like.

For a moment he thought he saw someone familiar outside, his eyes wavered, nothing. Then he heard giggles.

He looked outside again only to see a group of girls—his age—huddled and talking. They wore tight clothes and had long hair, the type with matching appearances as though it was a coordinated pallet. He hated those types of groups.

He turned away, suddenly self-conscious. It was times like these he felt like the chubby little eleven year old he once was.

“Naruto?”

He turned around, and Suigetsu stared up at him with big eyes, one hand with bubble tea and the other in his pocket.

“What the hell?!” Naruto exclaimed. “How did you find me?!”

“I saw you from outside.”

“What are you doing here?!”

Suigetsu sipped on his bubble tea. “I just finished a date.”

Everything Suigetsu said sounded sly and suggestive. Dates were something Naruto never imagined him on. “With who?”

Suigetsu sipped his bubble tea. “Your dad.”

Naruto’s face twisted and Suigetsu laughed.

“Kidding! I’m gonna go see a film now.”

“Yeah?” Naruto turned around. “Have fun.”

“Yeah. Wanna come?”

“Hell no! Go away!”

“What?! Why?”

“Cause!” Naruto replied, like a five year old.

“You’re not as nice as Sasuke said you were.” Suigetsu muttered.

“What?” He turned around.

“Nothing.” Suigetsu said. “By the way those girls were talking about you.”

“Huh?”

The group of girls weren’t giggling anymore, but talking very enthusiastically. His eyes met with one of them. She smiled and he looked away with pink cheeks.

“Are you gonna talk to them?”

“No.”

“Why? You on a date?”

“Fuck off.”

This time when he turned around he felt a slap on his ass. With a red face he turned around ready to punch the boy, only to see Suigetsu waving his bubble tea in one hand and his rude finger in the other, smiling, as always.

“Naruto?”

He turned around again, still flustered and red. Sakura looked at him with a raised brow.

“Was that Suigetsu?”

“No. Never mind. Let’s go.”

* * *

 Kakashi

Kakashi’s father was a kind and loyal man, who had sunk into a depression and committed suicide when his son turned thirteen. Hatake Sakumo had been a police officer, and often Kakashi thought what it would’ve been like to follow in his father’s footsteps. He’d grown up chasing his dead father, and when the air cleared, he stopped running and began walking.

 **To:** Kakashi  
**From:** Iruka  
**Message:**  
_Are we having dinner tonight?_

Did they plan dinner? Kakashi had forgotten. He scanned the isles in the grocery store, orange juice, apple juice, sake… What was the best drink for a household? All?

 **To:** Iruka  
**From:** Kakashi  
**Message:**  
_Can’t. Busy._

 Messaging was too complex and open to interpretation. A full stop here means anger. A capital letter here means loudness… He preferred calls, really. His hand was on the sake when his phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Where are you?” Minato asked.

Kakashi paused. “The grocery store.”

“Are you done?”

“Not yet…”

“… How long…?”

“I don’t know.” This wasn’t Kakashi’s forte. “You should’ve called Tsunade.”

“She was busy.”

Kakashi knew it was a lie. Even a man like Minato had to hold onto his pride against a woman like that at some point. “Don’t you have any woman in your life?”

There was a moment of quiet, and then Minato’s teacher voice said, “Hurry up, Hatake.”

* * *

Naruto 

“What do you think?” Sakura waved the shopping bags in front of him.

They had spent far too long shopping for his taste, and in the end she’d chosen and bought all his clothes: Three new shirts, two new pants and one pricey jacket. None of which he thought he needed.

“I’m hungry.”

Sakura furrowed her eyebrows. “Is food all you think about?”

“Yeah.”

She rolled her eyes. He really was a child sometimes. “Fine. But you’re paying for the meal. Think of it as even, since I bought the clothes.” He hadn’t had the money on him, and for some reason Sakura had _really_ wanted him to have those clothes.

Naruto didn’t particularly like the ramen they sold in the shopping centre, but it was an improvement from the two minute packets he was used to.

“It says two ramen cost ¥1200.”

“Okay, hold on.” He reached to his back pocket, expecting to find the sturdy leather wallet he was used to sitting on every day. He felt nothing.

“What is it?” She watched him scramble. “Naruto?”

His eyes widened, as though realisation. “I’ll be right back!”

“Naruto!”

* * *

 Kakashi

His dark eyes stared at the ends of blond hair, measuring. Kakashi had outgrown Minato by exactly two centimetres.

“I’m not a good cook.”

“Does Naruto know how to cook?”

“Hopefully. His mother did.” Minato pulled out chicken strips from one of the plastic bags.

Kakashi sat himself on the kitchen bar stool. “I never pictured her for a cook.”

“She made a hell of a mess. But she got the job done.” He smiled, neither at Kakashi nor his words. Just smiled. “At my work they have places to eat, there’s always food. I never really come home hungry. It was only recently I’ve started wondering what exactly Naruto eats.”

“He never said anything?”

“He never complained.” Minato said. “So I just assumed it was fine.” Their fridge was empty, far too empty for a seventeen year old boy.

“He always buys food from school.”

“It’s a waste of money.” Minato explained. “I’ll pay you back for this.”

“It’s fine.”

“I just… didn’t know what to buy.” Minato explained looking through the plastic bags.

Kakashi watched him place the eggs hesitantly in the fridge. “It’s fine,” he repeated.

Kakashi had trained under Minato for a full year after high school before deciding to teach instead. The police work was not made for him, as Jiraiya had already warned. It was strict and orderly, two things that Kakashi was not. But he had wanted to be like his father.

“I never imagined you would be teaching my son, you know.”

Kakashi snickered. “Oh? Me neither.”

“I never imagined you would be teaching in general, let alone high school.” Minato continued. “Is he behaving?”

“He’s improved.”

Minato turned. “Really?”

“Yeah, I hope he doesn’t do anything stupid during break.”

“That makes both of us—Kakashi..?”

“Yeah?”

Minato lifted two bottles of alcohol. “Why did you buy these?”

“It’s only two.”

“There are three other bottles.”

“I didn’t know which to choose.” Kakashi said. “Every house needs alcohol to serve.”

“I don’t drink, you know that.” Minato didn’t have a high alcohol tolerance, he’d never needed it.  

“What if guests come over?”

“Like who?”

“I don’t know. Me?”

Minato stared at his former student, and then rolled his eyes. “You know Naruto will find this.” He pulled out a cup and gave the sake to Kakashi.

“He’s a good kid.”

“I found him drunk, you know, the other day.” The man packed the plastic bags away.

“Drunk?” Kakashi laughed. “How?”

“When Jiraiya was staying here. After you got him drunk—

“He got himself drunk.”

—I took him home, and Naruto was nearly passed out.”

“What do you mean?” Kakashi laughed.

“He was on the floor, with the Uchiha boy.” Minato poured himself sake, and drank. “Of all people.”

* * *

 Suigetsu

The film had bad acting, but then again most gay films do. It was always forced one way or another, as though actors who had no problem acting gay were given the problem when they were put in the public eye. How to act gay enough to keep character but not so gay to lose your own masculinity. Petty.

He didn’t even remember the last time he’d seen a film in the theatre. His supposed date had ended after a quick fuck in the bathrooms—not that he was complaining—it hadn’t meant to be much of a date to begin with. He never really liked films by himself, even at home.

“You—!” Suigetsu’s arm was grabbed like a life vest from a drowning man.

A series of shushes sounded and he could feel people turning and staring up at them. He turned to Naruto with a raised brow. “I was watching the film.”

“Where’s my wallet?!” Suigetsu didn’t reply and Naruto shook his arm like an impatient child shook their mother’s sleeve. “ _Where’s my wallet_?!”

“How did you know I was watching this one?”

“It’s a _gay_ film!” Naruto rolled his eyes and Suigetsu grinned ear to ear.

“You sound tired. Did you run here?”

“Where’s my wallet?!”

Suigetsu pulled the wallet out of his pocket. He hadn’t even used it. There’d been no money in it anyway. (Who goes shopping with no money?)

Naruto grabbed the wallet but Suigetsu held on. “Watch the film with me.”

“What? No.”

His grip tightened. “Watch it.”

“I came here with Sakura.”

“She’s only with you because she wants to get close to Sasuke!” Suigetsu said.

“I told her I’d be back soon.”

* * *

 Kakashi

“How much did I drink?”

“A lot.” Kakashi replied. Well, half a bottle to be precise. But, for some that was a lot.

Kakashi didn’t remember the last time he’d spent an hour in the Namizake household just drinking, if he ever had. Maybe the last time was when Naruto had been small, with Jiraiya. The night was going to become dark soon, and Kakashi was starting to crave his own bed. Minato stood only barely. He ran a hand over his face, rubbing his thumb and index finger onto his closed lids.

He always felt so young around his former teacher, maybe because of Minato’s old soul.

“I’m too old for this stuff.”

“Isn’t Jiraiya twice your age?” Kakashi asked. He could still taste alcohol in his mouth.

“Jiraiya isn’t human.”  

Kakashi took the man’s arm and wrapped it around his neck. “I’ll take you to your room.”

Minato had been the best teacher Kakashi had ever had, including primary school all the way to his university. Minato had had patience, and understanding. Two simple things that Kakashi hadn’t thought were so rare and hard for teachers. It was something Kakashi would always be grateful for.

He placed Minato on his double bed, not looking at old wedding photos. The only room in the apartment with family photos.

“Don’t tell Naruto about this.” Minato muttered. “Take care of yourself.”

Kakashi closed the door quietly, and left the apartment even more so. When he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone he had one unread message.

 **To:** Kakashi  
**From:** Iruka  
**Message:**  
_I’m at your apartment._

* * *

 Naruto

The sun was almost setting and the air felt warm in his lungs. Sakura had ended up paying for the food anyway, he had come back not only late, but moneyless. His wallet was empty, and had been empty before he arrived to the shopping centre.

“Do you like chocolate?”

They had settled for snacks.

“Yeah,” he said, chewing on his pocky.

“I always preferred vanilla.” Sakura admitted.

“I thought you’d like strawberry.”

Sakura smiled. “I used to. But Ino loves strawberry, so when I was little I conditioned myself to prefer vanilla.”

Naruto laughed.

“Where did you go?”

He was quiet, humming, and then said “I thought I forgot something.”

“Your wallet?”

“Yeah.”

He thought she’d ask further, but instead she turned away.

The bench they sat on had felt like molten lava when they first touched it. Even under the tree’s shade it had been hot as hell. He hadn’t particularly wanted to sit outside, but it had been too loud inside.

 He pretended not to notice her gaze. There were times he thought she really didn’t like him. There were fleeting moments where she looked at him a certain way in which he could not decipher. Eventually, she said “I still like Sasuke.”

* * *

Suigetsu 

It was almost half way through the film and Suigetsu was painfully aware of how high the air conditioning was. He dug his hands at his sides, burying them beneath his thin jacket. His head was laid back, leaning at the back of his chair and eyes closed. He didn’t have to open his eyes to know what was happening.

His whole chair vibrated with the heavy force of the person next to him. His eyes split open to see who had slammed his way into the chair next to him, only to stare into stubborn and prideful looking Uzumaki eyes.

Suigetsu’s face twisted in a smile. “What happened to your date?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh?” He ignored the shushing of the person in front of them. “She asked for Sasuke’s phone number?”

“No. She left.”

Suigetsu stared at him, willing an explanation out of him.

“She asked to set up a date.”

He grinned. “And?”

“And what? I said okay. Now fuck off. What’s this film about?”

* * *

Kakashi 

There had only been two people in Kakashi’s life that he had been able to love—to be _in love_ with. One of them was long dead, and the other was far, far from his reach.

“I told you I was busy.”

Iruka stared at him, plastic bags in hand. “I thought you’d be done by now.”

The alcohol was getting to his head. All he wanted to do was sleep. He should’ve given Iruka a key to the apartment at least. He unlocked the door. Iruka had been more than helping in his life for a while. It was his nature. The twenty-seven year old had always been caring and nurturing, as though he was born with the maternal instinct only women were meant to have, even towards a man four years older than him.

“How long were you waiting?”

“Not long. I was about to call as you came.”

Kakashi put his keys on the kitchen bench, turning on the lights and watching the dead apartment slowly breathe life.

Iruka stood at the kitchen bench where the grocery bags now lay. "Have you been drinking?"

“No.” Kakashi lied.

* * *

 Naruto

Naruto sat in front of the ramen stand. It was already dark, the street lights were glaring and the noise of conversation wavered in the crowd. It was a warm summer night, which meant even through the darkness people would find an excuse to go out.

“Are you stupid?” Sasuke’s monotone voice interrupted.

Naruto looked up with a grin. “Shut up. I’m hungry.”

“Is this why you called? You said you finished your homework.”

“I did.” Naruto stood up, walking alongside him. “Sort of. Where do you wanna eat?”

“I don’t know. Are you paying?”

“No. I’m broke.” Naruto said, waving the empty pocky packet in his face. “All I had today was pocky.”

“Are you on a diet or what, moron?”

“Maybe.” Naruto cooed.

“It’s not working.”

* * *

 


	13. Chapter 13

* * *

 

_Sasuke_

Sasuke didn’t even know why he had been looking for Naruto—maybe to settle a score or start a fight? It felt like his whole childhood had just been looking for Naruto. Either way, he was twelve years old with a pre-pubescent fire burning in his loins saying find that Uzumaki brat.

Sakura had been eating lunch alone, waiting for her friends: Knees together tightly on the bench, chewing her food in silence.

There would never come a day in Sasuke’s life when he would understand why Naruto had loved Sakura that way. _How_ , he had loved her that way. But, he had. He was always fussing over the girl as though she was the only one for miles, which meant she would probably have an idea at least to where he was.

“Sakura.”

She looked up, stopped chewing and stared with big eyes.

“Where’s Naruto?”

Maybe she saw his look of impatience because she covered her mouth with her hand and said “Uh, I don’t know? Sorry—

He didn’t even say goodbye.

Flustered, she stood up, swallowing and said “Uh! Who cares about Naruto?! You can sit with me… if you want.”

He glanced at her, and then slowly around.

“All he does is fight with you.” She said, and then muttered. “Well, he doesn’t have a normal childhood, so…” She looked at him again, he wasn’t moving. Then the jealousy turned in her stomach and came out of her mouth like vomit. “You know, he doesn’t even have a mum.” 

He looked at her, and she continued. “He’s always acting selfish, doing whatever he wants. My mum would yell at me, but since he doesn’t have one… He doesn’t get taught anything. Maybe that’s why he’s always being an idiot and making trouble…”

“Why are you making fun of Naruto, for not having a mother? You don’t even have a father.” His attention had come at a price. “Don’t talk to me again. You’re annoying.”

* * *

 

Naruto

“What are you doing?”

Sasuke’s voice was hollow on the other line, missing his edge. “Why are you calling?”

“I hate when you answer a question with another question!”

“Why are you calling?” Sasuke’s voice was drier, deeper and almost whiny when in midst sleep. It was so un-familiar Sasuke that Naruto couldn’t help craving the enjoyment of it.

“I’m bored.” Naruto cooed.

There was a pause. “Go back to sleep.”

“I’m not tired.”

“ _Naruto_.”

“Please—

“You’re always waking me up.”

“ _Please_ —

The quiet on the other line was so long Naruto thought he hung up, until he heard a yielding sigh. “What do you want?”

* * *

 

The sushi restaurant was tinged with black and red, he’d wanted to go to a traditional one but Sasuke had argued their prices were too high. In the end he had surrendered for this modern, romantically lit sushi restaurant. He didn’t really take notice, or even care, that the only other customers were couples—apart from a group of business men who were drinking and laughing too loudly for this atmospheric restaurant.

“You don’t have food at home?”

Naruto crossed his feet under his chair. “No.”

“What do you eat?”

“I go out to eat.” Naruto said. “Or at school.”

“Learn how to cook.”

“I know how to cook.” Naruto frowned at Sasuke’s doubtful stare. “I _do_! Just because I don’t do it a lot doesn’t mean I don’t know how!” He then muttered “I just get lazy… Plus you have to buy _ingredients_.”

Sasuke gave him a disbelieving stare, but said nothing.

“What do you eat?” Naruto asked.

“Food.”

“At home?”

“Yes.”

Naruto kicked him under the table. “Don’t be an asshole.”

Naruto had woken him up at 11.30pm just to eat, instead of stating this, he replied, “I eat what my mother makes.”

“Your mum cooks?”

“Is that surprising?”

Naruto had imagined Sasuke’s mother as a beautiful, young, rich woman who had married his father for a good life and well educated children. He had imagined her walking through gardens, or reading novels— but not cooking. Cooking was hard and messy and sweaty and not at all poetic like the films made it to be.

“What does your mum cook?” Naruto asked.

“Curries. Lots of meat.”

“You like spicy food?”

“No.” Sasuke said.

“What? I love it. Do you have like a whole family dinner every night?”

Sasuke made a face and scoffing said “ _no_.”

“Here is your food!” The waitress was short and stout. She blushed heavily as she put the plates down. “Thank you! Enjoy your food!”

After the waitress left, Sasuke said “you ordered too much.” The restaurant made customers pay extra if they didn’t finish their rice.

“No, I didn’t!” Naruto broke his chopsticks. “Why did you order dumplings?”

“I’m not allowed to order dumplings?”

“Shut up.”

Sasuke watched him eat: Miso soup and rice. “I wasn’t hungry to begin with.”

Naruto grinned apathetically.

“Be honest, Fujikaze Yukie?” A deep voice.

“I don’t think she’s as good looking as everyone says she is.” Another replied.

“She has amazing breasts.”

“No way…”

“I’m telling you, her boobs her huge.”

Was that was Naruto and his friends sounded like when they talked about women?

“It’s just the editing.”

“They can’t edit those double D’s!”

The group of business men were three tables away from them, but loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear. Al of them were min their mid-thirties at the least. They were all dressed in suits—many had taken their coats off and rolled up their sleeves, like yakuza members, but cornier. All they spoke about was money, alcohol, and women.

The dumplings tasted like beef. They were hot and chewy in Naruto’s mouth as he stared at his food, trying to ignore the group of men behind them.

“If you weren’t hungry why did you order so many dumplings?”

Sasuke didn’t look up at him. “Because I knew you’d fucking take mine.”

He grinned. Naruto had been not even a quarter through his own food when he’d reached over the table for Sasuke’s plate. He’d been expecting a slap on the hand or a swear, instead he just received annoyed and unsurprised dismissal.

Each was half way through their meals, eating each other’s.

“If Fujikaze Yukie walked in here right now, it would be over, I’m telling you.”

“She wouldn’t want you.” A laugh.

“Who cares what she’d want…”

“Are you going to finish your soup?” Sasuke’s voice was low, tired, and a hint of annoyed.

Naruto spoke over the loud roar of laughter from the business men. “Yeah.”

“Hurry up.”

“I don’t like it here.”

“You chose to eat here.” Sasuke said.

Naruto’s mouth twisted, old men ruined everything. Putting his cheek in his hand, he said “they’re like forty years old why are they talking about that? It’s so gross.”

Sasuke said nothing.

“No wonder most of them aren’t married.” Naruto said, and then muttered. “They look like they can’t finish sex without crying.”

Sasuke with his eyes on his food felt a smirk crawling on his face.

Naruto laughed, which was soon drowned out by the loud roar of business men.

“Do you wanna eat outside?”

“Yes.”

It was dark outside in the open aired part of the restaurant, and warm. It wasn’t easy to find a table for two. They’d had to settle for a dirty table, Sasuke had had to ask a waitress to wipe it down first—thankfully.

The streets were also busy, most of all couples or families—no one alone. He could hear a few foreign dialects among the people. Foreigners usually came around during the summer, stayed long enough to enjoy the highlights of the city, and left just as the dark days arrived.

Naruto drank his sake heartedly. “You don’t drink a lot of alcohol?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Do I have to?” Sasuke had only taken a few sips of sake the whole night.

“I’m just asking, bastard.” Naruto had abandoned his food at this point.

Sasuke put the food in his mouth, chewed, and then swallowed. “I don’t have a high alcohol tolerance.”

“Really?”

“Is that surprising?”

“No.” Naruto lied, unwilling to admit he had always imagined Sasuke good at everything.

* * *

 

“You shouldn’t have eaten all that rice!” Naruto watched Sasuke bending over next to a tree, vomiting.

Between deep breathes he heard Sasuke mutter a “fuck you”, and then more vomit.

Naruto rolled his eyes, but did not move away. “Where should we go to now?”

Sasuke was bent over, hands on his knees. “Are you not satisfied?”

“No. Let’s go to a bar.”

The Uchiha straightened, face flushed and in a groggy voice said “are you fucking stupid?”

Sasuke was docile at night, despite his words. Like a baby woken from a nap.

“C’mon.”

“ _Naruto_.”

* * *

 

They ended up going to a bar with a balcony. Naruto had wanted to sit on the balcony but on a night like this the balcony was already filled with people. They wouldn’t have even been able to find a seat inside until Naruto had seen one couple about to leave, dragging Sasuke near them and waiting awkwardly as they slowly packed up and left.

The table they sat on was a two seat table next to the brick wall and under a large photograph of the Konoha Tower.

“This bar is smaller than I expected.” Naruto said.

“Hn.”

“It looked bigger outside.” Naruto lightly kicked Sasuke’s shins.

The Uchiha didn’t respond, sipping on his water.

Naruto sighed, looking back at the bar. The line for drinks was shortening. “I’m gonna go order something. You want anything?”

“No.”

Naruto pouted. “Asshole.”

Naruto waited around ten minutes in the line, glancing back at Sasuke every now and then, who sat depressingly at their table—then again most everything Sasuke did he did depressingly. The blond dug his hands in his pockets, growing annoyed. Most people in the line were just talking and almost all took the time to think over their drink the minute they were asked for it.

There were two men in front of him, more than noticeably not their first time ordering a drink—they reeked of alcohol. Both were tall—or at least taller than him. Grown adults. They wore dark, tight shirts and one of them had a shaved head, smelling of cigarettes.

The bartender handed his last drink and looked between them.

After ten seconds of pause, Naruto walked around them and to the bartender.

The bartender was a short, stout young man with dark tied hair. “What would you like?”

“One sake.”

The bartender took out the bottle.

“Oi.”

Naruto turned around.

“We were in front of you!” The man with the shaved head spat.

“You weren’t doing anything.” Naruto replied, not in the mood for confrontation.

“It doesn’t matter!”

“Yeah, it does.”

He grabbed Naruto by the collar. “You should have some fucking respect!”

Sasuke was already standing up at the table, looking even more noticeably annoyed. Great.

“Fuck off!” Naruto replied. “You weren’t even doing anything!”

“Hey!” The bartender interrupted. “No fights, take this outside or I’m calling security!”

The next thing Naruto knew was the man’s arm going around him and suddenly feeling liquid alcohol pour over him.

* * *

 

“You’re so annoying.”

“Fuck _off_.”

“Next time you call me in the middle of the night don’t expect an answer.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“We were in there for less than fifteen minutes.”

Naruto poured the bottle of water into his hands and ran them through his hair.

“I should’ve known better then go along with this. I have things I need to do tomorrow.”

Naruto leant on the street alley, carefully kneeling to avoid the water ruining his pants. The alcohol had already hit the front of his shirt and shoulders which he’d had to wash out. Luckily the hot air was drying it fast.

“Give me the water bottle.”

Sasuke poured the little water left on his knuckles which were red and slightly cut.

Naruto had retaliated to the alcohol with a swing to the man’s face only by reflex. He’d just wanted the man off of him. The man in turn had retaliated with a swing of his own, Naruto had dodged, which was when the man’s friend grabbed him and Sasuke had to get involved.

It had been barely a fight, lasting less than twenty seconds before a worker had gotten involved and kicked them all out.

“Is there anywhere else you want to go?” Sasuke asked sarcastically.

“Yeah.”

“ _Naruto_.”

And, that was how they ended up at the lake.

Naruto’s quest for a fun night was tiring them both. He’d wanted to go to a bar and to drink, but this was not one of those nights you could simply go out and go to any bar.

The park was not where Sasuke was expecting Naruto to take him, but then again the blond was full of surprises. It was a place Sasuke had not visited often in a long time, let alone the lake. The Konoha Lake was a place for children or teenagers looking to skinny dip. It was not a place Sasuke expected to be taken to.

The peer was too high for their feet to touch the water, but Naruto still lay there with his hands under his head and feet swinging back and forth.

“You’ll lose a shoe.” Sasuke was sat down, legs crossed.

“Do you think the water’s warm?”

“No.”

“But it’s hot.”

“It doesn’t mean the water is.” Sasuke said.

“We should take a swim.”

Sasuke did not hear the excitement and determination that would’ve made him worry.

“Do you like to swim?”

“No.”

“Do you like to do anything?” Naruto asked.

“I like to sleep.”

“You can sleep here.”

Sasuke lay down, hands folded on his stomach, next to Naruto.

“I bought some new comics the other day.”

“Hn.”

“Come over to my house tomorrow and we can look at them.”

He had learnt to read Sasuke’s silence as compliance.

When he was young, Naruto had spent school holidays alone. Sometimes if he were lucky Jiraiya would be visiting, but most times he didn’t. Naruto had gone to the park a lot, particularly the lake. The kids had never let him play with them, but sometimes just to be in the same air was enough. Usually he chased squirrels, or when he got older he made friends with old people who came to feed pigeons.

Generally though there wasn’t a lot to do, and even to a child nature became boring. Of course that was before he discovered comics. The park moved to the back of his mind, and soon enough he was every other eleven year old sitting in his air conditioned room with a strained back bending over the comic books. The only reason he had ever willingly gone to the library.

“What did you do on the holidays when you were young?”

Sasuke grunted.

“C’mon. Like, when we were ten?”

Sasuke paused. “I don’t know. I was alone.”

“Oh.” Naruto paused. “What did you do?”

“Read.”

“Read what?”

“I don’t know... Books.”

Naruto made a face. “Nerd. I read comics.”

Sasuke scoffed.

“Do you go out a lot?”

“Sometimes.”

“Really?!” Naruto had imagined Sasuke studying every night, only leaving his desk to drink or bathe. Knowing full well that that was unrealistic and an exaggeration, he still could never get the image out of his mind. “Where?!”

“Why?”

“I wanna go drinking.” Naruto shook him by the shoulder. “C’mon! Please!”

* * *

 

The bartender was a middle aged man with patchy facial hair and a bald spot. “So, how did you meet Sasuke?”

“We go to school together.” Naruto grinned.

“Oh. Are you close?” He smiled, motioning between them.

“I guess.” Naruto shrugged.

Sasuke sipped his mineral water.

“Ah. Well, here’s your drink.” The bartender laughed warmly, and handed Naruto sake. “Enjoy your evening.”

“He was nice.” Naruto said, as they walked to their table.

Sasuke did not reply.

The bar he took Naruto to was similar to the restaurant they had been to earlier: With a colour scheme of dark reds and black, mahogany furniture and a modern romantic theme to it. Though the tables were smaller, and all the customers were men—sometimes that was the case in bars though. Smoking was also allowed in this bar too, which would have been more annoying if there weren’t only one or two men smoking.

They sat near the back of the bar. Naruto crossed his feet and took a drink from his alcohol. “Do you come here a lot?”

“I guess.” More than other bars, at least.

Naruto looked around. “I like this.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s cool.” The atmosphere was nice and cool. There were no loud business men or no annoying couples. Everything here was casual.

Sasuke’s eyes left Naruto for something behind him, he raised his hand up in a small wave.

Naruto turned around, straw from his drink in mouth to see a boy, smiling widely—he looked older than both of them, yet young enough to be friends with them. He waved back, and then with confused eyes glanced to Naruto, only for a second before until one of his friends pulled him away.

They were in a group.

Naruto took him in one last time before turning back to the Uchiha. “Do you know him?”

“Yeah.”

“Your friend?”

“Hn.”

Naruto’s mouth twisted in annoyance.

Sasuke hadn’t told Naruto a lot about this bar, but only a few minutes after walking in Naruto could tell he was a regular and knew this bar well.  Luckily for him the Uchiha seemed to be in a more relaxed mood in this bar than he had been the other or the restaurant. It was easier to talk to him—or at least try. There was no awkwardness in this silence, as though no one here was trying to look or sound better than anyone else.

After his second drink and in between one of their silences, Naruto felt a hand on his shoulder.

When the blond turned his head he was met with the boy from earlier, looking down on him with a shy smile, and eyes glancing between he and the Uchiha. Behind the boy was another boy, this one appearing much less shy, in fact more enthusiastic to get in on the action—whatever action there was.

“My name is Hisao.” The first boy, the one who had waved, said. “And this,” he motioned to the one behind him, “is Masaru.”

“Hello!” Masaru said.

“Can we sit here?” Hisao was a tall boy, though shorter than Sasuke and he. He had brown hair and brown eyes, all in all an average looking person with a probable bubbly personality.

“Sure!” Naruto watched Hisao grab a chair, ignoring Sasuke, who only drank his mineral water.

Both boys sat down at the table.

“I haven’t seen you here in a while.” Hisao commented.

“Busy.” Sasuke said.

“Oh?”

“Hn.”

“Are you going to introduce us to your friend?” Masaru interrupted. The boy was shorter than Hisao, and had grey blond hair with sharp features. He reminded Naruto of Suigetsu, but softer looking. He was holding a cup of what looked like clear alcohol.

It was only then he noticed both boys had come with their own drinks. “I’m Naruto.”

“Do you come here a lot?” Masaru asked. 

“No.” Naruto laughed.

“Sasuke doesn’t usually bring people with him.” Hisao explained. “Everyone’s a bit surprised.”

“Everyone?” How many people did the Uchiha know.

“Oh,” Hisao said. “Those are our friends.” He pointed.

Naruto looked around. The group they had come with sat around a large table. All the boys there looked their age or slightly older. It was a mixture of varying appearances, some masculine, others soft, all in all not a group of people Naruto would have put together.

“Are you and Sasuke close?”

Naruto turned back to Masaru, saying the same thing he had said to the bartender. “I guess.”

“Oh.” Masaru said.

“Do you know Sasuke a lot?” Naruto asked, curios.

Both boys seemed surprised, and then looking to each other shrugged.

“I guess.” Hisao said. “He comes here a lot. We all know each other.”

“He comes here a lot?” Naruto leaned forward.

“Yeah.”

Masaru interrupted with a grab to Hisao’s shoulder, laughing, he said “stop! You’re making him uncomfortable!”

The table turned to Sasuke, who sat tensely.

Hisao laughed, motioning to the Uchiha. “He’s like that a lot. Every time he comes here. He doesn’t know how to have a good time.”

Naruto laughed. “He’s always like that.”

The night passed on like any other summer night, full of alcohol and laughs. It was awkward at first since Naruto didn’t really know how to act—he didn’t know what to expect from anyone labelled as Sasuke’s friends. But sooner or later his extrovert nature came out, and he was sharing stories of high school with them.

Hisao was in his last year of university. He was studying engineering and was originally from Kirigakure—which explained the accent Naruto had just noticed. Masaru was also from Kirigakure, except he had moved to Konoha when he was young so he now associated himself with this city rather than the other. He was a year younger than Hisao and worked in a beauty salon, as a hair dresser and manicurist. He hated his job, but was more set on finding the right person than the right career.

The alcohol kept refilling in his cup. He chose not to think about the tab he would have to pay.

Every now and then he would glance to the boy across from him, and as usual Sasuke would be sitting there calm and quiet, with only a hint of discomfort. But that was so normal for him, Naruto thought, he couldn’t tell whether to acknowledge it or not. In the end, he decided it didn’t matter.

He had at least been expecting the Uchiha to be annoyed, nagging or complaining to go home. But there was something endearing under his discomfort and stoic nature that made Naruto think it was nothing to worry about.

Naruto’s face was already bright read from the alcohol. All eyes turned to the Uchiha when they heart the scraping of a chair being pushed out.

 “Going somewhere?” Hisao.

“The bathroom.” Sasuke removed himself from the table.

“Oh.” Masaru pouted.

Hisao took a swig from his sixth cup and said, “so, how long have you two been having sex?”

Sasuke was too far across the bar and away from their table to hear Naruto yell “What?!”

“How long?” Hisao repeated, casually.

Naruto, drunk from alcohol and the heat stuttered. “W—H—What do you— How—” He whispered frantically. “How did you know?!”

“It’s obvious.”

“Really?!” Naruto’s eyebrows furrowed.

“How long?” Masaru nudged him under the table.

“Uh… I don’t know…” He felt embarrassed.

“It’s fine.” Hisao said. “I just broke up with my boyfriend.”

Naruto turned even redder. “What?”

“It’s fine.” Hisao repeated.

Naruto paused, and under the pressure of the alcohol and his new friends, burst out “a few months?”

“Do you have sex with a lot of boys?” Masaru asked.

Every muscles in his face knotted. “No!”

“He’s your first?” Hisao asked.

“…Yeah…”

Hisao and Masaru both made ‘aw’ sounds, visibly annoying the blond.

“How did it happen?” Hisao asked, intrigued.

“Why are you so interested?” Naruto muttered, almost shy.

“He doesn’t bring a lot of people with him, is all.” Hisao explained. “We’re just curios. There’s no judgement here.”

“…Well…” Naruto said. “…We were in school, and he just… grabbed me, in the toilets… I guess…”

Masaru’s mouth dropped. “That’s rape!”

Naruto frowned. “No… It wasn’t rape…! It was…” He blushed, growing more and more uncomfortable. “…Willing… I guess…”

If either boys noticed his discomfort, neither cared.

“That must’ve been hard for you… Your first time.” Hisao said.

“What…? No… Not really…”

“Still,” Masaru said. “I mean, it must’ve _hurt_.”

“What? No?” Naruto said.

Masaru whispered. “You mean your ass didn’t hurt?”

“My ass—?” It clicked. “WHAT?! _NO_!... I mean… _No_ …! I didn’t… I was…” Naruto whispered, “on _top_ …”

Hisao stared. “Eh?”

Naruto ignored Masaru’s look of shock and Hisao’s gape. “I mean… You know…” He whispered, “top…”

Hisao looked at his drink with raised brows, then slowly to Masaru. “Can you believe this?”

“No way.”

Hisao turned back to Naruto, sipping his drink. “This is the first time I’ve heard of Sasuke being the girl…”

Naruto blushed. They made it sound so corrupt. “What do you mean?”

“He’s out.”

They all turned to see the Uchiha near the bathroom entrance, talking down to a short boy with big eyes and a wide smile. A gentle looking face, like a girl’s. He looked familiar… Naruto’s eyebrows furrowed. The boy from the park? As if to prove his point, Sasuke wore the same expression he had back then, one of patience and placidness.

“Speak of the devil.” Masaru said, putting a hand to his cheek.

Naruto turned back to them. “Do you know him?”

“He’s coming.” Masaru said.

Naruto turned around again. Sasuke was parting ways with the park boy and coming towards them.

“That was Aki.” Hisao whispered. “He should know… Sasuke prefers to be the man.”

* * *

 

It had been a long night of drinking. The whole table had gotten drunk, except Sasuke. Hisao had ended up calling a taxi, holding dearly to the passed out Masaru. Both boys were not the type he had imagined Sasuke associating himself with. But as Naruto lent drunkenly onto Sasuke’s shoulder, he supposed there were a lot of things he didn’t know about the Uchiha.

“I’m tired.”

“Shut up.”

“Why are you always mad?” Naruto whined. He smelt of alcohol and sweat.

His father wasn’t home, which made being carried on a sober Sasuke all that much easier.

He felt himself be let down onto the softness ofa bed, and Sasuke's body which had been so close and warm to him was suddenly dissapearing.

The Uzumaki grabbed him feebly by the sleeve. “Wait.”

“What?”

“Don’t go.”

Sasuke sighed.

Naruto kept hold of the sleeve, expecting Sasuke to easily fight it off and leave. Maybe out of tiredness or laziness, he ended up slowly surrendering his body, until both of them were side by side, barely touching except for the hand gripping Sasuke’s arm.

Naruto leaned the side of his temple on Sasuke’s shoulder, feeling a steady pace of breathing. Unsure if either one of them was even awake; Naruto tried to put his mouth against pale, sweaty and warm skin, breathing out a small and groggy "happy birthday".

* * *

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

* * *

Sakura 

Sakura stretched her arms, rolling over and burying her face in her bed. She flung her arm out to the bedside table, feeling around for her phone. Finally, she felt the hard rectangular tool, and turning it on she peeked one eye at the screen.

 **To:** Sakura  
**From:** Naruto  
**Message:  
**_He said no_

* * *

 Sasuke

Bowing to his brother’s gravestone had always been an awkward act. There was a resilient stubbornness towards his brother that seemed to stay even after death.

The flowers in the pot were dried and dead, he imagined they used to be blue and vibrant at one point. His mother liked to come here, replacing flowers, taking care of the grave, mourning. His father, as far as he knew, never came.  _Sasuke_ —rarely. Only on anniversaries.  

His eyes were locked onto the gravestone for what felt like hours, and then slowly wondered— the only grave next to his brother—the one on the right. It was hard to pass that grave without feeling obligation to sit and mourn, pay respects in any way, really. After all, Shisui had been family.

Sasuke stood up, feeling his numbed legs react. Then again, he had a lot of family. Shisui and he had never been particularly close.

* * *

 

 _When I am dead, I charge you to mingle our ashes and bury us together._  
                                 — Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles.

* * *

Hinata

To say Hinata didn’t like walking to school would be an understatement. The girl had had anxiety for her whole life, a stutter for half. The insecurity and discomfort for a girl like her to be alone on the streets of Konoha to school was overwhelming. Most times she walked to school it was with friends, but unfortunately there would be days they would either not be going to school or would be late. Thus, as this was both of those times, she had to walk alone.

However, worse than the walk to school was the train ride. To get to her school, she had to walk to the station and take an express train to the left wing of Konoha. The station she boarded was the fifth station on the train’s route. So, unfortunately, by the time she boarded there were barely if any seats available for her.

She ended up having to stand, with a hand on a pole for stability.

When she felt the touch at first she thought she’d rubbed up accidently on someone—as was common. But then there were movements across her back, slow, and steady and then those movements were lowering themselves. A hand.

When people spoke about abuse or times of conflict, they only ever spoke about two reactions: Fight or flight.

But Hinata knew, there was another, a common reaction that was especially common in those who had faced abuse as children. Shock. The stiffening of the body. The frozenness. Like a mouse in a cat’s mouth.

The hand lowered to her thigh and squeezed.

She heard a familiar “HEY!”

Then there was a tumble and the hand snatched away from her.

“What are you doing?!”

Hinata turned to see familiar blond, gripping the wrist of a middle aged man in a suit. “WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING TEENAGE GIRLS?!”

* * *

  
“T-Thank you.”

“It’s fine.” Naruto said, eyebrows furrowed. “What a perv. I hope he rots.”

Hinata nodded, grateful for his presence, and yet embarrassed. She had valued herself so deeply for growing as a person, maturing, becoming more and more outspoken and strong over the years. And yet in this moment she had gone back to the twelve year old girl with no back bone or voice.

“Do you take the train a lot?” Naruto asked.

“S-Sometimes.” Her voice was quiet.

“Do you take it alone?” He asked.

“Usually S-Sakura or I-Ino are with me.”

“Where are they now?”

“I don’t know. I think Ino is s-sick.”

Naruto tutted in disapproval. “You should’ve at least called Kiba or something. You two are friends aren’t you?”

“Y-Yeah. But we don’t really t-talk that much anymore.” She admitted.

“Why?”

“I-I don’t know…” She said. “He’s always w-with you.”

Kiba, Shino and her had once been so close. But when high school had come around the Inuzuka had wanted to be around his own.

“Damn, I can talk to him for you if you want.” Naruto suggested.

Hinata blushed. “I-It’s okay.”

“Nah, it’s fine. If anything like this happens again you can call me if you want. Do you have my number?”

Hinata blushed furiously. “N-N-No— …”

She watched him put his number into her phone. She must be so red right now, how nice of Naruto to pretend not to notice.

“If you need me, call me. Kay?”

“O-Okay.”

“Ah—” Naruto’s eyes drifted behind her, and suddenly he was focused on something else.

Hinata glanced behind her. Sasuke was arriving at the gates of school.

“I’ll see ya later! Okay?!” He patted her on the shoulder, making sure one last time she was okay, before jogging off.

She watched him near tackle the Uchiha. Sasuke pushed him off in return, provoking a swing from Naruto’s arm around his shoulder. Like brothers.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where to begin?  
> I suppose you’re wondering why this chapter is so short?  
> Well, I’m going to address that in the second paragraph.  
> First of all, I want to comment on something one or two of you may have noticed. I pretty much deleted the first chapter and re-edited the beginning of this whole story. To be honest, I started this fanfic when I was seventeen—(or sixteen?). It was one of my first sasunaru fics and I was so unsure about how to write it. I’d only been writing straight ships before that and sasunaru was so complex to me it was a tremendous struggle.  
> I guess what I’m trying to say is that beginning is terrible and I’ve been unhappy with it for a long time. I’ve only recently decided that I need to make legitimate changes to it so that it flows better with the rest of story. The sex scene is gone, (I was unhappy with how I wrote it, I know most of you will be disappointed but I had to do it, sorry.) I also changed the summary of this fanfiction because I feel like the original mislead a lot of people in how the story really was.  
> If any of you could take the time to read the first/second chapters and try and tell me what you think or if it flows well with the rest of the story I would really appreciate it. I don’t really have any beta or anything to correct my work for me, (obviously). 
> 
> Second of all, why this chapter is so short?  
> Well, I haven’t really been posting in a while anyway. Originally I wanted to finish the whole first chapter before posting this. But I just couldn’t force myself to write it anymore. So I thought instead of posting this message alone, it would be better to post at least what I had written beforehand. Basically, as I said before, I started this story when I was younger. It’s been around two years(?), and it’s fair to say a lot in my life has changed—including my writing capabilities.  
> I’ve always had a lot of determination and love for this story and to finish it, but for the moment I just don’t feel like I have the will to. My life is very stressful and a lot is happening at the moment, though I’d love to continue and finish this story as soon as I can, which is what I planned to do. It would be wrong to force myself to do that unhappily.  
> Another thing is, my chapters haven’t been really getting a lot of reviews, and I ignored that for the most part, but after starting a new shortfic and seeing the difference in attention that they got it really hit me. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m stopping writing this story because I’m not getting any reviews. It’s more like the reward doesn’t outweigh the stress of this for me. If the audience isn’t enjoying it why am I pushing myself through the strain for it?  
> Anyway, that being said, I definitely do plan on continuing this story- regardless of reviews.  
> I don’t know when I will re-continue this story, but I promised myself I would finish it so I definitely will, one day. I just don’t know how long that would be, and it would feel wrong to leave this story in the dark.
> 
> Anyway,  
> thank you for all the reviews I have received.  
> I’m very grateful for the fans this story has gotten,  
> and I’ll hopefully see you all again later. On the bright side, while i'm putting this story on hiatus, I will continue writing. It will probably only be a few one shots or a shortfic but I still want to write sasunaru, just without the pressure and responsibility of this kind of heavy longfic. So I won't be completly gone.


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